Best Off Road Poems
This morning I went for a country stroll
Saw greenery of summer at its best
But off road walking had taken its toll
So the next stop was an Inn for a rest .
Ploughman's I ordered with a pint of beer
I took a seat and watched folk come and go
The sounds of banter and talk I could hear
Background music playing easy and slow.
I finished lunch and left by the main door
A shame to leave such merriment behind
And tempted I was to just have one more
But the home journey I still had to find.
I looked at my map then got on my way
Making the most of this warm summer day.
Written 20th July 2019.
(A ploughman's lunch is an English cold meal of bread, cheese, onions and meat, usually accompanied by butter and pickles. As its name suggests, it is most commonly eaten at lunchtime, is particularly associated with pubs, and often accompanied with beer.)
(The Cotswolds is an area in south central and south west England comprising the Cotswold Hills, a range of rolling hills that rise from the meadows of the upper Thames to an escarpment, known as the Cotswold Edge, above the Severn Valley and Evesham Vale. The area is defined by the bedrock of Jurassic limestone that creates a type of grassland habitat rare in the UK and that is quarried for the golden-coloured Cotswold stone. It contains unique features derived from the use of this mineral; the predominantly rural landscape contains stone-built villages, historical towns and stately homes and gardens.
Source - Wikpedia.com
Covid spread throughout the kingdom –
the people inside the elite compounds,
if they heard the many sounds of the
ill falling dead, did not seem troubled,
not a single head – besides, it was, for
them a special day, 60th birthday of
their consecrated God and his Queen,
to whom all will homage pay –
Politicians and Hollywood celebs alike
will take numbered turn fawning accolades
at the podium mike. Tables strategically set,
armed security carefully to vet every
privileged guest before passing the Walled
Castle-door, so not to allow Covid
to take flight and soar, spreading deadly
spore through the air – over His Majesty's
Red-carpet-floor...
There are plates with gold trim, not the
painted kind – of Twenty-four Karat as their
goblets of wine, precious silver from royal
chambers, billionaire vaults, brimming over
with champagne from prized cellars, vintage
of all sorts, tribute paid by appeasing, complicit
European Courts, with thousand dollar a-bottle
highly acclaimed ports. There will be classical
music combined with White Shaming Hip Hop Rap –
diamonds and precious other gems abundantly given
for gifts, the nation having been well sapped,
American's Treasury criminally tapped,
for the king and queen's off-road treats – while
theft and murder rages in the commoner's streets –
shortages developing to the point masses of
people will soon have little food to break-bread
and manage – to the ruling devils, simply
collateral damage....
CAR COURT
Enter, the older heavyweight steel giant,
The bailiff, a 1954 Hudson, reads unhesitant :
On the docket for this morning : guilty by implication - a Trabant,
In close custody with a Cutlass Supreme for supervision.
Next on the docket: a Pinto for likely gas-tank explosion.
Third on the docket: an English-made car (any marque) - body corrosion.
Lawyer for the prosecution, a pretentious character, a gas guzzler SUV
4x4 off-road with winch - for Saturday use on driveway only -
Hangs out with Vettes; and uses NO2 in fuel. Who?Drugs? Not me!
Downbeat guy as the defence counsel , a solid no nonsense Hummer,
A real enviro-bummer,
Klutzy ugly and personality like a mack truck in summer.
Trabant coughed its way to the stand.
Clerk of court Volkswagen, order in hand,
Read the indictment quietly, efficiently, bland.
Prosecution began with noisy opening musical-horn tunelets
The jury, all serious-minded stolid Volvos and Toyota Starlets
Were not impressed. Hummer clumsily interrupted with an objection, “Let’s
Stop, on the grounds of precedent,” but at this point Pinto reversed,
Crushed its trunk and its gas-tank exploded, and worst ,
Hit the the English car : and into flames they both burst.
Cutlass argued with the SUV, which was winched away pending sentence.
Case against the English car dismissed from lack of evidence.
Trabant was deported back to Germany: no import licence
Overseeing all these proceedings : the ever-reliable, I-won’t-budge,
The I-have-a-spotless-reputation, I-hold-no-grudge,
The mechanical virgin, the silent Rolls Royce as judge.
...........................................................................................................
I look to the sky and ask,
Can he help find my way?
I've been wondering through this darkness
And still haven't found the light of day.
Struggle after struggle
I'm trying to find my way.
Time after time
I'm clinging to that little bit of faith.
Physically, spiritually, and emotionally drained
Venturing through this storm
But I can stand the rain.
No angels on my shoulders,
It's just demons now.
Fighting for first,
Never know which one is leaking out.
I try to stay positive,
Be optimistic about things.
Then turn to a pessimist,
That's a depressing change.
My mind goes insane,
I can't stay in one lane.
Veering off-road,
So my paths are never the same.
Many things I've seen,
Every memory is a movie scene.
