Best Stole Poems
'Twas the night before Christmas and their pages were bare
Not one word could they write, not one verse to declare
The Grinch had snuck in, and in one fell swoop
Had stolen the muses from poets on the "Soup"!
It was the thing that all poets dread
As visions of emptiness swirled in their heads
No syllables floated to fill in the gap
Some poets decided their contest to scrap!
Then on the blog page there arose such a chatter
Poets rushed over to see what was the matter
The blogger's avatar was just a red sash
She said she could get back the muses, for a large sum of cash
Many of the poets thought this was a trick
It was just a scheme to make money real quick
But in the blink of an eye another blogger came
He said that St. Nicholas was his real name!
Now Heidi, now Anne-Lise, now Andrea and Jan
They told us that St. Nicholas had a plan
To the realm of the Grinch where green snowflakes fall
St Nicholas would go and retrieve the muses for all!
In no time at all he took to the sky
And to the realm of the Grinch on his sleigh he did fly
As the Grinch lay sleeping the muses he withdrew
And to the Soup, again he flew
He delivered the muses to all the poets around
Poets started writing their words did abound
They wrote of angels and bright stars, and things that uplift
St. Nick had given them the muse as their gift
Then St. Nick called for all his reindeer
And soon he took off and flew out of there
But they heard him say, before he left the site
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good write!!
Listen this is no comedy
- you stole all my candy
I know how much younger my brother is
... love and tolerance
Sometimes it requires confrontation,
get out frustration and anger
Forgiveness or not
Does he deserve to be forgiven?
Right now I feel :
angry,
very disappointed,
low blood sugar,
and are tired
Just wait ... until Saturday
Payback time
16/10/2019
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
If I were your brother Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Bobby May
1st place in the contest
Poem of the Week: 20/10/2019
SOMEONE STOLE MY SNOWMAN
Someone stole my snowman, I only made it yesterday
A carrot nose and coal for eyes in the traditional snowman way
The thieves were pretty clever; they left his hat and scarf behind
They also left his carrot nose so he’ll be right and hard to find
When I realized this morning, that my snowman wasn’t there
I thought I must investigate, this rather sad affair
But there were no clues that I could see, just a soggy scarf and hat
And a little patch of yellow snow, but I’m sure the dog did that
That smiley, chubby snowman, was built by my own hand
A little bit of snowy art, in a winter wonderland
My hands and feet were freezing, as I made this masterpiece
But my snowman seems to be no more, he is in fact diseased
I have to face reality, my snowman’s gone away
Maybe he was magic, and he’ll return again someday
I stare out at the winter sun, as the snow melts on my lawn
And I sit and wonder to myself, where has my snowman gone
My auntie wears 'Bridget Jones' knickers
But last week at tea at the vicars
She’d purloined MY lace thong
It was morally wrong
T’was the cause of very loud snickers
My thong’s wedged between her butt crack
Stuck firmly between front and back
But it’s not a surprise
As it’s not in her size
There’s no room to cut any slack
Aunt waddles around like a duck
Like a chicken she begins to cluck
‘Yes I took her G-string
Get me out of this thing’
Stop gawping, help me get unstuck
The Vicar say’s I’ll get my pliers
On reflection it’s what this requires
The vicar doesn’t shirk
As he gets down to work
But after an hour he tires
My auntie’s visage is not pale
(Her embarrassment is off the scale)
When my G string gets cut
It pings clean off her butt
It’s a shame she’s the tush of a whale!
For a ‘sweet’ friend BB xx
07/22/21
I am old. Old I am.
And frankly I don't give a damn.
I take bright pills for all my ills
And little rugrats call me gram.
Teeth are gone. Gone are they.
Can't chew my food the normal way.
I glue some in to fill my grin
I'm lucky if they stay all day!
I am vexed! Vexed am I!
And now I'm going to tell you why
I fall asleep in time to leap
And to the porcelain pony fly!
I am slow. Slow I am.
In stores I cause a traffic jam.
Joints go crack, can't bend my back
I failed my walker drive exam!
But say the word. The word just say.
And you and I can spend the day!
Let's eat prunes and sing some tunes
Then cuddle with my friend, Ben Gay!
B een too long since my last vacation travel trip.
A bsolute island beauty does relax my job’s grip.
H alting busy is easy on heavenly beach strips
A long this islands’ multi jeweled peaks and tips.
M y tropical gratefulness shall never dip.
A ll main island life moves at a fun paced clip
S o I may stay with paradise at my fingertips.
My trembling started as a small shudder, but quickly grew.
What’s happening?
A look of confusion and helplessness on my face,
I had no idea of what was about to pass.
The mix of worry filled me with fearfulness,
while my stomach only grew too nauseated
by the thought of his touch I hated.
He covered my mouth and said, “Don’t make a sound.”
My terrifying silent screams echoing in my mind,
as my body moved with the impact of his hips, I find
it engulfed in tearing at my soul being ripped apart.
“Please,” I begged hoarsely, my eyes beseeching him to stop,
but his gazed lust ignored my pleas.
No matter how much I pleaded with my tormented eyes.
It's dark; once again,
fear of emotion penetrated through all my muscles
all the way to my bones,
as I hear his footstep outside my room while my mother sleeps.
The doorknob slowly turned, opening the door.
Stepping in, he slowly approaches pushing back the covers
and crawls next to me in bed.
Ten years have passed since I left home.
The scars reappeared in my mind,
when I saw the evil start walking toward me.
