Best Insurance Company Poems
My personal physician
says I’m the picture of perfect health
Then he hands me the pharmaceutic scripts
Dr. Miyagi
makes me wonder sometimes,
if he’s a paid health insurance company shill
Seeing how there’s fifty bottles of medicine
on my monthly HMO bill
Metformin
Deseryl
Glyburide
Lisinopril
Every day the bottles say,
I gotta take fifty pills
But the side effects will give you deadly cold chills
Nausea,
diarrhea
Constipation,
insomnia
Me keeping well
is profitable to somebody I can tell
Just pop open the caps,
and watch your thoughts congeal
Bactrim
Gabapentin
Amneal
Indomethacin
Taking fifty pills is waking zombie time
My staying well feels like being sentenced
to a life imprisonment crime
Always feeling sick just to stay healthy,
going to sleep is the only time I feel good
So, I bequeath this advice in my will:
if you wanna die painfully slow, then take fifty pills
I bought a house that nobody else wanted.
I got it dirt cheap because it was haunted.
It was once owned by a murderess and nobody could trust her.
Things got so bad in that house that I called the Ghostbusters.
But those four women came running out of that house as fast as they could.
I thought that hiring those women was a great idea but it didn't do any good.
Everybody who lived in that house ended up in a bad shape.
The last straw came when the ghost cornered me and I was raped.
I burned down that house for the insurance because things were so creepy and odd.
But the insurance company found out and now I've been sentenced to prison for fraud.
In the beginning there was a lonely word but soon after
there was no room at the meagre hostel for the saviour
Sanguine hopes flash-flooded the sanctuary of hearts
sacrificial blood of Christ awaited to be spilt in vain
Spelt out the message of rusty nails corroding on cross
bones mounted the flesh ready for vanishing memories
Lest we forget Christmas it amounts to summits of wrappers
luxurious gifts opulent indigestion after a vainglorious feast
Reindeer and global delivery services occlude the notion that
taking stock is not about counting presents but reducing the cost
Jesus flashes from i-pads I this and I that please give me more
extra goods additional abundance mince pies and stuffing
Belching and flatulent Tim reaches for his heartburn medication
tastes uppers and downers sniffs white powder on bank cards
His wife smears the makeup she grabbed from under the tree
her new perfume a bountiful offering of disguised scented myrrh
No sense for frank frankinsence as she sniffs expensive fragrances
from benefaction bottle’s decadence and reduces benediction to myth
Gift wrap explodes from the fireplace in the mix of unopened packets
just after Father Christmas has made a lucky escape from the scene
Arson of gluttony self-inflicted suffering self-immolation of sorts
sorts out this unholy communion followed by smouldering mourning
The insurance company refuses to pay as they insist that the couple
had backed the wrong course of action in vile contempt of true faith
They however donate a beautiful bible of careful calligraphy
with gilded ornamentation bound in leather and lather of time
There are no walls standing for wailing when Tim and his spouse
and it remains to be seen whether they might find a mangled manger
To resume business as usual or take refuge in meaning and truth
when the word in the beginning had become a sorry blank canvas
18th November 2018
Contest Christmas Mourning
Sponsor P.S. AWTRY
Where I live, a bunch of idiots work at the DMV.
They proved that by giving a drivers license to me.
When I drive, I constantly drive in the wrong lane.
Some people call me stupid, others call me insane.
If you're on the same road while I'm driving,
you won't have much of a chance of surviving.
I've wrecked so many cars that my insurance company no longer pays.
If you ever see me driving in your neighborhood, you really should pray.
If you're out walking while I'm driving, you sure will need to get out of my way.
Because if you don't, your next of kin will be informed that you've passed away.
I drive extremely bad during the night and even worse in the rain.
When I die, my body will be donated to science but they won't accept my brain.
When people see me coming, they lose bladder control and pee.
The gospel truth is that even drunk drivers drive better than me.
We await the daily mail delivery with eager anticipation.
Alas, today came another batch of worthless information!
Of course there were the usual bills that arrive without fail,
But where's the check that guy promised would be in the mail?
We've received more return mailing labels than we'll ever use.
How our names got on their mailing lists, I have no clues.
To top it all, a summons for jury duty was today received.
Now that really ruined my day and left me sorely aggrieved!
A startling piece of mail from a realtor wanting to sell the house.
Thinking I had something to do with that really upset my spouse!
A blatant ad from a vinyl siding contractor wanting to make a sell.
Interesting we should receive that since in a brick house we dwell!
Another envelope had alarming news from the local funeral home.
Do they know something we don't know about a trip to the Celestial Dome?
Our life insurance company sent their usual annual birthday greeting,
Breathing a sigh of relief that our hearts are both still beating!
Lord have mercy and deliver us from this onerous perdition!
Curtailing this stuff would certainly improve our disposition.
On the computer I can simply stop such stuff by clicking 'delete'.
