Notes About The Poem

 

Sheila's Silk Knickers

Here’s a bold tale it will have you in titters
It’s about poor Sheila who lost her knickers
She went for a cruise upon the great ocean
Fell in the water with the boats sudden motion.

She swallowed some water and began to cough
A big wave engulfed her and tore her knickers off
A passing gull dived and took them in its beak
Poor Sheila cried out, “Oh what a damn cheek”.

The fog horn sounded and the ship it slowed down
Everyone was worried that poor Sheila would drown
Someone said “It’s a shame for the poor young lass”
Sheila was more worried that they’d see her bare ass 

A lifeboat was launched to rescue poor Sheila
But as she was hauled in they could see her posterior
Cameras were clicking aimed at her anatomy
Soon would be online for the entire world to see.

Always make sure your elastic is tight
Or like poor Sheila, lose them you might
Poor Sheila is still struggling to live it down
Still gets wolf whistled when she goes into town.

“I will not be cruising for quite a long while
I’ve bought some new knickers” she said with a smile.
On the side of a cliff there is a gull’s nest
That is lined with silk knickers of quality the best.

Written 25th March 2018.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2018

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

George Avatar
May 3, 2023 at 8:49 AM
"Always make sure your elastic is tight"! Enjoyed your advice to all ladies. I am sure you were inspired to write this poem seeing the image. :)
Cunningham Avatar
May 3, 2023 at 10:25 AM
Lol thanks Valsa, I created the image as I had an idea beforehand. Tom
Delaney Avatar
September 13, 2022 at 5:39 AM
In the Emergency Room, sometimes we would have to cut them off with scissors. So don’t wear your very best. LOL SuZ
Cunningham Avatar
May 3, 2023 at 10:25 AM
Lol, cheap and cheerful will do, just make sure they're clean
Delaney Avatar
September 13, 2022 at 2:55 AM
I am glad they were her best knickers, Tom: Mum always said, “ Wear your best underwear in case you have an accident. LOL SuZ
Cunningham Avatar
September 13, 2022 at 4:33 AM
Lol thanks Suz, something my mother said too, never mind being at deaths door as long as you have clean underwear haha. Enjoy your week ahead. Tom
Goldsmith Avatar
September 29, 2020 at 12:06 PM
Congratulations on your win. So cute and funny. That nest is the best dressed nest in town. Love it and the picture. Enjoy your win............
Cunningham Avatar
September 29, 2020 at 12:16 PM
Thank you very much Paula, im happy you enjoyed the humour. Hope you're well. Tom
Gentry Avatar
March 28, 2018 at 10:41 PM
Lol. Great humor! Well written, excellent rhymes. I totally enjoyed.
Cunningham Avatar
March 29, 2018 at 1:46 AM
Thank you Susan, glad you enjoyed it. Tom
Kendrick Avatar
March 28, 2018 at 3:21 PM
Ahh!! Sense of humor. Poor Shelia. Enjoyed reading this one. Thanks for dropping by. Sara
Cunningham Avatar
March 28, 2018 at 4:24 PM
Thank you Sara, glad you enjoyed it. Tom.
Dietrich Avatar
March 28, 2018 at 2:47 PM
this was really really good, Tom. Loved it!
Cunningham Avatar
March 28, 2018 at 2:56 PM
Thank you Andrea, I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Tom
Allison Avatar
March 27, 2018 at 4:37 PM
Absolutely hilariarse Tom:-) hugs jan xx
Cunningham Avatar
March 27, 2018 at 4:39 PM
Thanks Jan, I'm shaking at your comment lol
Hoffman Avatar
March 27, 2018 at 8:28 AM
Lol, poor Sheila! Thanks for the chuckle Tom!~Che :)
Cunningham Avatar
March 27, 2018 at 8:39 AM
Thanks Cheryl, glad you enjoyed it Tom
Pett Avatar
March 27, 2018 at 7:44 AM
Brilliant Tom, great story and rhyme, thoroughly enjoyed reading this well written poem. :))
