Best Turkey Poems
Oh how I love thee with your white and dark meat
Thou art the very best
But because of you, I can’t see my feet
My navel is two feet from my chest
To diet and lose so I don’t wobble no more
I would be very willing
It would be impossible now, because somehow
I finished four bowls of filling
My wife pointed at me and said look at him
He sits at the table, like a dog he begs
I stare at you and your magnificent breast
Can hardly wait to get my hands on your legs
Enough already, I’m on my knees
Give me some stuffing and some black eyed peas
Sweet potatoes, corn and a salad I’ll toss
And bury your butt with cranberry sauce
Oh turkey, my turkey, you’re the one who rocks
Now I’ve gotten so fat, I can’t put on my socks
My love for you was fleeting
And we are finished I fear
But I’ll fall in love with another turkey
Same time next year.
They organized a church bazaar,
To raise money for the poor.
A booth for selling chances
Was set up, outside the door.
When I bought the raffle ticket,
My reasoning was murky,
And I could only just believe it,
When I won that doggone turkey.
Now, the kids were all excited
When we brought the critter home.
So we placed him in the barnyard,
Where he'd have lots of room to roam.
Since the date was late October,
I'm quite sure you understand,
That to have him for Thanksgiving
Was my awe inspiring plan.
Well, the turkey was no birdbrain,
As I was very soon to find.
That bird knew what I was thinking;
Why, I declare, he read my mind.
I let the children care for him,
To my most profound regret--
He turned on his charming manner,
And, quickly, he became their pet.
But that fact did not deter me,
I told myself it didn't matter.
I was dead set and determined
To see that gobbler on a platter.
When the kids perceived my purpose,
They turned on the tears and pleas.
Then, the wife joined in their chorus,
And that brought me to my knees.
So I told my grieving family
They could dry up, and relax.
I concealed my disappointment--
Went and put away the axe.
Came the dinner of Thanksgiving,
Not a sad face could be found.
And our live Thanksgiving turkey
Was the gladdest bird around.
We gathered around the table,
And I humbly asked the blessing--
While Tom gobbled down his corn, outside,
We had hotdogs and dressing.
Turkey's on the table, both legs up
Everything was fine, 'til I made the first cut!
The turkey unleashed a "CACKLE!", then jumped onto the floor
All you could see was basted skin, bolting out the door!
"Catch that turkey!!", I screamed,..."That's our evening meal!!"
The neighborhood looked on in awe, while asking,..."What's the deal?!"
The turkey rounded the corner, boy, that sucker was quick
Dashing like a sprinter, pumpin' those massive drumsticks!
It darted down an alley, disturbed a hobo's nap
And there, seated in a corner, he jumped upon his lap!
"Thank you Lord!", the hobo cried..."Today I won't have to beg!"
"Maybe I'll start with a wing, or perhaps I'll have a leg!"
"Put the turkey down!!", I roared,..."That bird belongs to me!!"
All I could see was a tailwind, as the hobo decided to flee!
I chased him down the alley, perhaps a quarter mile
Acting a fool in public, was never quite my style!
We dashed across the freeway, dodging every car
All I want is my turkey, can't stop, I've come too far!
The chase led to a corner, right past a city cop
He stood there like a scarecrow, talk about a useless flop!
Suddenly, it ended, the bum tripped over his laces
He broke his leg quite viciously, in fact, several places!
I woke up the next morning, thank God it was just a dream
With a hangover and an achin' skull, "OUCH!!" is what I screamed!
I looked over at the table, what do you think I'd see?
That same ol' basted turkey, lying there peacefully!
I stumbled to the table, laid that bird in a box
Packed two sides with a bisquit, then staggered on down the block!
I came upon that alley, peeked behind a garbage can
And there, sleeping like a baby, was a ragged ol' homeless man!
I placed the box beside him, never did I say a word
I penned a note which kindly read,..."Hope you like the bird."
A Gourmet Dark Chocolate
A wanting palate
Just a taste the rest you'll need
Melted yes indeed
Apply to privates
Great for diets
Feed!
25~10~2014
Sponsor: Andrea Dietrich
Contest Name: MAKE ME DROOL with EPULAERYU
I Hope You're Drooling This Year I Am Your
Chocolate Covered Turkey
He loved a drink did ol'Johnny McBeal
And offered to cook the thanksgiving meal
All the trimmings with turkey
For their friends and family
His wife agreed but no drink was the deal...
On the big day he was up before five
But with no drink knew he wouldn't survive
Found a bottle of sherry
Then started to get merry
Guests arrived and the bird was still alive...
Johnnys wife said " you have ruined thanksgiving
The turkeys gobbling and it's still living
There is no main course
I want a divorce
I'm upset and I won't be forgiving"...
She then reached out for a sharp carving knife
Johnny was shaking in fear for his life
She wanted the turkey dead
Who ran out the door and fled
Johnny thought she is one demented wife...
Johnny was determined to save the day
And phoned Mcdonalds for a takeaway
Ten turkey burgers arrived
Ol' Johnny's marriage survived
Then before dinner they knelt down to pray...
And what became of the McBeals turkey?
He was found terrified up in a tree
His poor life was spared
By someone who cared
Now lives in peace in a bird sanctuary...
Written 16th November 2021
In Nineteen ninety-six, our son and wife, Majors
In US Army, moved to Izmir, their new base.
As usual, whatever place they were assigned,
We flew to visit them as well as dear grandkids.
