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Hellllllppppppppp I'Ve Lost My Knickers

Last night our kitchen light stopped working
It was intermittent all flashing and jerking
A replacement one was quickly needed
There was one on the shelves – our prayers were heeded

We were both up the ladder – we were drilling and screwing
Oh I am thankful my hubby knows what he’s doing
When the light switch was switched on
Bright golden glowing light gently shone

Everywhere was covered with a fine layer of dust
So I got out the hoover -  I cursed and I cussed
I started cleaning the nooks and crannies
My hoover is quite new it’s not like my grannies

I hang lots of washing by the kitchen door
But something had dropped right onto the floor
The hoover sucked up my pink lacy knickers
The light on the hoover went red and flickers

I shouted my hubby please come here quick
The hoover has swallowed my frilly nicks
We started to laugh as we undid the cover
My pink dusty knickers we soon did discover

The moral of this story is hang on to your frillies
If not, your assets may get a dose of the chillies
I’m going to keep a tight grip of my panties
I wonder if my husband totally agrees


30th March 2014

This really happened yesterday!

Copyright © Jan Allison | Year Posted 2014

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Maurice Yvonne Date: 9/25/2014 1:57:00 PM Be careful Jan I heard Tim might be stalking your older writes. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 9/25/2014 4:29:00 PM They are UK size 8 they wont fit you Tim:-) hugs Jan xxx Tim Smith Date: 9/25/2014 3:54:00 PM Just want to borrow them :) Jan Allison Date: 9/25/2014 3:49:00 PM I know Maurice he's after my knickers LOL:-) hugs Jan xxx

Tim Smith Date: 9/25/2014 12:41:00 PM Guess all the cool guys are stalking your older works :)hugs Tim Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 9/25/2014 4:28:00 PM Am doing well Tim still got 3 [] snickers bars left not ( Y ) knickers Lol:-) Hugs Jan xx Tim Smith Date: 9/25/2014 3:53:00 PM I thought it said snickers....my eyes are starting to go :) Jan Allison Date: 9/25/2014 3:48:00 PM aww you are welcome to stalk me any time ... but should I be concerned its my knickers poem that has brought this stalking on LOL:-) hugs Jan xxx

Maurice Yvonne Date: 9/5/2014 7:47:00 PM This is so funny. Heeheeheehee. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 9/25/2014 3:47:00 PM aww i couldn't wish for two more adorable stalkers:-) Hugs Jan xxx Maurice Yvonne Date: 9/25/2014 1:56:00 PM Yeah Jan stop stalking Tim.............................even if it's him stalking you. Tim Smith Date: 9/25/2014 12:40:00 PM Quit stalking Jan.....wait that's what I am doing.... Lol Jan Allison Date: 9/5/2014 7:52:00 PM I thought it would tickle your fancy Maurice:-) Hugs Jan xx

Paddi March Date: 4/21/2014 5:18:00 PM Lovely whimsical thing . It was so cute. I remember in the seventies a girl i knew felt her knickers fall about her ankles. a young man nearby also saw and he yelled out, and pointed at the sky " look a flying saucer" my friend stepped out of the panties and ran. I grinned at the young man and followed. your poem is fun, i do admire that you do write with a lot of variety, your poems are not all the same. Thats my dream to do that. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 4/21/2014 5:29:00 PM Good luck Paddi - since my hubby had cancer and I started my poetry journey I try and write as humourously as I can - check out 'just desserts' my first poem I posted - also a true story.(blushes) Some of my poems are of a more serious nature especially about his cancer Hugs Jan xxx

Peter Walsh Date: 4/8/2014 11:59:00 AM Very funny Jan... i laughed outloud at this one... Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 4/8/2014 1:56:00 PM Thanks Peter was hilarious at the time. Hugs Jan x

Cecilia Macfarlane Date: 4/4/2014 6:40:00 PM LOL......this is hilarious, and it being true makes it much better. Thanks for sharing. Hugs Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 4/4/2014 7:09:00 PM Thanks Cecilia. I try and make light of everything now since hubby had cancer surgery- wasn't until then I started writing but didn't join here till Feb and now I cant stop! Hugs Jan xxxx

Jack Ellison Date: 4/2/2014 11:09:00 AM Holy crap! You write about the strangest stuff just like me Your sense of humour comes shining through in all that you write! Loved this one too! LOVING HUGS DEAR SIS XOXOX Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 4/2/2014 11:31:00 AM Oh Jack that comment made me howl. I am only writing what happened was sooooooo funny just written with my usual style lol Am working on my 'toilet tax' poem since feb just cant get it to flow at the moment lol but will be a corker when its done hugs Jan xxxx

Vera Duggan Date: 4/1/2014 8:00:00 PM OMG Jan, has Bob read this one, it is so funny, I just love it, I have never sucked up a pair of knickers but I have sucked up a sock, you are so good with your words Jan........Vera................. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 4/2/2014 2:33:00 AM Yes Bob has seen it and chuckled. I even posted it on my work e mail system on Monday morning to brighten up people's days - had some lovely comments lol hugs to you both Jan xxx

Rob Carter Date: 4/1/2014 4:58:00 PM Ha ha. This is funny. Usually socks with me. And following on from Pauls comment you know I like innuendos! Rob Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 4/1/2014 5:20:00 PM am blushing here Rob - I'd better start posting 'sensible and serious' poems from now on :-( hugs Jan xx

Paul Callus Date: 4/1/2014 4:20:00 PM Our Jan with a true sense of humour :) Really enjoyed this, though at first I wondered what was going on in at the start of the second stanza :) // paul Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 4/1/2014 4:24:00 PM Oh subtle innuendo is my forte Paul lol. I simply had to write a poem about this - it truly was hilarious. hugs Jan x

Darren Watson Date: 3/31/2014 4:01:00 PM Don't be climbing that ladder when its hubbies turn to hoover , lol Brilliant poem Jan Login to Reply Darren Watson Date: 3/31/2014 5:00:00 PM I'm still picturing hubby chasing you around the room with the hoover , lol Jan Allison Date: 3/31/2014 4:56:00 PM Hi Darren How is this for weird - its posted under where I get my soup mail comments M&S Knickers View Underwear By Autograph, Ceriso, Per Una & More at M&S. Think its a hint to go get some more LOL Jan xx Jan Allison Date: 3/31/2014 4:07:00 PM Thought it would make you chuckle Darren - I was almost crying with laughter trying to open the hoover to get them before they went in the bag lol. Note to self let hubby hoover and sit on sofa eat chocolate and compose poems instead- simples! hugs Jan xx

Jack Horne Date: 3/31/2014 3:59:00 PM LOL, had a good laugh at this : ) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 3/31/2014 4:04:00 PM Hi Jack Had it been my 'Bridget Jones knickers' they wouldn't have gone flying up the tube and there wouldn't have been a poem. Thanks for dropping by Hugs Jan xxxx

Russell Sivey Date: 3/31/2014 6:00:00 AM Oh, you have me quite a laughing my friend! I've never known anyone that had gone through this until now! I bet you husband actually enjoyed the humor of trying to retrieve your panties, as you did! You are quite funny Jan! Great Work!! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 3/31/2014 7:29:00 AM Thanks Russell - was so funny - couldn't happen to anyone but me! Jan x

Larry Berdoo Date: 3/31/2014 2:05:00 AM Jan, simple moments in life that bring smiles and laughter. Nice ending, I'm sure you both agree. Fun write. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 3/31/2014 2:28:00 AM We were helpless with laughter trying to remove them out of the hoover - they were covered in dust but nothing a wash wont cure - did make me giggle. thanks for dropping by Jan x