Funny Couplet Poems | Examples

These Funny Couplet poems are examples of Couplet poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Couplet Funny poems written by international poets.


Premium MemberMy Rabbit Plays Poker

                 My rabbit plays poker
                   He’s no joker

                 He knows how to bluff
                    and lots of other stuff

                 We split the winnings
                     which has him grinning

                  I told him 20/80 ~ stupid bunny
                      thought it was funny


Premium MemberTHE WAGES OF SIN

The wages of sin are just never paid.
Try as you might you can't make the grade.

Came home from work all tired and forlorn,
My back hurts, my feet hurt, I've bunions and corns.

I've pills for my back, my neck and my shoulders,
No sense in complaining, I'm just getting older.

I rarely sleep now, I just pass out,
Then I wake with a start 'cause my dogs must go out.

The cat's waiting patiently by the back door,
As the dogs race excitedly across the floor.

Then I go to the bathroom to swallow my pills,
Half an hour before breakfast, it's my daily drill.

I bend over double to brush out my locks,
Took a coughing fit and peed in my sock.

I'm just getting old I tell myself again,
It's my punishment now for a youth filled with sin.
© Judy Ball  Create an image from this poem.

Premium MemberHow My Sisters' Advice Led to a Job as Santa Claus

     
    Older sister advised, Girls like a man with money
        Younger one giggled, Just be funny

     I tried to be funny, but made no money
        Instead I ate a lot and grew my tummy

Premium MemberAdd Humor To Your Day

Instead of acting like you’re in mourning
With a smiling face, just say good morning

Instead of walking around with a frown
Just be happy without being a clown

 Kids don’t need for your tales to be gory
Why not share with them, a funny story

No need to go on about your ex-wife
Say something humorous about your life

To break the ice so that others will laugh
 This morning, I woke up, clothed in the bath
© Bill Baker  Create an image from this poem.

Premium MemberWho Am I

This may seem lame. 
Let’s make it a game.

I’ll give you a clue.
You try to guess who.

Proceeding my entrance by just a short while,
Is often the presence or hint of a smile.

Used sometimes by women, more often by men,
Often, I start as a quaint little grin.

I can also be hardy, and sometimes quite loud,
And often I’m present amongst a small crowd.

If it is me, you want to invoke,
Share with the group, a funny joke.

If you want to seem happy from now ever after,
Invite me in, I’m best known as laughter.
© Bill Baker  Create an image from this poem.


Premium MemberDONUTS AND MILK

DONUTS AND MILK ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I crave a treat, a sweet delight one that brings a smile and makes my morning bright. Donuts and milk, a perfect pair my favorite breakfast, beyond compare. The milk, a chalice, pure and white a perfect complement to the donut's sugary delight. Glazed, iced, cake, or filled with jelly each bite a journey that goes straight to my belly. Donuts and milk become one with me a perfect harmony, a deliciously sweet symphony.

Premium MemberSteven The Seagull

I saw him posing on his perch
While exploring Blackpool merch.
"The Snack Thief" is how he's locally known
Wide eyed, plump and holding his own.
He loves chips, ice cream cones and bread...
So keep an eye out over head!
He'll hover, then suddenly down he'll swoop
To gather up a hearty scoop.
Or he'll seem to dawdle by your side
But snatch your snack when you watch the tide.
He's very intelligent and with it sneaky.
But he is endearing, cute and cheeky.
Its advisable for tourists to feast inside
Where naughty seagulls don't reside.
Steven Seagull now lives with me
So he can't cause chaos near the sea!

Premium MemberFunny Teacher


My teacher who thought sun-bathing made her well-red,
graded me average, she was mean to the power hundred.

She was once a banker, but after some time lost interest,
wanted to be a pilot, so her career could take off for the best.

She thought to be able to fly high, could be truly uplifting,
instead she bought a boat, for in the sea it was for sail drifting. 

She was an optimist, her blood type was B-positive, they stated,
but the doctor said it was Type-O, the mistake was corrected.

Her memory was photographic, but she couldn’t fully develop it,
she needed to alter a brain part, changed her mind the last minute.

When she stole neighbor’s lamps, he couldn’t be more de-lighted,
a picturesque girl, she landed in jail, “I was framed”, she asserted.

Premium MemberEntertain Them for a While

      ‘Here come some more of them
        Plenty of little kids too
      Time to put on our funny faces
        Entertain them for a while’

     ‘Chase each other round and round
        Make lots of high-pitched sounds 
      Swing from vine to vine, almost falling
        Miraculous recoveries our signature calling’ ...  

     Like clowns in a circus, they put on quite a show
        Yet what’s in a monkey’s heart, no one really knows

Premium MemberSNL Primetime - 2028

    ‘Fetterman’s the Betterman’

      ~ says David Letterman

Premium MemberLet Me Tell You Bout The Nerd And The Bees

My Famous Favorite Poet,

One day, I'll write like you own it.
Your gorgeously written sonnet,
Mines are like bees in my bonnet.
Words hum dimly and don't brighten,
Yours float high, and they enlighten.
All my poems acquire honey,
They buzz about sounding funny.
Each of your sonnets shines like gold,
With words that glow, so all behold.
My poems hid inside a beehive,
While yours outside gets a high five.
I hope to write like your sonnet,
Honeyed butter like Bluebonnet.

Premium MemberChristmas On The Isthmus; Fer yer Consideration

Please rate 1-10
(1 Santa would be proud or
  10 A coal in your stocking!)

A white Christmas in Chicagee don't make no sense
Bout time we skeedaddle, let good times commence

So where to go, my darlin' Maggie and me
As we swig down our egg nog and pack our tree?

The lil' miss and I'll be spendin' this Christmas
Way down yonder on the Panama Isthmus

There's a honky-tonk there on the ol' canal
Tequilla will be flowin' for me and my gal

Premium MemberWhen Will I Grow Up

When will I finally fill your shoes, 
Reach maturity like you did?
You seemed to have all the answers
When I was just a kid. 
I've been waiting a long time now
So maybe I missed my turn, 
I'm well past the age you were, 
By now I should have learned!
How did you do the adulting, so effortless,
Not overwhelmed or lost?
You juggled a job,a family, and never
Dropped any ball we tossed. 
You seemed so fearless, standing tall,
A million arms to answer each call. 
All I can think when life comes at me 
Is I don't even have half your balls.

Premium MemberIt's Not Whether You Win or Lose - O, Dang, Yes It Is

         Pony-up, you owe the money
           Your protests, not even funny

         When you win, we pay up fast
           The about-face ~ What a contrast

Premium MemberThe Mouse with the Hat


Montague mouse wants to purchase a hat “Why do you need that,” asked milliner cat Montague replied, “It’s so that I can marry” I must wear a nice hat for when I wed Barry” “Barry told me that he won’t leave the house If I don’t wear a titfer,” said Montague mouse So please create a rainbow hat – it mustn’t be grey And I’ll wear it with gay pride on our wedding day! The wedding hat’s embellished with feathers of pink An apple, an orange and trimmed with soft lilac mink!

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