Many are great, but has a fuzzy screen,
Bad shows up clear as day, it will make you scream.
Nightmares keep taking my breath away,
I can feel it in my chest.
Dying multiple times,
But wake up with cold sweats.
I lay here and look up,
I ask why me?
Why put me through the fire,
But have me cold as an ice rink?
Many things inside that I want to question,
Hard to pour out,
I have introverted aggression.
They say send your prayers to god,
Sometimes I feel like I have to leave him a message.
I ask again,
can he help find my way?
I'm fighting for my dreams,
I'm going through wars to be king some day.
Even though this road I'm taking,
May not get me there right away.
I still cling to that little of hope,
That I won't let my faith die away.
This is my dedication
I am legend, so just push the start
I will save your family, so just call me Noah's ark
A pause on time as they show gratitude to the craftsmanship
1970 they created me, randomly introduced companionship
I transported the elite, by the way I still do
Range Rover was the name they gave me, so I said I do
It's been 44 years, V-6 or V-8, it maintains the same philosophy
I personify admiration; we read while it's in motion your Autobiography
Oh I forgot, HSE and Supercharged are other alternatives to what you can call me
Each with its legendary design and trim, okay enough about me
I send this invitation to honour me by occupying the rear seats
Yes, the Executive-class individual rear seating, those seats
Offering grand motoring while you show off your wealth
Those who pursue me grasp my worth
My capabilities engraved and stamped off-road
I reign supreme as they make way for me on the road
Take a bet; you can't go wrong with the horse power I possess
6 or 8 speed with pedal shifters, I ask you to regress
Allow me to grace your eardrums with the Meridian sound system
View what lacks around you with a surround camera system
I represent the fourth generation but my history remains intact
I had a conversation with my sister earlier, Evoque, she's compact
We agreed that we are timeless, absolutely classical
Should we pass on, our images are imprinted, just absolutely magical
My wife went shopping yesterday
Posted missing what do the police say
Her weight color and eyes
Please tell me he cries
I need to know for the missing's display
Hey dude can you help me a little more
I know the more you tell hurts you sore
Was she slim was she fat
As a matter of fact
For this loss I'm feeling you adore
What kind of car was she in when she went
Did you own or was it a rent
C'mon, don't be a schmuck
She stole my lovely truck
Charge her for this felony dissent
Hey dude, we apologise for this run of luck
Describe her, for your so out of luck
"Brand new Stealth Black 2015 Ford F150 Raptor
4x4 with eco-boost 5.4L V8 engine special
ordered with manual transmission. Black ARC
bullbar with winch and LED driving lights.
Rock sliders and snorkel. It has custom matching
black canopy over the truck bed.
Hayman Reece towing package. I added a 4"
lift kit with stealth black special alloy wheels and 3.5"
off-road Mickey Thompsons. Custom leather seats
and RM Williams floor mats. DVD with HEMA
navigation system, 21 channel CB Radio,
six cup holders and four power outlets.
She even scratched the door, as he fills up,,,,
Don't worry buddy, we'll soon find your truck
.
Another request to Limerick another Joke.
A little different from the norm, but who gives a truck ;-)
My love cars
My first rendezvous
was Honda Civic iVtec
black automatic,
1799 cc, 4 cylinders
130 bhp, torque 172Nm,
Stole my heart
speed bound no limits,
Left me for a new owner.
Shunning loneliness,
Magnetised by
his macho shape
and pearl white colour,
Graceful eye to eye
luxurious costume,
I let his lusty belt
embrace my waist,
One button start
and we were together
Adrenaline gush
to a four by four,
Off road
over tough terrain
wondered his guts....
2800 cc, 4 cylinders
178 bhp, torque 350Nm,
Pajero Mitsubishi
my passion SUV.
Five years later
as it betrayed,
My heart cried
Grief of parting .....
Toyota Fortuner
my next fortune,
D- 4D, inter cooler
Turbocharger 2982 cc
168 bhp, Torque 343 Nm
Walked into my life
tough milky white,
Hugged me dear
wiped my tears,
My next love
its exquisite walk,
I try to escape those
Green eyed monsters
those road runners....
One Land Rover
Range Rover evoque
is now eying at me,
Waiting for
another heartbreak....
Written Dec 30th, 2015
For contest "Write about cars"
Sponsor - PD A
Awarded 10th place win
Pardon my condor sensitivity,
but can I be
dead serious candid with you
Everybody look down on me,
and talk mean about me
But, in the future, they’re gonna need me
even nuclear more
I’m nature’s finest,
best garbage collector
My critter pals,
when they get their fill of wilderness lost you
They say to me: pick up the trash, will you please,
when we’re through
So I do what I do best ...