So off we went to spend two weeks in Turkey, this
Outstanding country we had never been before.
So much to see at Ephesus—Metropolis
Of Antique Age; The Stadium, the Harbor Bath,
Basilica, the Marble Road, Heracles Gate—
All ruins now. Were sad to see these wondrous works
Of art and architecture now in disarray
And strewn about on fields on which they proudly stood.
Of varied striking sites in Pergamon, we saw
The City Walls, the Aqueducts, Acropolis,
The Temple Dionysus, that of Trajan too.
So many ages, periods had ruled this place,
Artistic wonders, structures turned to ruins—works
Of Persian, Greek, Roman and more, in pieces lay.
Besides the many ancient ruins visited,
We were amazed that many locals spoke our tongue.
They did their best to make us feel so much at ease,
Were gracious in combined Mid-Eastern/Euro style
Of hospitality and types of food they ate
And served, like cheese, tomatoes, olives of all kinds.
Izmir, a city mixed with culture old and new,
Like modern shops and open markets, outdoor stands
With fish and meats on ice, yet weighed on modern scales.
And women with fine bread on plates held up on heads,
Who walked the streets in morning, dressed in peasant garb;
Yet working business women wore more modern dress.
We ventured to the famous city, Istanbul,
Surprised to see the many high-rise buildings there,
And streets so overcrowded with their vehicles;
Large offices and business centers everywhere—
Ladies with fashion boots, purses and western dress;
Big contrast with those living back in country hills.
Such history surrounds this ancient, distant land;
So many varied cultures ruled their sacred world.
Museums filled with artifacts from centuries,
Safeguarded and in view to honor and behold.
This trip shall always hold such special, vivid thoughts
For us to cherish and remember for all time.
Of course, this one-time trip was many years ago;
We're happy we had ventured then instead of now,
For times have changed; such unrest grows within our world.
Sandra M. Haight
~1st Place~
Contest: Memorable Vacations
Sponsor: Shadow Hamilton
Judged: May 8, 2015
Iambic Hexameter
Buck buck buh-buck-buck
Buck buck buh-buck
Buck buck, buck buck, buck buck buck
Bucka buck bucka bucka buck
A'buck buck buck.
Buh-KAW k'buck buck
Buh-KAW k'buck
Buh-KAW k'buck buck
Buh-KAW k'buck
Buck buck buck buck
Buck buck buck
Bucka buck bucka bucka buck
A'buck buck buck.
Tom Turkey got lost 'midst the teeming flock,
Thus, avoiding the dreaded chopping block!
Hunkering down spared his life,
Averting the carving knife!
He now recovers from traumatic shock!
A wild gobbler strutted into the woods,
it did not see all the camouflage hoods,
straight into a turkey shoot;
trips over a gnarly root,
with ruffle feathers made off with its goods.
11/17/2019
Poetry Contest: Holiday Themed Limerick
Sponsored By: Tania Kitchin
*if ya wanna add some sillies, hop on the wagon!
After the feast, Tommy was gone
Hen said, "Don't worry, won't be for long."
"He'll reincarnate,
Just sit and wait."
"He's not just SOME - POET, Tommy's a song."
"He's always a gas, loads of fun,
With plenty of wit and good with a pun."
"If you miss him,
Be sure to kiss 'em,
When he comes again to shine like the sun."
By Jan Allison:
When he struts it engorges his snood
Oh my goodness that really sounds rude
It dangles from his beak
You must go take a peek
See Tom is the king of his brood.
By ilene bauer:
He was missed, though, by all of his group
Who felt bad he was out of the loop
So they jotted some rhymes
Thinking 'bout those good times
Now he's brought back to life on the soup!
By Alexis Y:
Tommy the turkey is not gone
He's hibernating and listening to a song
When he comes back
His strut won't be whack
Maybe this time he'll arrive with loud gong
By rogerPAT Adams:
When he struts it's more of a wobble
No matter if ground, grass or cobble
Though it might seem rude
When he's in the mood
I've heard he loves to gobble!
By Jack Ellison:
Tommy can be very rude at times
But down deep, his star really shines
His heart glows bright
Nothing bad I can write
Like his author, he's a master of rhyme"
Turkey farmer Jones was seen as a kook.
Many declared his whole life was a fluke.
But they were not aware
Jones had learned a skill rare,
he was fluent in speaking gobbledygook.
I'M GONNA GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE,
UNTIL I WOBBLE, WOBBLE, WOBBLE...
Written by Gail DeBole
When a turkey, who yearly escapes
From his owner's Thanksgiving plate,
Was asked to reveal
Why he's never a meal
He said, "That much of a turkey I ain't!"
Note: Thanksgiving is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of each November in the United States. President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed this as an official holiday in 1863.
Oh thee! Of feathered frock
Bird of paradise – thee are not
For you wobble when you walk
And gobble – gobble - while you talk
Oh thee! Of stubby legs
Neck hanging in a bag
Of skin that sags and sags
How can you face another day?
Oh thee! With girth rotund
With wings of nearly none
Your flight is but a funny run
Some chase you just for fun
Oh thee! Of feathered frock
Bird of paradise - thee are not
As you lie on chopping block
Ending up in cooking pot.
But come Thanksgiving Day-
Everyone will gladly say
You are by far - the finest bird
That God has ever made.
Author: Elaine Cecelia George of Canada
his thanksgiving feast
the loved ones around him there
picture hangs on wall
©Donna Jones