Best Funnytoday Poems
We await the daily mail delivery with eager anticipation.
Alas, today came another batch of worthless information!
Of course there were the usual bills that arrive without fail,
But where's the check that guy promised would be in the mail?
We've received more return mailing labels than we'll ever use.
How our names got on their mailing lists, I have no clues.
To top it all, a summons for jury duty was today received.
Now that really ruined my day and left me sorely aggrieved!
A startling piece of mail from a realtor wanting to sell the house.
Thinking I had something to do with that really upset my spouse!
A blatant ad from a vinyl siding contractor wanting to make a sell.
Interesting we should receive that since in a brick house we dwell!
Another envelope had alarming news from the local funeral home.
Do they know something we don't know about a trip to the Celestial Dome?
Our life insurance company sent their usual annual birthday greeting,
Breathing a sigh of relief that our hearts are both still beating!
Lord have mercy and deliver us from this onerous perdition!
Curtailing this stuff would certainly improve our disposition.
On the computer I can simply stop such stuff by clicking 'delete'.
Oh, for such a simple system to make junk mail less replete!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Sebastian said Dim Whitty,
So as to make this funny
I asked the coach and said
"Honey...Who's on First?"
Coach said eYes!
And I got that part. Write.
Costello asked for the bat
Said he loved the game so
Coach gave him That.
Confused as can be, he swung
it round almost hitting me!
But missed he did when he
hit his own head and said...
that he still couldn't see.
Man wears a bowlers cap.
Indeed.
Who drops the ball so the
runner goes two seconds and
then to thirds. I don't know,
that's just what I heard as
I skirted around to base 3.
“Run Forrest, Today is
catching me!” I heard the
ball cry as it flew on by, hit
by the Bat to be Cause!
I Don't Care said I Don't Know
and so, the game was ended.
Short Stop got an attitude.
..... but I like the game .....
I said to Coach, rename them
in the field. I'll take that bat
and his hard felt hat and we'll
see what a girl can yield.
Who's on first
sWhich two seconds and
What is replaced on 3?
Lefty's out in a field and Why?
Be Cause, the center is Hers
I said, How, Tomorrow can't
throw and Today knows nothing,
it's beyond my comprehension.
New Batter is up and Again I
mention... It's Time Two play.
With. A Team called Woman.
Form:
Tomorrow doesn't really exist
Please listen to what I say
Today is all there really is
it never goes away.
To say "I'll do something tomorrow"
is wrong, please let me explain
once the big hand passes midnight
by God, it's today again.
Nothing gets done tomorrow
it always gets done today
once 24 hours passes by
then it was done yesterday.
So don't plan to do "it" tomorrow
cause "tomorrow" just doesn't exist
do it today if it needs to be done
I'm not asking my friend - I insist.
Well that's enough of this silly charade
if you believe it, you have my sorrow
for me, today's been a pretty good day
but I'm hoping" it's better TOMORROW!