Jan Allison Poet Limerick

Notes About The Poem

When She Stole My Thong It Went Very Wrong - Bawdy

My auntie wears 'Bridget Jones' knickers
But last week at tea at the vicars
She’d purloined MY lace thong
It was morally wrong
T’was the cause of very loud snickers

My thong’s wedged between her butt crack
Stuck firmly between front and back
But it’s not a surprise
As it’s not in her size
There’s no room to cut any slack

Aunt waddles around like a duck
Like a chicken she begins to cluck
‘Yes I took her G-string
Get me out of this thing’
Stop gawping, help me get unstuck

The Vicar say’s I’ll get my pliers
On reflection it’s what this requires
The vicar doesn’t shirk
As he gets down to work
But after an hour he tires

My auntie’s visage is not pale
(Her embarrassment is off the scale)
When my G string gets cut
It pings clean off her butt
It’s a shame she’s the tush of a whale!

For a ‘sweet’ friend BB xx

07/22/21

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Jessica Thompson August 18, 2021 at 2:22 PM Hey there Jan was perusing through the top poems and I found this little gem. I found it fun and quirky and I loved it. I hope you are having a good week. Hugs, Jess

Lindsay Laurie August 8, 2021 at 10:49 PM Hello Jan ... I'd pay money to watch the antics in this set of limericks. The vicars next sermon might be interesting - thank you Jan - Lindsay

Indiana Shaw August 3, 2021 at 5:12 AM Ha, ha, ha, O' Lord, the thought . . . : )

Kim Rodrigues July 28, 2021 at 1:15 PM Congrats on POTD! Jan Allison August 1, 2021 at 12:12 PM Thanks Kim:-) hugs Jan xx

John Watt July 27, 2021 at 9:37 PM You never fail to amuse with your poetic wit and bawdy humour (or is it 'body humour'?) Congrats on POTD and hugs from afar ~ John Jan Allison August 1, 2021 at 12:11 PM Thanks John its definitely humoUr as U all need humour in life:-) hugs Jan xx

Connie Marcum Wong July 27, 2021 at 3:15 PM Thank you for the laughter and the smiles Jan. I needed them right now. Congratulations on having this hilarious Limerick honored with potw my friend. xxoo blessing PS this message showed up on Tom’s POTD instead because of Hawaiian time. Jan Allison August 1, 2021 at 12:10 PM Thanks Connie:-) hugs Jan xx

Jennifer Proxenos July 26, 2021 at 11:38 AM Hi Jan, You are gifted, your humour is incredible - how many ladies try to get into a thong who literally just roll in their blubber, but worse still is a very fat man who sits in a speedo and it disappears! Were acquainted with this couple as they were neighbours. One day they invited us round for lunch and he unashamedly pranced, rather drooped and draped about in his speedo by their pool - He died about ten years later. At his funeral, wondered how he could fit into a coffin! Hugs, Jenn. Jan Allison July 26, 2021 at 12:04 PM oh gosh Jennifer that must have been an awful sight lol - I am definitely more for comfort than try and wear a cheese wire lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Delice Arleen Skelly July 26, 2021 at 1:28 AM Back to say congratulations, well-deserved honour for cheering us up with your marvellous sense of humour...Delice Jan Allison July 26, 2021 at 1:34 AM Thanks Delice, I am not everyone's cup of tea with my humour BUT from the comments I've received and getting POTD I must be doing something right!:-) hugs Jan xx

Rama Balasubramanian July 26, 2021 at 1:19 AM Thanks Jan for your reply to my blog comments. Tiredness for 1.5 months with body pain. Was scared of second dose. Now feel more comfortable Jan Allison July 26, 2021 at 1:33 AM Yes I had tiredness for about 6 weeks, the first week it was extreme but I was totally fine after the second dose! hugs jan xx

Maureen McGreavy Pigeon Tart July 25, 2021 at 10:59 PM Giggles Galore! Congratulations on POTD Jan! xomo Jan Allison July 26, 2021 at 1:35 AM Thanks MO:-) hugs Jan xx

Alexis Y. July 25, 2021 at 6:15 PM Hi Jan, I'm just coming back to say congratulations on getting the poem of the day. It was well deserved:-) Alexis Jan Allison July 26, 2021 at 1:35 AM Thanks Alexis:-) hugs Jan xx

