Best Remover Poems
When you pack my luggage but won't pack my lunch
When you lock me out I get a hunch
When you put thumb tacks on the bathroom floor
I get the feeling you don't love me no more
I found hair remover in my can of Rogaine
The nail in my car seat caused me so much pain
When you microwave my favorite CD
I get the feeling you don't care for me
When you toss a salad but it's at my head
When you squeeze my neck until my face turns red
Then keep on squeezing until the red turns blue
I get the feeling that you think we're through
When you let the dog shred my brand new shoes
When you put a laxative in my jar of booze
When you say your nightmare began the day we met
I get the feeling that you are upset
When you cut off the arms on my overcoat
And try to put a rope around my throat
Then mix Ben Gay with my jock itch cream
I get the feeling you like to see me scream
When you lean an axe against the bedroom wall
And start putting needles in a voodoo doll
Then pull a knife and say come on let's play
I get the feeling I should go away
Categories:
remover, funny, me, me,
Form:
Rhyme
Something happened and my son is pissed.
He found out that he's on Santa's naughty list.
But he's not only on that list this year, he's on it permanently.
When I tell you why he's been banned, it will be clear to see.
My son put hair remover in my shampoo.
And when I sat in my chair, I sat on super glue.
Thinking about what he'll do next, fills me with dread.
Yesterday, the brat put a live rattlesnake in his sister's bed.
He sold all of my clothes and bought an XBOX One.
Now I have to go out in public in my underwear because of my stupid son.
He spiked his mother's coffee and when she drove to work, she was drunk.
My son is on Santa's naughty list forever because he's nothing but a punk.
Categories:
remover, christmas, funny, humor, humorous,
Form:
Rhyme
American green
The tree of life gave birth to a nation and these men who helped nature
shape it. The father of our Country George Washington the 1st President.
There is Thomas Jefferson author of the Declaration of Independence.
There's ol' Abraham Lincoln issuing the Emancipation Proclamation
he enforced, and Alexander Hamilton the first Secretary of Treasury
and most famous dueler of course. What about Andrew Jackson the Indian
remover and election winner but loser, or Ulysses S. Grant victorious Union
General, boring President. Next is William McKinley Spanish-American War
winner and assassination receiver. Don't forget Grover Cleveland only man to
be elected president, then lose, then get elected again. Our third President
James Madison who fathered our Constitution and a guy named Salmon Chase
but ambition killed him. Last on this list Mr. Woodrow Wilson who brought us into
and out of World War I, that was fun...Do you yet see these men's commonality?
They are the faces of our wealth for they are all money green...
Categories:
remover, america, money,
Form:
Free verse
Jump Start (( collaboration * SUSAN BURCH ))
by~ Poet D:
How did it come to this?
You and me down memory bliss..
Some where in between losing my self ..
I misplaced the dust remover off my shelf..
Now I will march on like a cheerful parade..
Smiling my big pearly whites, as you begin to fade...
I disguised the use, when you called me a broken down car..
Adjusting all the plugs under my hood, I reached in to far...
.
I touched and fondled every mound and tendency inside of me..
All my heart needed, was a bran new battery..
I found my own cure, reviving my broken heart disease..
Blocking the sunburn from jumping of my heart like a trapeze..
I got rocks stored in my pocket, that came with a guarantee..
Sustaining weight on my weakened knees, reassuring me warranty
***by~ SUSAN BURCH
That I will get through this, without you to drive
I have a map of the world, traced on my thighs…
You may have held the moon, but not anymore
There are millions of galaxies for me to explore …
Once I face the dark and horrible truth
That I didn’t like who I was, with you…
That’s why I shouldn’t be starving, for your attention
When all you gave me, were paltry inventions…
Instead I’ll wave bye, at my shriveled heart’s cost
And immediately stop sniffing, our love’s exhaust…
In time you’ll be nothing but a tumbleweed
A random thought I won’t even keep…
When I’m fully restored, you’ll be left in the dust
And I’ll be stronger than I ever was …
A Collaboration *Susan Burch
~MY COLLABORATION CONTEST~
Categories:
remover, girlfriend-boyfriend, lost loveme, heart,
Form:
Couplet
Subtraction
If you subtract your bad self,
In every way, every part as best you can,
Then you’ll find better health,
And other people won’t suffer a ban.
You will add something onto,
Your character if you resolutely control,
Your ego, there’ll be binary two,
As a friendship bond will fill your bowl.
Fractions are always negative,
When you are the irrational number,
‘Cos you vector line affirmative,
Has malfunctioned and objects thunder.
The matrix lain out, pure physical,
Is real and determines all your decimals,
But a point that’s not whimsical,
Can be proven by algebraic relationals.
You need to duly remember,
Not to mess with your quantities or mix,
Your subtrahend remover,
Is not space for glee, and not your bricks.
The difference made, ensuing,
From putting your vectors back in line,
Can give the segment pursuing:
That life building on your minuend divine.
Events cumulate into war zones,
And you can’t take back your cruel words,
So just inverse your ring tones,
To add affection to your partial bon accords.
Your integer rhymes in reason,
When the natural is plainly detected,
So when you offer treason,
Just order on, your associations respected.
