Best Mace Poems
The sea gulls down at Barry aren’t your average little pests
They think they own the sea side and the all wear hooded vests
Their beaks are pierced with hoops and studs and drink from cans of bud .
Beady eyes watch picnics
They truly are such thugs
And if you purchase chips from the shop behind the beach
don’t believe you can relax with those tasty scrumptious treats
They’ll watch you exchange money with hungry look upon your face
then hunt you down and rob you with their spray cans full of mace
Dive-bombing little children is their favourite thing to do
then you think they’ve gone but you’d be wrong when they shower you with poo
These antisocial birdies are quite partial to an ale
they really do belong down in Barry Island jail
So be warned these birds are dangerous
Theres no stopping them you know
With their gang tattoos and leathers
Wearing boots with steal capped toes.
You can tell that they mean business and with a welsh sarcastic twang
they bully staff and customers at the local Ice cream van
So pack yourself protection
A helmet and a sword
A shield , a coat of armour
Bring all you can afford
Apart from that it’s glorious
A lovely golden beach
But I wouldn’t risk a smile if you’re wearing your false teeth
My name is Gary Fields
And I am at the Poetry Convention
Their are a myriad of Poet's
They are all in contention
There are so many that I may
Want to mention'
So, pay attention
Fore they must do this
In abstention
At my table there are three
Their are four including me
The second choice in my contention
IS Dr. Ram Mehta
He is such an easy catch
He is a voice/a reflection
He shares' so much love and affection
Being one of so few words
His disposition is the best
And his Human Psyche will
Never rest'
Could this be some sort of test
That his deepest guarded secret's
Are guarded close to his chest
Being a doctor and all
It is unlikely that he will ever confess
Third at the table is the X DESTROYER X POET
Due to the lack of word's
She always' have something for ya
And will certainly destroy ya
If not, then simply ignore ya
Fore she deserves' to seat here
And not just on the foyer
It is a main bone of contention
There is no reason why I can't enjoy ya
Or at least releave the tension
With her advanced degree
her suplituding pensoin for Poetry
It seems' that her messages' are
Aimed straight for me
She give's to this her all
She never seem to miss a call
And to past the test
One may think that
She seem's to be a little obsessed
Most of all
She keeps' her secret
Buried so close to her breast
And what wonderful breast they
Might be
Only saving for us
The one's she profess to be the best
But never the less
She rises' among the rest
Fouth at the table is Ms. Sweetheart of Poetry
Wish she will spend more Poetry with me
And plain not just ignore me
Because I'm a fan of her now
She introduced me to this race
She is all ways' on the case
She is fully comfortable in her space
I just hope that she won't have to use
All of her mace,
She composes' herself with grace
Fore this is so much an adventure
And not just some silly old Snail Race
If I haven't said enough by now
Then it is because I am running
Out of space, or being run out of town
But, there is always one next year
Same time, manybe not
The same old place
GF
Gary Fields
Dr. Ram Mehta
X DESTROYER X POET
LINDA Marie/Sweetheart of Poetry
Carol (Next on Deck)
*******For the Contets "Tt The Convention
JUNE 2011
Watch out for da Boogie Woogie man
he's comin ta get ya if he can
Ooh smooth moves soft lips
he's got dem electric hips
A twirling dynamo who likes ta dip
Ya doze buttons ain't safe
dat bra strap's likely ta rip
Look at da twinkle in is eye
He promises ta make ya fly
Yep just wait, me oh my
he'll lift dat dress so high
Hardly even will he hafta try
he got da moves dat'll make ya sigh
Afterwords you jus be wonderin why
Like I say he da Boogie Woogie man
he's comin ta get ya if he can
Ooh smooth moves soft lips
he's got dem electric hips
Twirling dynamo who likes ta dip
Ya doze buttons ain't safe
dat bra strap's likely ta rip
Ripped bra buttons on da floor
heat's up high but ya want more
He flips ya round four times four
in da shower up against the door
Ya feel da heat deep in yo core
It's like da waves are crashing on da shore
He says "do ya like it dat way whore!"
