The Looney

Eedjit, bamstick, scunner and twit, Am no wan o’ them, am jist a nit. People whae’ve kent me, aw ma days, Say am unstable, in aw ma ways. They dinna really ken, the person ah am, A real great guy, and no’ a bam. Ah dae some awfy funny things, But ahm no a hanky, cranky ---- jings! Dae ye ‘oanestly think, am really ‘bats’, Eyes all ablaze, like a big Manx cats. Yellin’ an’ screamin’, an’ roond the bend, A daft wee looney, tae the very end. Ah tell ye ya’ great big scunnerin’ oafs, Ye better no’ let me hear ye scoaff. Ah’ll batter yer lugs against a wa’, And yaise yer heids, tae play fitba’. Then ah’ll throw ye under a movin’ train, An’ mak mincemeat, oot o’ yer feeble brains. Am a real great guy, the very best But dinnae dare pit me tae the test!