Categories:
remover, change, character, courage, friendship,
Form:
Quatrain
Between Sundays and the week to come,
it’s Thursday wondering where the days have gone.
The flow of tick tocking the passing through,
when the rushing of the important is to pursue.
Days just disappear to wondering grieve,
while nights to sleep are to short to believe.
Moon tides smile growing full of restless sleep,
when that exhaustion only ask for that deep.
The tragedy about time that just perish,
when we cannot get hold of the now to cherish.
Taking life by the day that forever last,
so that we can celebrate it with a blast.
No more promises for tomorrow as hope,
and yesterdays regret a habit interlope.
Thursdays from Latin is Jovis related to Jupiter,
called the remover of all obstacles for the better.
Then as we know everything can happen,
on Thursdays even when you don’t know Latin.
Categories:
remover, humanity, humorous, meaningful,
Form:
Ballad
alone inside with me, less than inspirational
so look out for the more interesting folk
momentary excitement, the fiery motivational
beyond the familiar, to stoke and provoke
daydream departure from mundane conversational
adventures cocooned in my warm cosy cloak
cool charismatic characters, charming skills to admire
the wily wheelers, the dubious dealers
the mighty movers, the shuffling shakers, to these I aspire
delvers of science, the body-mind healers
frisky purveyors of seduction spray fuel to the fire
risky game chancers, the common sense stealers
suspenders of disbelief, poetic weavers of word
jovial jugglers of juxtaposition
addicted acquisitors, spinners shifting the absurd
fabulous fakers, deceptive magician
image presenters, dark or backlit, focused or blurred
sculptors of form, instrumental musician
composers of melody, glorious singers of song
whatever the stage, great performers of art
athletic achievers stretching stubbornly strong
rhythmic dynamo dancers moving close or apart
food-feeding salivators, their tasty pleasures prolong
delightful set dishes or delicious a la carte
whether imbibed on its own or in good company enjoyed
the brewer, the vintner, the masters of malt
innovative designers, architects of structure and void
the philosopher's stone, comfort-zone assault
insightful free thinkers, long-held paradigms destroyed
tall storytelling teachers without fear of fault
mathematical manipulators of numbers and code
quantum diving or high-flying to the stars
engineering fabricators, tunnel, bridge, rail and road
crazy drivers and loop-turning avatars
tinkering technicians, ecologists with wisdom bestowed
planners of protest, the remover of scars
inspirational givers, those with just the skill of their bent
empathy crossing over to be by your side
the meek, the afflicted, those who can ill-afford the rent
the refugee fleer from our wars worldwide
safety seekers, brave rational people with lives to augment
as we build indifferent walls... hope denied!
Categories:
remover, character, inspirational, life, motivation,
Form:
Verse
William Shakespeare is my favourate poet!
It does not need a thousand poems, dear,
to prove that William Shakespeare
is a scintillating poet, nor does it require
him to write so many sonnets or tire
His ambidextrous pen and his gifted wrist
writing romantic ballads with a twist
in the end – his poems vivifies the air,
especially when his poetry is about despair.
William Shakespeare is my favourate poet of all days;
I like how he writes, his styles and his ways;
his poems written with words embellished,
with his thoughts and his ideas dearly wished –
His imagery is pure, his emotions are raw,
a tale of poems that always make my day so braw;
as fair enough twice the generosity of the sea,
Sterling I say, to make him my favourate poet be;
From how he wrote ‘Shall I compare thee. . .’
To how he structured his poem ‘Soliloquy’,
And won people’s hearts with ‘Let me not to the marriage of True minds’,
When he said, I quote: ‘Which alters when alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove. Oh no!’
William Shakespeare, this poet was such a pro –
He owed the world definitions of his words of charm,
which always but so puzzled the mind though meant no harm.
His antique English inspired and fascinated me to read his work,
His sonnets, full of metaphors and similes that evermore but had his back –
Tell you what, no poet can write close to how Shakespeare ever wrote,
For the master of poetry ever lived and died, and vanished with a quote.
That is, inter alia, why William Shakespeare is my favourate poet!
Categories:
remover, inspiration,
Form:
For five long days I’ve been snowbound.
My home with blanket pulled around
Is quiet as the distant hill
That nestles in its white surround.
My world so very still.
No small birds trill to break the spell.
All vanquished with the flakes that fell.
Electric voice immobilized,
Marooned in solitary cell,
My world strangely disguised.
No noisome birdsong to intrude
On absolute of quietude.
No foot on yielding snow has trod.
Suspended in rare interlude
Alone, alone with God.
The snow remover coming through,
The telephone and power crew.
Although their efforts I applaud
I miss the peaceful time I knew
Alone, alone with God.
By: Joyce 12/30/02 We all won first in this one.