I pick the bones clean, rotting flesh and all
I devour the things other animals
don’t got the stomach for
Circling up above,
my telescopic olfactory senses
are searching downwind
I see some fool lost drug mules
thirstily water struggling in the wilderness
They’re slowly dying ... disoriented
since wandering out of the way
Now unbeknownst to them,
the desert will be their last score grave
Once they’re dead and baked,
I’m gon have me a good cadaver brownie cake
Those stashed hash mules done football kicked me good,
‘cause I’m flying high ... higher than before
Man, what an extra-point desert score!
After that sickly sweet rancid taste of victory,
I hear my coyote friends give a howl alert:
pick-up on
Death Valley off road tourist route,
cavern aisle four
But it’s too early for a lunch break,
way too rigor mortis early for me to be eating fresh meat
That poor adventurous soul was compass challenged,
and got sextant separated from the tour group
And he just pauper purchased an early expiration date,
but some things I just can’t bring myself to eat —
I hate fresh meat!
As for now, I’m waiting patiently,
perched on a craggy, desert mountain outcrop
Waiting hungrily ...
for that Big Mushroom feast in the sky
Until that special day arrive,
it’s the same ol’ mundane work routine
Garbage carcase collecting is a thankless job,
but somebody gotta do it ... ain’t that right?
Excuse me, Ms. Mountain Lioness,
can you hand me a rib cage toothpick
from that dead prairie dog
Just give me a cleanup call
when you’re through with the rest of it
Holiday’s Roadside Wreckage
by Odin Roark
To live as you’re not
To be who society massages you into being
To succumb to counterfeit identity
Is to skid into mere roadside wreckage.
We pass such rubble all the time
The defective and or mismatched parts of authenticity
Merging with Nature’s roadkill
Decorated by gum wrappers
Festooned by beer cans.
Sadly…
Few anticipate the accident,
The head-on collision with reality,
Where darkness and tears
Become the black ice of misfortune.
Still…
Some will slow down enough to see when they look,
Realize that reason and logic’s purpose
Is to reveal the highway shoulders and ditches’ necessity,
Irony’s off-road demise for make-believers
Careening unconscious down life’s highway.
Roadside wreckage…
Unrewarding scenery made repetitively prophetic
Until we take the time to recognize and live compatibly
With who we really are.
Riding across the country with my best friend,
Off road trails then back on pavement again.
Always loving the wind blowing through our hair,
Doing as we wish without a worry or a care.
The sun comes up and then quickly goes down,
Rarely finding the time to even look around.
If we should blink our eyes for a tad too long,
Perhaps... tis a delightful case of directions gone wrong.
Contest~Kim Merryman~ROAD TRIP
"Last Text"
communication
old school talking eye to eye
true multi tasking
texting and driving
illegal and just plain dumb
high tech ignorance
final services
took eyes off road for a sec
no more text and drive
*A true saying....."If one thinks an education is expensive, try ignorance!"*
WTA-IV 4/30/2016
We had to rent a car one Christmas trip, a horror show.
Returning home, we slid off road into the blinding snow.
We got a lift to a motel, but then our car got towed.
That hellish Christmas, not so hot, for us was freezing cold.
Written Nov. 23, 2015 by Andrea Dietrich for a CHristmas Memory Contest of Broken Wings.
An Airline International KLM,
Heavily landed
With heavyweight dead body
Belongs to Professor KLM,
Before it was off loaded
Into his Black Mercedes Off-road
In a rush
To the bush
To be buried in the village
Where he left since his teenage,
To be buried by same relatives,
Whom he treated as slaves
And same villagers,
Whom he treated as beggars.
This Professor of Mathematics
And Economics
Who wrote several proposals
For his villagers
To be poorer
Is buried near his leaning roof
Which is ten times and half,
Worse
Than the village chairman’s house.
Which plant
Do you think we would plant?
On top of his grave
While he doesn’t deserve
To rest under the shade of plants
For sweet fruits!
To hell!
Lush greenery
Majestic scenery
Coconut trees wave in a track
Puff of clouds wave back
Droplets of rains
Fall again & again
Splash soggy ground
Bringing greenery all around
Village path air is so fresh
Heveanly to be here in flesh
Afar at a distance
Looks like timeless existance
Between hills a chimneys rising smoke
As we ride our cycles we are greeted by humble folk
Gentle moss lies still
Moulded on the broken door of the old mill
As into the distance we cycle away
From soil laterite to roads ash grey
Its my hope to raise the blooms
And hold this world into greenish rooms
meandering creek reaches conclusion
finds silence and reverence
in shadow of seclusion
subdued light gives deference
off road and traveled way
finds silence and reverence
in shadows secrets stay
as the land knows no time
off road and traveled way
in reflections it finds divine
the creek finds its place
as the land knows no time
moments spent give moments’ grace
time blessed and true
as the creek finds its place
meandering creek reaches its conclusion
subdued light gives deference
in shadows secrets stay
in reflections it finds divine
moments spent give moments’ grace