Best Knickers Poems

Here’s a bold tale it will have you in titters
It’s about poor Sheila who lost her knickers
She went for a cruise upon the great ocean
Fell...

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October: I'm eighteen, shortcutting home
through an autumn-burnished churchyard -
copper-lustred leaves, moss-skinned stone -
a jaunty swing of skater skirt and arm,
college folder square-sturdy in my hand.
In...

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There’s a party tonight so I bouffe up my hair
Pamper and powder my sweet derrière,
Arrive at the door, all done up to impress.....
Oh man, I...

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He stands upon the salty,slippery deck,
Yelling yaargh matey ,
with a halfhearted pirate drawl.
He's not to impressed with himself,
not an eyepatch or wooden leg,
not even a...

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FRED THE PERV.

Kinky Fred stole knickers off the line
One summer night his haul totalled nine
His spree ended in tears
Got an extra ten years
When Judge Sue...

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OLD MA.

Old Ma always gave the kids a nice treat
Always nuts and never anything sweet
But they soon found out why
Nuts were in great supply
Choc nut...

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Once there was dingo, rabidly mad as he could be
who thought he was a Bruce of a man by how he spoke
But no man would...

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I’m lunching with my bestie Mylie
She’s upset and no longer smiley
I ask her what’s wrong
She said in my thong
My bottom is no match for Kylie!

I...

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I once knew a woman called Terri
Who always was sipping the sherry
She got steaming drunk
And fell off her bunk
The medics described her as ‘merry’

WRITTEN BY...

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My auntie wears 'Bridget Jones' knickers
But last week at tea at the vicars
She’d purloined MY lace thong
It was morally wrong
T’was the cause of very loud...

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When she gives a cough or a sneeze
Some wee trickles down past her knees
Her knickers are damp
She smells like a tramp
Dashing home so nobody sees

TITLE...

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[Advance Apologies: Sat on this for a few months
Concerned that it may be a little OTT for Soup. If
Your gag reflex is sensitive... best skip...

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Là breith sona dhuit

My best kilt I wear so very proud
Me pipes are flowing of music loud
The glens and thistle I bring them to you
For...

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I’m cursed since I have a specialty that I can see, 
X-ray vision is my power.
People often say one thing while doing another,
Preaching from their...

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A mischievous season called Spring
Liked to tickle the tree tops an’ ting
And teach songs to the birds
Full of old fashioned words
Oh the rude songs Spring...

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