He makes ya ta feel da shame
So ya run outta his place
lipstick all smeared on yo face
But ya still feel yo heart race
as you clutch dat ripped lace
All yo pleasure gone every trace
if only ya had a can a mace
You warn her about the Boogie Woogie man
"He's coming to get you if he can
Smooth moves soft lips
don't be seduced by those electric hips
That fellow wants to do more than dip
Your buttons aren't going to be safe
that bra strap is likely to rip!"
Of Dandelions and Roses
Among the bricks and stones
dandelions persist, finding
any smallest egress to pop
through.
My Irish Grammie called me
her "Rose so sweet"
Truth is - I am a dandelion
Life tried its best to quell my growth
Circumstances played jacks with my life
Always, some persistent genetic inner seed
grew to maturity and became a will of iron
wielding a mace most fierce
Like a child's paddle ball, I bounced back,
no matter how many smacks came my way
Life paved me over, but, determined,
I broke the pavement again and again
Roses are sweet and elegant and fragile
Dandelions are pugnacious warriors
Rose are clipped and put in pretty vases,
dandelions force themselves toward sunshine
I am a dandelion
I went a searchen for da green eyed monster
Yet da big fella was nowhere in site
They'd said he was really quite fearsum
He'd often appear on a saderday night
I went out wit my little woman
That sweet gal o mine lookin so fine
If ya asked me to give er a ratin
She'd be a ten or at least a nine
Da more dat I got inta ma drinkin
Ma senses dey became super fine
I noticed sum good lookin fella
Eyen dat special woman o mine
The vessels in ma neck started poppin
My eyes began glowin a sickly green
I got up frum ma chair started screamin
Dats right I started makin a scene
Ma little woman she was sum embarrassed
That yung fella smashed me in da face
Tank goodness she came to ma rescue
It's a good ting she had a can a mace
It seems I'd been mad about nutin
Dat young fella had been on a date
Ma wife told me dat I'd bin right silly
She was quite sure dat his date's name was Nate
Tankfully dos green eyes dey turned back ta blue
Da colour now is gone wit out a trace
except for da red and da black an blue
dat now is coverin dis here old face
For Verlena Walker's Green Eyed Monster contest
Dragon found a Fairy Ring and quickly jumped inside! Heaven Forbid!
Dancing round and round, he suddenly disappeared. Yes! He surely did!
As he disappeared I knew that trouble would without doubt, now ensue.
So I blew out my breath, and immediately did the same, I’d seen him do.
As I landed, I followed the mob, knowing Dragon would be in demand.
Sure enough, there he stood with the great sword Excalibur, in his hand.
The future King Arthur was standing empty handed, looking kinda sad.
Merlin, however, not amused, started chasing Dragon and looking mad.
Without Arthur to pull the sword from the stone, Camelot wouldn’t be built.
You might say that Dragon was in deep doo doo, all the way up to the hilt.
Things progressed far worse, as Merlin shot crazy magic at Dragon’s face.
He missed Dragon… leaving ‘Sir Mouse a lot’, in Sir Lancelot’s place.
Dragon dodged a magic bolt, from Merlin, hitting Sir Gwain, like a mace.
Yep, if this kept up, the whole round table was about to end, without a trace.
So I jumped Merlin, bringing him to the ground, as I screamed at Dragon!
Put that blooming sword down!… As in: YEP! BACK IN THE STONE!!!
But by then I was changed to a frog, and a few croaks were the only sounds.
Old England had become the new Mayhem Falls, both alive and now found.
Suddenly, Grandpa Troll appeared, yanking the sword from Dragon’s hand.
Putting it back in the stone, he bowed to Merlin and all of his medieval land.
Next he grabbed Dragon by the ear, and me as I hopped across the ground.
We quickly made an exit… by use of the Fairy Ring, now so very profound.
Camelot’s problems, would no doubt, be from ‘Sir Mouse A Lot’s’ overload.
Imagine what might have been, if we’d never helped see, that day bestowed.
Would the world have been better? Would Camelot have longer survived?
