Sheila's Silk Knickers

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Here’s a bold tale it will have you in titters
It’s about poor Sheila who lost her knickers
She went for a cruise upon the great ocean
Fell in the water with the boats sudden motion.

She swallowed some water and began to cough
A big wave engulfed her and tore her knickers off
A passing gull dived and took them in its beak
Poor Sheila cried out, “Oh what a damn cheek”.

The fog horn sounded and the ship it slowed down
Everyone was worried that poor Sheila would drown
Someone said “It’s a shame for the poor young lass”
Sheila was more worried that they’d see her bare ass 

A lifeboat was launched to rescue poor Sheila
But as she was hauled in they could see her posterior
Cameras were clicking aimed at her anatomy
Soon would be online for the entire world to see.

Always make sure your elastic is tight
Or like poor Sheila, lose them you might
Poor Sheila is still struggling to live it down
Still gets wolf whistled when she goes into town.

“I will not be cruising for quite a long while
I’ve bought some new knickers” she said with a smile.
On the side of a cliff there is a gull’s nest
That is lined with silk knickers of quality the best.

Written 25th March 2018.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018



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Date: 5/3/2023 8:49:00 AM
"Always make sure your elastic is tight"! Enjoyed your advice to all ladies. I am sure you were inspired to write this poem seeing the image. :)
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 5/3/2023 10:25:00 AM
Lol thanks Valsa, I created the image as I had an idea beforehand. Tom
Date: 9/13/2022 5:39:00 AM
In the Emergency Room, sometimes we would have to cut them off with scissors. So don’t wear your very best. LOL SuZ
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 5/3/2023 10:25:00 AM
Lol, cheap and cheerful will do, just make sure they're clean
Date: 9/13/2022 2:55:00 AM
I am glad they were her best knickers, Tom: Mum always said, “ Wear your best underwear in case you have an accident. LOL SuZ
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 9/13/2022 4:33:00 AM
Lol thanks Suz, something my mother said too, never mind being at deaths door as long as you have clean underwear haha. Enjoy your week ahead. Tom
Date: 9/29/2020 12:06:00 PM
Congratulations on your win. So cute and funny. That nest is the best dressed nest in town. Love it and the picture. Enjoy your win............
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 9/29/2020 12:16:00 PM
Thank you very much Paula, im happy you enjoyed the humour. Hope you're well. Tom
Date: 3/28/2018 10:41:00 PM
Lol. Great humor! Well written, excellent rhymes. I totally enjoyed.
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 3/29/2018 1:46:00 AM
Thank you Susan, glad you enjoyed it. Tom
Date: 3/28/2018 3:21:00 PM
Ahh!! Sense of humor. Poor Shelia. Enjoyed reading this one. Thanks for dropping by. Sara
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 3/28/2018 4:24:00 PM
Thank you Sara, glad you enjoyed it. Tom.
Date: 3/28/2018 2:47:00 PM
this was really really good, Tom. Loved it!
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 3/28/2018 2:56:00 PM
Thank you Andrea, I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Tom
Date: 3/27/2018 4:37:00 PM
Absolutely hilariarse Tom:-) hugs jan xx
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 3/27/2018 4:39:00 PM
Thanks Jan, I'm shaking at your comment lol
Date: 3/27/2018 8:28:00 AM
Lol, poor Sheila! Thanks for the chuckle Tom!~Che :)
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 3/27/2018 8:39:00 AM
Thanks Cheryl, glad you enjoyed it Tom
Date: 3/27/2018 7:44:00 AM
Brilliant Tom, great story and rhyme, thoroughly enjoyed reading this well written poem. :))
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 3/27/2018 8:01:00 AM
Thank you Roy, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Tom.
Date: 3/27/2018 7:15:00 AM
BANG ON MY FRIEND!!! Proud as POOP, dear Thomas! DO SOME MORE... you do me proud!!! YEE HAW!!!
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 3/27/2018 7:28:00 AM
Thanks Jack, Maria was right, I've learnt from the master
Date: 3/27/2018 6:40:00 AM
Lol, now thats some story. Poor Sheila, lucky little baby gulls indulged in silk though. Tom I think that Jack's funny humour is rubbing off on all of us. Better invite him to see this, he's going to love it....Maria :)
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 3/27/2018 7:06:00 AM
Thanks Maria, Yes , Jacks humour is contagious lol. Have asked him to check it out. Tom
Date: 3/26/2018 9:21:00 PM
Lol! Tom, This is great story telling at it's best. It was really funny. I could just picture the whole scene . I was most definitely entertained. Thanks for writing such a write:-) Alexis
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 3/27/2018 1:01:00 AM
Thank you Alexis, glad you enjoyed it. Originally done as a family joke with three stanza's, I changed the name and added a few more. Tom
Date: 3/26/2018 2:24:00 PM
hahaha... Great story telling Tom..
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 3/26/2018 3:39:00 PM
Thank you S.O. Glad that you enjoyed it Tom
Date: 3/26/2018 12:17:00 PM
- An entertaining story, Tom :) - Love this one :))) - Reminds me of another story from real life :))) ... will be too long to tell ... :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 3/26/2018 12:52:00 PM
Thanks Sunshine, Glad you enjoyed it, Now I wont sleep thinking what is Sun shines story lol. Tom
Date: 3/26/2018 9:06:00 AM
Outstanding humorous poem dear, Tom, that not only made my day but my entire month! haha! Thank you! Hilarious and witty!
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 3/26/2018 9:12:00 AM
Thank you Demetrios. We all need a bit of humour in our lives from time to time. Tom
Date: 3/25/2018 11:43:00 PM
What a fantastic narrative, Tom. This went to favorites before I had finished reading it.
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 3/26/2018 2:13:00 AM
Thank you caren, thought it was time for some bold humour, it doesn't go amiss now and again. Tom
Date: 3/25/2018 11:18:00 PM
Awesome storytelling in this lovely poem, Tom.
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 3/26/2018 2:27:00 AM
Thanks again Line. Sorted now. Tom
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 3/26/2018 2:14:00 AM
Thank you Line, glad you enjoyed it. Tom
Date: 3/25/2018 7:55:00 PM
What a fun read, thanks Tom... Mivk
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 3/26/2018 2:15:00 AM
Thank you Mick, glad you enjoyed it. Tom
Date: 3/25/2018 5:38:00 PM
Lolol what a comfy nest it must be! Another to give a smile dear Tom!
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 3/25/2018 5:44:00 PM
Thanks Shadow, I suppose it was the seagulls equivalent of silk sheets lol Tom
Date: 3/25/2018 1:41:00 PM
Bwahahahaaa! This makes me think of when Midwestern parents tell their kids to wear clean undergarments in case they get in a car accident and have to go to the hospital.
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 3/25/2018 1:48:00 PM
Thanks Amy, heard that one many times haha. If I was in an accident last thing I'd worry about is clean underwear. Imagine having a heart attack or bleeding heavily and telling the paramedics, hang on I've just got to put clean underwear on lol.
Date: 3/25/2018 12:12:00 PM
LOL...s-nickering over here! ;) Very funny, Tom!
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Tom Cunningham
Date: 3/25/2018 1:43:00 PM
Thanks Kim, glad you enjoyed it. Tom
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