Categories:
remover, faith, natureworld, snow, snow,
Form:
Rhyme
i am reminded of my mother's advice
find a woman with God dearest in her heart
be grateful if she comes to love you
sit at His feet therein and blessings be yours
i am again lost in photos of you
when life held you in precious moments
those perennials you so loved
each as knight errant before your roses
lost in hues from rose, lavender, and blue
butterflies appearing
as they eagerly searched for their drams
wings of white, yellow, and orange
your marrow fills me
now a longing held within
times when i hunger to approach that Throne
upon supplicant knees
offer every blessing life has given
for simply one more moment
in your arms
OKC 5/22
“Love is not love which alters it when alteration finds or bends with the remover to remove: O no! It is an ever-fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken; it is the star to every wandering bark whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken." William Shakespeare
Categories:
remover, death, devotion, emotions, feelings,
Form:
Romanticism
We have a hedgehog in the garden
Whose feels that spring is in the air
Making one hell of a noise
Hoping a mate will care
Think he is getting frustrated
Cos no answer call he hears
Round and round he shuffles
Hope he doesn’t spear
His manhood on those spikes of his
That would be a sin
Especially as he’s in love with my boot remover
That looks like him
He has been making advances
Well in fact I’ts more than that
Don’t think it’s scratched his itches though
Cos now he is looking at the cat.
Hope this ditty makes you smile
Cos a smile is better than a pill
But a down right belly laugh
Is the best medicine of all
Categories:
remover, funny,
Form:
Light Verse
My Guardian Angels
4/2013
Tattooed Angels
Enshrine my body,
Protectors of what's right,
forever vigilant
All day and all through the night!
Ganesh, Hindu Elephant God,
Loyal son of Shiva and Parvati
Embodiment of selfless devotion/remover of obstacles
Provider of strength and honesty
The winged Sufi Heart
Coupled with the holiest name, ????
A constant reminder of Who I really Am,
And from whence I came!
Phoenix, symbol of rebirth
Arise from the fires of hell
To reclaim thy rightful place,
On the throne from which I fell
Oh Great Buddha
Bodhisattva, the compassionate one,
Exorcize my demons, my suffering,
Sitting beneath the Bodhi Tree, thy will be done
Om Mani Padme Hum
Adorns my left arm
Beneath the Double Dorje, Dharma Wheel,
Stating "Life just IS" It is the magical charm
Peace symbol amidst Growing Vines,
a life long bond of daughter and Dad,
Symbolic of ever growing and expanding love
Alive, vibrant, political, for this I'm am forever glad
Celtic Tree of Life, Sustainer of beauty and grace,
making connections with all that is alive,
Encompassing the dark and the light
Enclosed in a circle of wholeness, where all life does thrive
Ouroboros, snake eating it's own tail,
Symbol of completion, of that which is whole,
encompassing both the tree of peace, and the Celtic tree of life
The snake forms the sign of infinity, opening the way for the SOUL!
Shekinah, Quan Yin, Gaia, Great Goddess,
Resting in a Pyramid of Power
She is our foundation,
so necessary by which to scale the tower
We find the ancient holiest of names,
Emblazoned in a ring of fire
forbidden to be spoken or written
with the promise to take you higher!
A beating heart, Star of David, and Om,
Union of opposites and the universal sound
Life, Compassion, Peace, & Love,
The Divine presence is all around!
My Angels, guardians of body & soul
Artistic symbols of love & hope
Battling a debilitating disease
Giving me the will and strength to cope
Categories:
remover, daughter, father daughter, imagery,
Form:
Rhyme
How did it come to this?
You and me down memory bliss…
Somewhere in between losing myself …
I misplaced the dust remover off my shelf…
Now I’ll march on, like a cheerful parade…
Smiling my big pearly whites, as you begin to fade...
I disguised the use, when you called me a broken down car…
Adjusting all the plugs under my hood, I reached in too far...
I touched and fondled every mound and tendency inside of me…
All my heart needed, was a brand new battery…
I found my own cure, reviving my broken heart disease…
Blocking the sunburn from jumping, on my heart, like a trapeze…
I got rocks stored in my pocket, that came with a guarantee…
Sustaining weight on my weakened knees, reassuring me warranty…
That I will get through this, without you to drive…
I have a map of the world, traced on my thighs…
You may have held the moon, but not anymore…
There are millions of galaxies for me to explore …
Once I face the dark and horrible truth…
That I didn’t like who I was, with you…
That’s why I shouldn’t be starving, for your attention…
When all you gave me, were paltry inventions…
Instead I’ll wave bye, at my shriveled heart’s cost…
And immediately stop sniffing, our love’s exhaust…
In time you’ll be nothing but a tumbleweed …
A random thought I won’t even keep…
When I’m fully restored, you’ll be left in the dust…
And I’ll be stronger than I ever was
Categories:
remover, hope, introspection, life, nostalgia,
Form:
Couplet
Evergreen wreath encircled beauty
Beauty adorned with berries and ribbon
Ribbon of gold or reddish hues
Reddish hues like the blood of Jesus shed
Shed for eternal life to give
Giver of the holy spirit and remover of our sins
Encircled beauty adorn my heart's door
Categories:
remover, holiday
Form:
Free verse
This thing cuts the hair that’s inside my nose
On a triple-A battery it goes
Just one thing I ask of thee:
You must use it carefully
I took it a bit too far, and it shows!
For Carolyn Devonshire's contest
Categories:
remover, funny, life, parody,
Form:
Limerick