We’ll never know. But the Moral is: Beware of Fairy Rings and Dragons!
For they can bring about the worlds end, as we know it, on any given day!
Camelot had that story put on a Tapestry along with Arthur’s great event.
He dutifully, also, pulled the sword from the stone… Yep… You might say…
For them it had become ‘A Great News Day!’ As I did ribbit and hop away!
Written by Carol Eastman 8-29-2016
Drip drip dribble dribble
google harps- here's a fiddle
How does fuzz evolve to stubble
Here's Fred Flinstone- Barney Rubble
WON 5 DOLLARS!- now I'm even
Online poker- guy named steven
Shop for blankets- buy throw pillows
Google hammock- weeping willows
Go to restroom- better lock it
Here's the key- brains your pocket
Keyboard's pencil- screen's your pad
Don't be a stranger- email dad
SEND to stepmom- SEND to cousin
Be specific- there's a dozen
SEND to grandma in the grave
SEND to bastard uncle - Dave
Where's Japan and where's Korea
Google maps is glad to see ya
Chat with Bennett- bash Obama
Poke your next door neighbors momma
Friend Dee Snyder- Twisted Sister
like a miss - poke your sister
Like a sir - unfriend a mam
Search Hulk Hogan- Uncle Sam
Write your daughters third grade teacher
Bash a priest- praise a preacher
Write your mom a prison letter
You know momma!- probably better
When your hand gets tired of typing Log on Youtube- watch some fighting
UFC- sometimes delightful
This guys girlfreinds being spiteful
Cat's in mirrors- fight their face
See some guy get sprayed with mace
Watch that clip from Tropic Thunder
Rock the Casba- Land down under
Fight the system- Fight the power
Search for bloopers- Austin Powers
Play online and fight for glory
Man this game is too damned gory
Watch the packers play the Bears
COME ON SLACKER!-PASSING WHERE?!!
POKE from brother- INBOX sister
called your phone- you must've missed'er
Supposed to work - be there at eight
It's almost nine- you're pretty late
Get to work- just tell them something
Man what happened?...It was nothing
Some think of me as waste of space -
They cast a glance, then turn to face
the screen. They watch the mighty mace
bring down another one.
Since when, oh ‘savvy’ human race,
was killing sought for fun?
------------------------------------------------
I’ve seen them smile, I’ve seen them tear
I rev their heartbeats as they near
engrossing ends.. as what they fear
does come, I have to beam -
They know my folks they fight and dear -
They are not what they seem!
Some couldn’t care less - They fold and tear my pages,
while others try and save for me their hard-earned daily wages…
Burns Stanza
There just isn't enough febreeze
to rid the room of the haze
Of a dog fart, strong and silent
It kind of puts you in a daze
It kind of sneaks in, then it hits you
An olfactory h-bomb in your face
Meanwhile, he just lies there
He's wiped the room with **** mace
There is no middle ground here
They always smell like something died
Like he caught a squirrel in the garden
Now, it's rotting his insides
Dog farts, are a weapon
That our army has not used
In fact I told them in a letter
In their reply, they were amused
"We've tried to duplicate it"
"A killer weapon... stops the heart"
"But, our scientists just aren't able"
"To reproduce a strong dog fart"
"Thank you for your consideration"
"We'll let you know, if we succeed"
"We agree with your kind letter"
"dog farts escape and then they breed"
Sometimes when a dog farts
It makes a noise, he turns around
"my god, I smell incredible"
is the look comes from my hound
So, if you've never smelled a dog fart
And your dog just sneaks one out
Do yourself a favour
Do not feed him brussel sprouts.
“Precept”
Death’s reign is but a world of carnal minded concepts,
Within which illusions of it own harlot are kept,
As minds counterfeit the Sacred Hearts of the precept,
In containments of worldly forms of the mind’s inept!
My precept withstood this selfish whore’s galore… to the face,
As she sought to hid herself in complexity’s mace,
I gained a new precept face, standing against concept’s disgrace,
As economic whore sought to remove truth by it's fast pace!