Ann Peck July 25, 2021 at 1:41 PM HaHaHa! Very funny poem. What inspired you, I wonder :) Congratulations on POTD.8S4 Jan Allison July 25, 2021 at 4:23 PM No Idea where the inspiration came from lol i get theses silly ideas and run with them:-) hugs Jan xx

Marilene Evans July 25, 2021 at 12:39 PM Congrats on POTD. You're such a Bawdy writer. Hugs, Marilene. Jan Allison July 25, 2021 at 4:22 PM lol thanks Marilene if my poem is ribald then I put it in the title so people know in advance it may be a little risque:-) hugs jan xx

Eve Roper July 25, 2021 at 11:39 AM So funny :) Congratulations on POTD. Hugs Eve Jan Allison July 25, 2021 at 4:21 PM Thanks Eve:-) hugs Jan xx

Richard Lamoureux July 25, 2021 at 10:44 AM So much fun, congrats on POTD Jan. Hugs Rick. Jan Allison July 25, 2021 at 10:59 AM Thanks so much Rick:-) hugs Jan xx

L Milton Hankins July 25, 2021 at 10:43 AM My utmost congratulations for the honor you have received for this set of marvelous limericks. I hope everyone will see that bawdy limericks have an honorable place in poetic literature. CONGRATULATIONS! Jan Allison July 25, 2021 at 10:59 AM Well said Milton and despite some negativity from some on soup I will never stop writing the form and from the huge amount of comments its evident others enjoy a giggle:-) hugs Jan xx

Tania Kitchin July 25, 2021 at 10:03 AM Jan, congratulations on POTD, a well deserving one with your hilarious and superb limericks! hugs Jan Allison July 25, 2021 at 10:56 AM Thanks Tania, I think its my best of the year:-) hugs Jan xx

Kim Merryman July 25, 2021 at 7:59 AM Back to congratulate you for POTD, Jan! Blessings, Kim M Jan Allison July 25, 2021 at 10:55 AM Thanks Kim:-) hugs Jan xx

Paula Goldsmith July 25, 2021 at 7:37 AM Congratulations on your POTD win. What a cute/funny write. Thanks for the laugh. I needed that. Great Job. Have a blessed day................. Jan Allison July 25, 2021 at 10:55 AM Thanks Paula:-) hugs Jan xx

Constance La France July 25, 2021 at 7:29 AM Jan, you are so talented at writing limericks and I enjoyed this one very much ! Congratulations on receiving POEM OF THE DAY enjoy the honor ~ love and serenity _Constance Jan Allison July 25, 2021 at 10:54 AM I think I have found my forte in humour as you have in your melancholy style:-) hugs jan xx

Heidi Sands July 25, 2021 at 7:00 AM LOL! Very funny Jan! Congratulations for POTD and thanks for the laugh :) Jan Allison July 25, 2021 at 10:54 AM Thanks Heidi:-) hugs Jan xx

Terry Flood July 25, 2021 at 6:49 AM Many congrats (albeit a tad belated) on your POTD with this fun tale, which sadly I’d missed until today. Note to self... must pay more attention ;-) Terry Terry Flood July 25, 2021 at 3:50 PM Duh! I said I was late because I thought today was tomorrow (say what?). Tis oft said that I don’t even know what day it is. ;-) Terry Jan Allison July 25, 2021 at 10:53 AM Thanks Terry there is always room for fun on soup and i love the fact so many others embrace the limerick form!:-) hugs Jan xx

Mike Gentile July 25, 2021 at 6:14 AM OMG, the visuals are ripe for a TikTok video!!! I needed this today, Jan, Well Done, one of your best! Congratulations on POTD!!!! Jan Allison July 25, 2021 at 10:53 AM Glad I made you smile Mike:-) :-) hugs Jan xx

Mark Koplin July 25, 2021 at 5:52 AM Congrats on potd!!! Another one worthy of the kings court Jan Allison July 25, 2021 at 10:52 AM Thanks Mark:-) hugs Jan xx

Regina Mcintosh July 25, 2021 at 5:32 AM This is so hilarious. I don't know how you come up with this stuff :) Congrats on POTD. Love, Gina Jan Allison July 25, 2021 at 10:52 AM Thanks Regina I have no idea myself but I just get these silly ideas:-) hugs Jan xx

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