Best Join Poems

Ted’s libido has now gone astray
He refused a quick roll in the hay
So what could be the cause -   
It’s the male menopause   
He’s been grumpy and snappy all day!
 
His testosterone levels have dropped  
Many Viagra pills he has...

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Come and go away with me
and join me in this fantasy
to distant lands beyond the clouds
where we can share a life so free. 

no storm clouds looming to disrupt
no one close by to interrupt
just you and me beneath the stars
as solitude let’s life erupt

beneath the...

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Sue dated an old bloke called Darren
He said surgery'd made him barren
But one errant sperm
Escaped from his ‘worm’
Now Sue’s had a baby named Sharon!

05~24~17

WRITTEN BY JAN ALLISON

For his sins he surely will pay
Strong little swimmer went astray
There's tears in his eyes
No nights with the guys
And...

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There's a pesky mosquito hoverin' around our ears
If he keeps it up he'll soon be splattered in smears
T-Buzz tries to draw our blood
When he gets hit with a THUD!
We'll celebrate his demise with a party ~ Cheers!
        ...

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I’m lunching with my bestie Mylie
She’s upset and no longer smiley
I ask her what’s wrong
She said in my thong
My bottom is no match for Kylie!

I giggled and said stop your moans
You're perfect not like Bridget Jones
There will be no snickers
At your thong or knickers
We cannot...

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Darkness arrives..
Quiet and still..
The night is hauntingly beautiful..
Mysterious yet magical..
Moonlight captures my mood..
Intoxicated by pure brightness..
As moonlight shines..

Join me..
As we indulge in the moonlight..
Together you and I..
A calming wind blows softly...
As it calms me so..
Need not have a change of heart...
We were one.. 

Join me..
My...

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I had an old auntie called Mable
Who could drink men under the table
She’d tell folks of her gout
Sup up six pints of stout  -
then stagger to the loo when able!

11~23~16

WRITTEN BY JAN ALLISON


My paternal aunt whose name was Mable 
Drank so much that she...

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I once knew a woman called Terri
Who always was sipping the sherry
She got steaming drunk
And fell off her bunk
The medics described her as ‘merry’

WRITTEN BY JAN ALLISON


20th October 2016


Still in her old knickers grinning
Until the room started spinning
Feeling not all right
Spent from a great night
Her...

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Write a limerick of your own about a Muppet. 
If you post it in a comment or in soup mail to me, 
and I find it appropriate, I'll add it on. ;-)


Sesame Street's Count von Count is dressed in black
He spends his time counting bats...

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I'm a firm believer
In limerick fever
(This isn't news)
"It'll cure the blues!"
Says Jan (who is no deceiver)

Written by Jan Allison:

Writing limericks is a fine art
Yes I write about poop or a fart
But show me someone
Whose not dropped a ‘bomb’
then from poetry soup I’d depart!

Written by Lim'rik...

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Amidst this greenery and purple heather
Azure blue skies grace our naked souls
Beneath the Cullins on the Isle of Skye
Two in love sharing adventurous goals

On our tartan blanket facing each other
Noses in touch sharing kisses aplenty
Rapid they are in teasingly smother
Tongues now fence, complimentary

Wandering hands on...

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Today I will enjoy the sun
drink every drop of golden light
sing the nursery rhymes for fun
and spread my wings again for  flight
I'll soar above to gain new height
rainbows will kiss on the forehead
as twilight paints my wings bright red
a flight above the deep blue...

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If you would like to have your limerick(s) posted, soup mail them to me.

Ms. Rude is still writing her snide remarks
She sounds like a mad dog who barks and barks
Geeze, lady, give it a rest
Your thinking is oppressed
I'm sure some of your undies have skid...

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In fragile colours you appear to me
Suave pastel strokes that are so slowly
but tenderly washed away from my memory

In gentle lullabies you caress my ears
Warm mumbling in your language
I never was able to master

I want your arms to hold me one more time
Hear your soft...

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On my way to work today, 
It struck me out of the blue,
There’re lots of things I haven’t done, 
There’re things I need to do,

I need to bungee jump from off a bridge, 
And leap right out of a plane,
I need to speed around in...

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