Death concepts thereof are conveniences of the mind’s absolve,
As compassions of grace, of brotherly face, are not involved,
Truth is seldom heard in this world of which it’s scribes resolve,
Bribes of scribes, politicians have lied, around this they revolve!
The carnal of mind knows not what they do as death pursues,
The goat will gloat, sheep the mind will not promote...bid adieu,
I’ve stood in the gap of mind’s mishap, the gap(!), I construe!
I’ve stood the test, I've earned Father’s rest, I receive my due!
I bid adieu to the death of the stubborn minds astute,
In heaven’s choir, they will never give Gabriel’s flute.. a toot,
The carnal mind just doesn’t compute...the precept acute,
For higher cosmic affair...holds no flair...for brute's pollute!
THE NEW JERUSALEM
THE FIRST STANZA
Have thou ever seen such a concordance?
A new relation between man and beast
For beyond these hostile hills lies a place where the boisterous Bacchus feast
Imagine the fruits of Adam grow on a common tree
Where all would merry, ebony and ivory
Slave and free
Imagine the seven rivers meet at a widen strait
For today good has triumph over evil
Love burns up hate
The New Jerusalem is not a truce between Zion and Arabia.
Nor is it the fall of another great wall
It is not the end to man’s vicious battles fought with monstrous infernos, sulphur and thunder
But it encompasses all
THE SECOND STANZA
Have thou ever seen such an enterprise?
Where the stars would rejoice
For the lachrymal clouds would start to sing and dance at the slightest hearing of the voice
Oh! Pure ecstasy! Elysium devour me please
For a lamb has made it so
Imagine a land replenished with trees, gardens and lakes
Where untold pearls and diamonds grow
Imagine the Pandora’s box once unlocked now thrown into its abysmal grave
For a thousand pieces of silver, gold and mace
Is no equal to the deeds of the brave
The New Jerusalem is not the new –found romance between Babylonia and the Eagle.
Nor is it the coalescence of Prussia
It is all that is said and will be said
And not the rebirth of Russia
By Akanbi Olusegun
Copyright 2003.
France, fascinating place of beauty and grace overwhelmed by a master and fascist race
with a dagger in one hand and the other, a mace
all who do not succumb to the iron fist
by life’s hand they shall be missed.
France, now a place of shock and fate
twas this mean to be the countries state?
The allies come in green marching band
ready to strike at the fascist hand
to make with us a noble and honoured stand
Hallmark moments:
I like your face
Your flaxen hair
Your remind me of
My old grey mare
You skin is soft
Your eyes are blue
But I hear you wear
A size twelve shoe
I see your mother
In your face
Remind me not
to forget my mace
You are a special
love, my hon
If only you didn't
weigh a ton
You are the fairest
of all maids
Its such a shame
You gave me Aids
Your Gothic look
and tasty lips
Make me want
to bring my whips
You left me on
that April day
I never dreamed
You might be gay
You made me
swoon
You made me sigh
I never thought
you were a guy
After you pass our barbwire gates
Welcome to the United States!
A non-white face
Gets sprayed with Mace
But if you have cash, we'll be mates!
OUR LOVE TURNED COLD
This fluff I pluck,
sew, trim and tuck.
I’m in a rush —
Now, man, do hush!
I’m tired and sick.
So stop it — quick!
Tell me you’ll miss
our time of bliss.
A fish you’ll catch —
our love won’t patch.
To doom your apt.
My mind is zapped.
I’d love to blush —
feel love’s red rush,
the hue of plum.
...I’ll gorge on rum!
O days your quest —
leaned on my breast…
Now, love, I race
to grab the mace.
Oh how we’d spoon
‘neath the blest moon,*
on the pink beach —
stars we can’t reach…
Missed days of sun,
ink from eyes run.
Long lines of prose.
Brrr..cold words froze.
Now we say bye.
Man, don’t you cry!
See, I’ve moved on.
This is no con.
2/1/2018
128 Words Contest
4 - 1 syllable words per line/32 lines
Sponsor: Silent One
*howmanysyllables.com listing this line as 3 syllables but it is 4