Oh, for such a simple system to make junk mail less replete!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Taking a course of being a secretary
Typewriter on the table is ready
My hands are aching to hit the letters
Speed depends on the movements of my fingers
A basic instrument of communication
You have to familiarize with the hands-on
Busy hands needs to type as many words
It’s like having a competition with swords
Manual way of making documents for you and for me
You have to be sure to type the words and letters correctly
Bond papers, liquid erasers, and a heavy type writer
The complete set to accomplish the mission as typist
Typewriters will be remembered as the years go by
Modern computers will not beat its quality even if I buy
April 25, 2013
For Craig's Contest "The Typewriter"
Note:
I worked as a secretary in an insurance company before and I used typewriter for making documents, letters, etc. and missed using it for a long time... (^_^)
May all sacred,
but not quite omnipotent,
fathers learn this day
as we impatiently correct
our stress-disordered sons
That respect is earned,
so maybe disrespect is too
positive and negative layered
for and against authority
for and sometimes restlessly against
repeating Business As Usual
white middle-class dadisms:
You snooze
you lose
May apply to your lethargic
chronically anxious
thuggish
couch-surfing
cannabis-fed son
And yet feels counter-intuitive
for babies
and us great grandads
who need our outside rest
away from commercial
too lit up
and loud
and relentlessly plastic
inhumane degradations
In such a rabidly anxious hurry
to wait for inevitable pandemics
and genocide,
floods
hurricanes
tsunamis
forest fires
drought
dry river beds
famine
insomnia
rabidity
insurance company bankruptcy
government balkanization
supremacist tribalism
Silent self-medicating snoozes
feels like a healthy alternative to:
capitalist narcissism
anthro-supreme monotheism
monoculturing nationalism
painful survivalist isolation
demented diseases
species extinctions
self v other criminalizations
weaponizations
May feel like hoarding safety
for defense-oriented males
on a bad day
in a depressing moment
Become
yackity yack disrespectful
feeling entitled to rightwing exclusively define
"real [unwoke narcissistic] men."
Yet quietly hiding
under these sacredly respected
and secular unrespected unsuspecting layers
of diverse manhood hues and warring cues
lie traumatizing patriarchal cultures.
Capital co-invested resilient climates
prefer cooperatively active integrity
over passive faith-based respect
and dramatically traumatic disrespect
and unenlightened
stress-triggered verbal unrespect
accelerating competitions,
dis-integrity
unhealthy desecrating excommunications.
Consecrating sacred solidarity feelings
learned today
converge synergetic need/want supportive
resonant polyvagal
resilient communication systems
searching for win/win reconnections
Even when sometimes disrespectfully correcting
my pre- and post-traumatic
stress disordered father
son.
Trump Female Voters
Trump female voters with brain and exterior
Do lack intelligence and appear to be inferior
And no matter what they always will seem
Lack any trusty features that try to redeem.
Of their thoughts we have become reticent
Without positive attitude and are complacent
About others feelings and could care less
May be responsible for putting us in a mess.
They are ghoulish always carrying a grudge
Prefer gruesome things not giving a budge
And looks at life as if it is a big, bad dream
Full of misery as it has headed down stream.
About Female Trump voters we find apparent
Taking drugs, smoking and drinking are inherent
Their fear of change can be described as visceral
Like throwing trash and not taking things literal.
If Trump is presumptive candidate we presume
Republicans all did end up sealing their doom
And even if accident was front or a rear-ender
Would insurance company still pay if transgender?
To me regarding Trump what seems so annoying
Way back in time he does continue to be going
Female voters with no minds wanting a miracle
Never do understand any data that is empirical.
Was Data on Star Trek a transgender?
James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
a glimpse into life
insurance company light
the more the merrier
I was working for this South African company,
For its Lesotho registered segment.
I wasn't of the long serving ones
But a relative new comer.
Here we were in this industry:
Sales for an insurance company.
I had something of a different style
To how things were generally done.
Small premiums with government stop order
Were highly valued and rated.
They had fewer chances of lapsing.
But I came with a different hand.
If you're going to work normally,
Not limiting your market,
You couldn't just focus on the civil service.
The policy of the company agreed with me.
My business was viewed sceptically.
I thought I'd leave the company!
All the courses we ever attended
Confirmed that I was on the right track.
The business world could also invest!
Of course, the risk of lapses was there
But that was a natural thing,
And it depended on the quality.
A prospect, a lady, wanted to invest
A really big single premium.
Armed with on the job selling skills
And sincerity and integrity,
I showed the superiority of my plan,
Compared with those from competitors.
The biggest challenge came from across
The border in South Africa,
From the bank where the money lay.
I had to be the field Marshall
Leading into battle my boss.
Not my immediate boss but his boss!
Never underestimate experience.
I saw it sparkle at crucial times
From my senior manager!
We clinched the deal, the lady signed.
The single premium left for Lesotho!
It was thitherto unknown.
It was history indelible!
I didn't verbalize about it with my boss.
I let it speak to him from the page,
Saying: "One and six zeros!"
Today the trophy sits in my cupboard!
Will the person driving behind me kindly back off please?
You are driving way too close, and it’s not putting me at ease.
For every ten miles per hour of traveling speed,
there is one car length of distance that you need.
That is a fundamental rule when you are on the go.
The state’s division of motor vehicles wants everyone to know.
What will happen if I suddenly have to put on my brakes?
