Car Court

CAR COURT Enter, the older heavyweight steel giant, The bailiff, a 1954 Hudson, reads unhesitant : On the docket for this morning : guilty by implication - a Trabant, In close custody with a Cutlass Supreme for supervision. Next on the docket: a Pinto for likely gas-tank explosion. Third on the docket: an English-made car (any marque) - body corrosion. Lawyer for the prosecution, a pretentious character, a gas guzzler SUV 4x4 off-road with winch - for Saturday use on driveway only - Hangs out with Vettes; and uses NO2 in fuel. Who?Drugs? Not me! Downbeat guy as the defence counsel , a solid no nonsense Hummer, A real enviro-bummer, Klutzy ugly and personality like a mack truck in summer. Trabant coughed its way to the stand. Clerk of court Volkswagen, order in hand, Read the indictment quietly, efficiently, bland. Prosecution began with noisy opening musical-horn tunelets The jury, all serious-minded stolid Volvos and Toyota Starlets Were not impressed. Hummer clumsily interrupted with an objection, “Let’s Stop, on the grounds of precedent,” but at this point Pinto reversed, Crushed its trunk and its gas-tank exploded, and worst , Hit the the English car : and into flames they both burst. Cutlass argued with the SUV, which was winched away pending sentence. Case against the English car dismissed from lack of evidence. Trabant was deported back to Germany: no import licence Overseeing all these proceedings : the ever-reliable, I-won’t-budge, The I-have-a-spotless-reputation, I-hold-no-grudge, The mechanical virgin, the silent Rolls Royce as judge. ...........................................................................................................