Cunningham Avatar
March 27, 2018 at 8:01 AM
Thank you Roy, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Tom.
Ellison Avatar
March 27, 2018 at 7:15 AM
BANG ON MY FRIEND!!! Proud as POOP, dear Thomas! DO SOME MORE... you do me proud!!! YEE HAW!!!
Cunningham Avatar
March 27, 2018 at 7:28 AM
Thanks Jack, Maria was right, I've learnt from the master
Williams Avatar
March 27, 2018 at 6:40 AM
Lol, now thats some story. Poor Sheila, lucky little baby gulls indulged in silk though. Tom I think that Jack's funny humour is rubbing off on all of us. Better invite him to see this, he's going to love it....Maria :)
Cunningham Avatar
March 27, 2018 at 7:06 AM
Thanks Maria, Yes , Jacks humour is contagious lol. Have asked him to check it out. Tom
Y. Avatar
March 26, 2018 at 9:21 PM
Lol! Tom, This is great story telling at it's best. It was really funny. I could just picture the whole scene . I was most definitely entertained. Thanks for writing such a write:-) Alexis
Cunningham Avatar
March 27, 2018 at 1:01 AM
Thank you Alexis, glad you enjoyed it. Originally done as a family joke with three stanza's, I changed the name and added a few more. Tom
One Avatar
March 26, 2018 at 2:24 PM
hahaha... Great story telling Tom..
Cunningham Avatar
March 26, 2018 at 3:39 PM
Thank you S.O. Glad that you enjoyed it Tom
Andresen Avatar
March 26, 2018 at 12:17 PM
- An entertaining story, Tom :) - Love this one :))) - Reminds me of another story from real life :))) ... will be too long to tell ... :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
Cunningham Avatar
March 26, 2018 at 12:52 PM
Thanks Sunshine, Glad you enjoyed it, Now I wont sleep thinking what is Sun shines story lol. Tom
Trifiatis Avatar
March 26, 2018 at 9:06 AM
Outstanding humorous poem dear, Tom, that not only made my day but my entire month! haha! Thank you! Hilarious and witty!
Cunningham Avatar
March 26, 2018 at 9:12 AM
Thank you Demetrios. We all need a bit of humour in our lives from time to time. Tom
Krutsinger Avatar
March 25, 2018 at 11:43 PM
What a fantastic narrative, Tom. This went to favorites before I had finished reading it.
Cunningham Avatar
March 26, 2018 at 2:13 AM
Thank you caren, thought it was time for some bold humour, it doesn't go amiss now and again. Tom
Gauthier Avatar
March 25, 2018 at 11:18 PM
Awesome storytelling in this lovely poem, Tom.
Cunningham Avatar
March 26, 2018 at 2:27 AM
Thanks again Line. Sorted now. Tom
Cunningham Avatar
March 26, 2018 at 2:14 AM
Thank you Line, glad you enjoyed it. Tom
Talbot Avatar
March 25, 2018 at 7:55 PM
What a fun read, thanks Tom... Mivk
Cunningham Avatar
March 26, 2018 at 2:15 AM
Thank you Mick, glad you enjoyed it. Tom
Thomas Avatar
March 25, 2018 at 5:38 PM
Lolol what a comfy nest it must be! Another to give a smile dear Tom!
Cunningham Avatar
March 25, 2018 at 5:44 PM
Thanks Shadow, I suppose it was the seagulls equivalent of silk sheets lol Tom
Sell Avatar
March 25, 2018 at 1:41 PM
Bwahahahaaa! This makes me think of when Midwestern parents tell their kids to wear clean undergarments in case they get in a car accident and have to go to the hospital.
Cunningham Avatar
March 25, 2018 at 1:48 PM
Thanks Amy, heard that one many times haha. If I was in an accident last thing I'd worry about is clean underwear. Imagine having a heart attack or bleeding heavily and telling the paramedics, hang on I've just got to put clean underwear on lol.
Rodrigues Avatar
March 25, 2018 at 12:12 PM
LOL...s-nickering over here! ;) Very funny, Tom!
Cunningham Avatar
March 25, 2018 at 1:43 PM
Thanks Kim, glad you enjoyed it. Tom
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace