Best Looney Poems
Max is mad at Molly
Samantha’s sore at Seth
Freida’s freaking out at Frodo
While Hobbits hold their breath
Jack jokes about poor Jill
She hits him with her pail
Humpty cracks open Dumpty
For drinking all his ale
Mickey Mouse and Minnie
They both make quite a scene
Playful Pluto gave her paw
and stroked her jumping bean
Rub is furious with Dub Dub
She has another man in his tub
His bubble has been bursted
So he scrubs Dub with a club
Cats in cradles cows and moons
Forks running away with spoons
Coyote catches the Road Runner
In the end we’re all Looney Tunes
Nothing makes us happy
Sticks and stones me oh my
Kryptonic grade destruction
Broken Superman can’t fly
The Beatles Battled Yoko Ono
Because she broke up the band
They sang ‘Give Peace a Chance”
a dream they didn’t understand
So I walk down to the River
John the Baptist please begin
Separate me from human nature
Cause I’m tired of our sin
Wile E. Coyote
would wear Acme “floatie”
wings so he could swoop from mountain bluffs,
but always crashed below to silent puffs.
The Road Runner,
like a tail gunner,
would down Wile E. into the deep
valley floor with his trademark “meep meep!”
September 5, 2021
Cleritoons Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Joseph May
Donald Trump just loves to tell "jokes"
Like, "COVID-19 is an hoax!"
When somebody dies
He tweets, "Its all lies!"
Trump ought to sign off, "That's All, Folks!"
Me and you
And the rest of the crew
Spinning through space
On a looney balloon
Filled to the brim
With the hot air of man
Knots and screws coming loose
Out on the fringe
Without a clue
Of who let us loose
Busting a move
On this looney balloon
As we flip and we fly
Slide side to side
This way and that
All along for the ride
Ashes to ashes
Space dust to dust
How much is enough
Before this thing busts
If not now
I'm pretty sure soon
Putting an end to
This looney balloon
There once was an off-key raccoon
Joined a feat and barked out of tune,
Since he groaned aloud
The pissed judges cowed
As he won to shut off this loon!
Limerick Contest
Sponsor: Jan Allison
12/26/2015
A player whose name rhymes with Clooney
Got drunk and then drove - what a loony
Spent the night locked in jail
When released he looked pale
The outlook for him may be gloomy
He’ll get whacked with an enormous fine
But his club won't force him to resign
It would make much more sense
losing his road licence
and he stops drinking lager and wine!
Yesterday UK footballer Wayne Rooney got stopped for drink driving
09-02-17
Somedays I feel like a female
Bugs Bunny,
saying "whats up doc" while
confident and cool,
while other days more like a
girl Daffy Duck,
feeling more like a tongue twisting fool,
while out shopping I feel like
an Elmer Fay Fudd,
almost always on the hunt,
looking and hunting for bargains,
hopefully finding them before anyone else does,
while most times at work while on production,
we have to be like a Speedy Gonzales,
or pretending to be like a Road Runner,
all the while imagine being chased,
by a Wile E. Coyote behind us,
and after all the production running,
we smell similar to a Pepe LePew,
because everyone's armpits,
need to be thoroughly perfumed,
then sometimes when I am driving,
and someone cuts me off,
I feel like a Yosemite Sam,
because even though I'm not short,
I feel short tempered and cross,
and when I'm off on the weekends,
I cannot tell a fib,
I like to overindulge,
and eat like a Porky Pig,
well, there you have it,
guess that all she wrote,
so good-bye for now, and
a bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep
thats all folks!
The very moment it's offered
we accept it blindly, no questions asked.
Yet every time we give something away
there is almost always strings attached.
Eedjit, bamstick, scunner and twit,
Am no wan o’ them, am jist a nit.
People whae’ve kent me, aw ma days,
Say am unstable, in aw ma ways.
They dinna really ken, the person ah am,
A real great guy, and no’ a bam.
Ah dae some awfy funny things,
But ahm no a hanky, cranky ---- jings!
Dae ye ‘oanestly think, am really ‘bats’,
Eyes all ablaze, like a big Manx cats.
Yellin’ an’ screamin’, an’ roond the bend,
A daft wee looney, tae the very end.
Ah tell ye ya’ great big scunnerin’ oafs,
Ye better no’ let me hear ye scoaff.
Ah’ll batter yer lugs against a wa’,
And yaise yer heids, tae play fitba’.
Then ah’ll throw ye under a movin’ train,
An’ mak mincemeat, oot o’ yer feeble brains.
Am a real great guy, the very best
But dinnae dare pit me tae the test!
I ask myself
who is this socialist Lula da Silva from Brazil?
How did he come to win the recent election of his country
despite his being recently jailed for corruption?
I look online to find out why people form an L on their foreheads
when mentioning his name. I find nothing about that.
However, I DO find that he created the Worker’s Party,
which seems to have a lot of popularity with only half his country.
As in America, Brazil is very divided in their political feelings.
He used to work for the unions. In his later years,
he ran for president and served two terms.
He was actually well-liked during that time
for having a good economy during his presidency
although he was disliked for doing nothing about crime.
Times Magazine actually put him at the top of their list
for 100 most influential people of the world after his presidency.
Somehow he keeps escaping corruption charges.
He has people chanting “Free Luna” outside his jail.
He wins Brazil’s recent election by 1% of the vote.
Then protesters of the opposing party storm Brazil’s Congress,
mirroring what took place in our own Congress
after Biden supposedly won the election in the U.S.
Hmmm, why is Lula labeled a loser?
This happy-faced old man lives in obvious luxury,
gets off for his crimes and also probably steals elections.
I wonder if the L his opposition form on their foreheads
is similar to what the opposition to Biden are doing
when they shout “Let’s Go Brandon.”
Like Biden, Luna seems to be quite the content criminal,
and the world
just keeps turning . . .
Is Lula fighting fair?
First he’s here, and then he’s there.
From the jail he gets let out.
Seems he has a lot of clout!
What was up with jail disruption
after all of his corruption?
Looney Lula acts like he
wants to help humanity with so-called “democracy.”
But instead he’s laundering,
(no, not clothes – another thing!)
Looney Lula, have you goons
in this world of Looney TUNES?
May 3, 2023
for Joe Maverick's 'They say he's a loser' Poetry Contest
I can be your looney tune, bring you love and balloons and chocolate bunnies that sing
you deserve the finest things in life. You can make me go from hood to suit in tie, sipping
champagne in front of fireplace until it burns out, and lights go out, the fire in my heart
starts to sprout, my wings start to rise, that means I’m falling for you. I sing to you, you get
lost in the blues of the tunes, you my witch no broom, I can be your looney tune.
I can be your looney tune, bring you flowers that will not die, bring you love that will not burn
give you kisses that will not lie. Take you out to dinner, nice steak and bow tie. Take you to
a park with no flies. I will do anything it takes to make you mine, I know it hard for you
to understand knowing you been through blurry lines, don’t worry I can make it clear,
no fear, day by day no tears I can be your looney tune.
I can be your looney tune, I know I can, give me a chance to make you smile, give me a chance
to make you laugh, let me be the one you choose, I’m giving all these clues, lots of rhythm, but
every word will be worth it if I had you. Please give me a chance? A chance to be your looney tune
The silence is deafening
But I’m sane I assure
Meet my friend Oliver
You can’t see him, he is right there
My name is Theodore
I took San Juan Hill
What the hell do you mean
I don’t need a pill
Abe Lincoln was
A good friend of mine
And I used to have tea
With the Queen all the time
This is a nice jacket
But no sleeves that’s not right
And you Idiots have it
Put on to damn tight
My room has no furniture
But it has rubber walls
I have too lie on the floor
And no one hears when I call
But I do have Oliver
A good friend he has been
And today we have a treat
We’re having tea with the Queen.
My life's becoming such a shamble
Every day I try and scramble
To survive and keep sane
But sometimes this crazy game
That I endure never ends
One day it's going to send
Me to a place I get to be
With other people just like me
Who snapped from the daily stress
Making us become a mess
Losing ourselves in our minds
And no ones able to find
A way to pull us out of
The torture that caused enough
Pain for this insanity
We are trapped and can't be free
Lost and never coming back
Our lives are fully intact
Medicine helps keep us calm
So we don't do any harm
In a padded room that's white
Locked away both day and night
Meals cooked--no knives around
In a shocked state we are found
A new life has now begin
Windows letting in the sun
From a world outside where thee
Are others waiting to live here
On the bus I pass by a building
We refer to as the looney bin
I can’t help but be looking
I see patients that aren’t locked in
They hang out catching a ray of sun
While smoking with an air of chagrin
They never look like they’re having fun
I think if I were in the looney ward
I’d want to escape the blah phenomenon
I’d want to pretend I won some big award
For being crazy happy with no reason
And I’d be laughing all day as my reward
They could accuse me of flaming treason
I wouldn’t care I’d be spreading christmas joy
No matter what the time or season
In the looney bin I’d whop it up like a real McCoy
AP: 3rd place 2020
Sailing ship to port
Tis evening or is it day
With time my brain has wilted fray
I steer the ore
I yell my salt
If I crash, tis not my fault
I repeat the fault I have in mind
Steering the ship to port
Under attack as well
Blue roosters under a spell
Squirting lemon juice
Tis simply not my day
Or so I tell my psychiatrist often.