You could find yourself in my back seat, for goodness sakes!
Besides, I pay enough in premiums to my insurance company.
Involvement in an accident is not a good way to meet me.
The world of business
is riddled with traps
I tried to start
an intenent business
So good were their words
we make money
when you make money
the promise of lies
Internet scams
poor people trying
to make at the expense
of someone else
of course, it was a scam
Financially I am not
the one to follow
but with a world
Real financial experts
surely we could find
people to trust
people that can invest
and grow companies
people that can
make a profit
and payout dividends from shares
people that can help build economies
saving ten dollars per week
you are looking at an investment
of five hundred and twenty dollars per year
If you had invested in micro soft
how year after year how much
would you be worth
could you invest more
It'd your life
you can do whatever you want
you can save a hundred dollars per week
it's your money
granted with every investment
there is a risk
you can lose your money
people do lie cheap and steal
but investments create jobs
investments stimulate economies
half the problem we have today
was caused by greed
People wanting to make money
from selling houses
lowered interest rates
sold houses to people
that couldn't afford them
put up interest rates
made the homeowners
take out insurance
So if they failed to pay
they made money
from the insurance company
an insurance company collapsed
because they couldn't afford the debt
like a deck of dominoes
the whole system started to struggle
one country after another
started having financial problems
markets dried up as economies failed
we didn't end up, in a depression
because we had things like social welfare
Our ancestors had created
but we are all apart of the same world
healthy economies in other country's
buy the products from your country's
The world needs to look at the balance
between the needs of all economies
When Mahatma Gandhi improve the textile
trade-in India it devastated
The textile trade in other countries
I'm not the expert but if we build
industry in India
I believe that is what great man achieved
Industry, that India requires
to create employment for India
Industry, that we all need to have
healthy economies
We need to do it in a way
that creates balance,
improving the economies of all
countries
[I got approved today for another procedure
In the old days, a procedure was a surgery,
Nowadays the insurance company approves
It’s something akin to commercial burglary!]
A surgery used to mean a long hospital stay
But a procedure, you’re in-and-out in a day,
They send you home with pain and a pill
The pain really sets in when you get the bill.
You get a form to fill out how well they did
Yes, as though you’d know, it’s all so stupid.
Take it from me, best to go in by ambulance
No waiting for hours to be seen…perchance
They rush you right into an emergency room,
Before your infected appendix goes ka-boom.
Feeling poorly, being grumpy is hardly a sin
Try to go with the flow, take it on the chin,
Keep in mind the doctors are doing their best
To keep your heart beating inside your chest.
Written May 27, 2022
So I had an appointment today to inspect a motorcycle in Stevenson. I pulled up to the house and walked to the front door then knocked. A woman opens the door and I say, I'm here to inspect the motorcycle for the insurance company. We're eye to eye contact for about 10 silent awkward seconds and out of nowhere she just starts talking about something and I have no idea what she means. She mentions something about a check being deposited into her account....so I say no ma'am. I don't write the insurance checks. I just assess the damage to the bike and pass the estimate and photos along to the insurance company. The insurance company will have to issue you the check. She's starts talking again and gave me her full name, social security number and date of birth. The entire time she's looking at me like I'm crazy and I'm looking at her like she's crazy then she holds her index finger up ??so I look up ??Nothing there. I begin to think I'm dealing with a schizophrenic and slowly back away. All of a sudden she says thank you..goodbye and brushes her hair back to turn off a hidden Bluetooth earpiece. I stood there for 5 minuets trying to carry on a conversation with a woman who was on the phone with her bank. Each time she would hold up her index finger??and gesture for me to 'hold on' I would look up like some kind of paranoid squirrel waiting on a hawk to swoop down and carry me away. Long story short I'm an idiot....again.
I sat on a merry-go-round from, to, and of Hell.
Goblins floating round and round,
Gremlins going up and down.
I sat on the merry-go-round from, to, and of Hell
Playing "Let's make a deal." with the devil himself.
And as his smile turned into knives,
I could see the infinite expanse of lives he had claimed,
like an insurance company running your life,
like an investor running your business,
like a lawyer running your troubles,
but this man led all of the above for millions.
There was suffering in his eyes,
but not his own.
You could tell how many tears have been shed,
but not his.
His hands were hooks,
"all the better to hug you with",
more like all the better to ravage my heart.
His nose was an expanse of two deep holes,
"all the better to smell you with",
more like all the better to sniff up my soul.
His ears were large and bat like,
"all the better to hear your wishes",
more like all the better to hear my supersonic whispers of all my deepest fears.
He spoke:
"Your soul is a small price to pay for true happiness, what do you desire?"
Right there I made my wish,
and before I could barely finish,
a contract pulled up and I scrawled my name.
Keenan MacKay.
After a short while he showed me those knives again,
those reflective blades that refuse to show the whole picture,
a metallic and deceptive smile.
And I smiled back.
For with my wish,
my plea for ultimate power,
I struck him down.
I made him afraid.
And as he cowered in the corner,
I took back my soul and walked away.
But not before I scratched at his feet.
"The Keenan giveth, and the good Keenan taketh away."