Why? I asked myself,
as I clench my fist and anger raged through me.
His image brought back the nightmares of fear and distress.
Tortured scream that use to make me jerk from out of bed,
making my whole body shake.
Wishing to slap him for the torture I went through,
instead a cold glaring look,
and turned and walked away wishing him dead.
7/31/2017
I stole a peek inside your dream, a gentle
smile upon my face as my love had found
its place. Soft and warm my eyes did lie,
on every breath and every sigh. Candles
flickered and shadows danced, the night
was ours and well romanced. Pore on pore
as bodies yearned, desire surrendered as
passion burned. The scent of Rose fills the
air, with every kiss I show I care. With my
gentle hands I cup your chin, release the
fire deep within, whisper soft I love you
so, and meld with you in binding glow.
I fried up a platter of chicken,
And served it fer supper last night.
The family ate all but one piece,
Which I saved for my snack tonight.
When I got to the fridge, it was empty,
What in the hell is going on???
There’s an empty carton of milk!
But my piece of chicken is gone!
Now, who stole my piece of chicken???
Someone’s got some ‘splainin’ to do!
Don’t move till I get some answers!
I think there’s a thief among you!
I wanna see everyone’s teeth!
Mama take yours outta the jar!
And Owen, for you I mean tooth.
This time, someone’s gone too far!
Last time I checked, this was my house!!
Owen, sit your chunky butt down!!!
That was MY dang piece of chicken!!
Now somebody’s runnin’ to town!
I been craving chicken all day!
Don't make me kick you out that door!!
Just get on down to the Coronal
And get me a bucket of four!
And Owen, don’t forget the biscuits!
Or your butt, I will be kickin’!
I hope you’ve learned your lesson boy!
Don’t mess with a man’s piece of chicken!!!
There's been a breaking news report about Santa's reindeer.
While flying over Russia, they were lassoed by vile Vladimir!
"I'm determined to ruin Christmas for everyone this year.
Too many smiling faces in the world," he said with a sneer.
An envelope arrived at the Kremlin. Postage was first class.
And a note scribbled from a poet's hand, that was rather crass.
It read, Here's a gift for you. I found it in a pile on my grass.
I hope it reminds you of the poop that plopped from your ass.
Putin was enraged! Someone took a photo of his snarling jeer.
When it was shown on the news, the world let out a cheer!
He's going to take revenge, and wants everyone to live in fear
but I think there's a hero who's going to take down Vladimir.
The one who'll save Christmas is a jolly man in a red suit.
Usually he's kind to others, but not to one of such ill repute.
He'll get back all eight reindeer and his sleigh filled with loot
and tie up old Valdimir, that obnoxious murderous brute!
Santa wasn't injured when putrid Putin captured the reindeer.
Laying a finger beside his nose, he got himself into first gear.
"I'll nuke him," Santa said, "Blast his butt out the hemisphere!
Then deliver toys to girls and boys. Fly home and have a beer."
My beating heart beats faster
How you take my breath away
You've transformed my disaster
Changing my life in many ways
Bringing a smile to my red lips
And laughter again to my soul
Making my sadness begin to slip
My heart you seem to have stole
*prose was six lines when posted.
STOLE HER HEART TOO
A golden feather, shaped like a heart - the point like a prima donna’s ballet toes. Spoiled feather fell from forever into mortal hands. The giant screamed, stomped at his loss. The whirligig like the lamellae of a music box. Falling from seventh heaven alongside the corkscrew tree. Jack, deliriously descending, on his way to visit his procured harp, plucked from the giant’s brother. The fair lass in silver slippers hugs the feather, agrees to kiss Jack’s stupid lips.
8/31/2019
Writing Challenge 4, August 2019 - Six Lines
Sponsor, Dear Heart- Wiishkobi Ode
Useless most times,thats how i feel,worthless,confused not a big deal. Hopless,annoyed,feeling cold in my heart. Not understanding why my world fell apart. We didnt have much but our love kept us whole,why did this happen to us a decade you stole. When i think of this family i still wish was there,im the one that gets burned noone plays fair. Feeling sorry for myself i guess that is true,im alone in these streets,with nothing to loose. Against my own will I had to give in,a looser since birth,theres no way to win. Stressed out,so depressed,could this be my sign,feeling this lost,all alone in this life. Noone to trust,all i ever loved went out the door,paranoia settled in me, god i cant take anymore. Im not needed anymore please take me away, god i beg forgiveness for not wanting to stay. When i needed you then you did not reply,understand this my lord im too weak to try. I once was a mom understand this please, so now i am nothing but only a freak...
On a clear night, I stole the moon
and placed it in a gold locket.
Acting like a wealthy tycoon,
I tucked it into my pocket.
I tried to impress all the girls
with my pretty shiny object.
And yet, unlike a string of pearls
a magical moon was suspect.
It wasn't long before I knew
that it looked better in the sky.
And so, I put it back like new
nonetheless, it was worth a try.
(Quatrain)
6/12/2018
While I wasn't looking, somebody stole my soda.
I quickly learned that it was Jedi Master Yoda.
I walked over to his table and we exchanged words.
I really got mad when that dwarf flipped me a bird.
I beat the hell out of him, whooping him wasn't hard at all.
He tried to use the force but he was no match for me because he's only two feet tall.
Because of our altercation, that Jedi wound up in a lot of pain.
I kicked his green ass and that's why he has to use his cane.
He lost bladder control, the floor was covered with pee.
Yoda learned that it's a very bad idea to steal from me.