Best Stole Poems

'Twas the night before Christmas and their pages were bare
  Not one word could they write, not one verse to declare
  The Grinch had snuck in, and in one fell swoop
  Had stolen the muses from poets on the "Soup"!

 It was...

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Listen this is no comedy
                                   - you stole all my candy
...

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SOMEONE STOLE MY SNOWMAN

Someone stole my snowman, I only made it yesterday 
A carrot nose and coal for eyes in the traditional snowman way
The thieves were pretty clever; they left his hat and scarf behind
They also left his carrot nose so he’ll be right and...

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My auntie wears 'Bridget Jones' knickers
But last week at tea at the vicars
She’d purloined MY lace thong
It was morally wrong
T’was the cause of very loud snickers

My thong’s wedged between her butt crack
Stuck firmly between front and back
But it’s not a surprise
As it’s not in her...

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I am old. Old I am.
And frankly I don't give a damn.
I take bright pills for all my ills
And little rugrats call me gram.

Teeth are gone. Gone are they.
Can't chew my food the normal way.
I glue some in to fill my grin
I'm lucky if they...

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My trembling started as a small shudder, but quickly grew.
What’s happening?
A look of confusion and helplessness on my face,
I had no idea of what was about to pass.
The mix of worry filled me with fearfulness,
while my stomach only grew too nauseated
by the thought of his...

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I stole a peek inside your dream, a gentle
smile upon my face as my love had found
its place. Soft and warm my eyes did lie,
on every breath and every sigh. Candles
flickered and shadows danced, the night
was ours and well romanced. Pore on pore
as bodies yearned,...

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I fried up a platter of chicken,
And served it fer supper last night.
The family ate all but one piece,
Which I saved for my snack tonight.

When I got to the fridge, it was empty,
What in the hell is going on???
There’s an empty carton of milk!
But my...

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Isis stole my son.
My hand was clasped, tight, I swear
Our fingers entwined, as he tugged me, eagerly, around the fair

From the ducks, to the teacups, his smile was mine alone
We were two, hand in hand, tone within tone.

A plane, it juttered, just above his sweet...

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Where’s the tinsel that made the tree look cold
have not seen the popcorn that was hung so old
those huge colorful bulbs always got into a snag
 I did the tree back then and I just had to brag.

It was an adventure to go find a...

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There's been a breaking news report about Santa's reindeer.
While flying over Russia, they were lassoed by vile Vladimir!
"I'm determined to ruin Christmas for everyone this year.
Too many smiling faces in the world," he said with a sneer.

An envelope arrived at the Kremlin. Postage was first...

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My beating heart beats faster
How you take my breath away
You've transformed my disaster
Changing my life in many ways

Bringing a smile to my red lips
And laughter again to my soul
Making my sadness begin to slip
My heart you seem to have stole...

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*prose was six lines when posted.

STOLE HER HEART TOO

A golden feather, shaped like a heart - the point like a prima donna’s ballet toes. Spoiled feather fell from forever into mortal hands. The giant screamed, stomped at his loss.  The whirligig like the lamellae...

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Useless most times,thats how i feel,worthless,confused not a big deal. Hopless,annoyed,feeling cold in my heart. Not understanding why my world fell apart. We didnt have much but our love kept us whole,why did this happen to us a decade you stole. When i think of...

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While I wasn't looking, somebody stole my soda.
I quickly learned that it was Jedi Master Yoda.
I walked over to his table and we exchanged words.
I really got mad when that dwarf flipped me a bird.
I beat the hell out of him, whooping him wasn't hard...

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