Best Deviled Poems
Bless the deviled eggs and the preacher’s children.
Grab a piece of fried-to-perfection chicken.
Coca-cola cake or banana pudding?
~ Prodigals welcomed
January 29, 2019
Sapphic Stanza with a JUX Poetry Contest
Craig Cornish, Sponsor
Oh baneful yellow Moon in fullest rounded sphere,
Bright as Summers Buttercups in abundant yield,
Coldly riveted upon Winters beaten, thin silvered panels;
Thereof: By ye mighty hammer doth great thoth wield!
For what fearful trowel gouged out thine far flung valleys
Whilst piling high upon yon monstrous heights?
Wherest, scattering the bare pebbles, a ghostly sower
Coursing across vast cratered plains under Selenian moonlights.
Here once didst thou swelling tides ever invade long vanished shores
Dragged upon by some dwindling, exploded, far distant star;
An atmosphere girdling, warming and nurturing -
Torn from this barren rock and cast way out afar!
Eternally ostracized and deviled, adorned in black swirling robes;
Drifting angular grains heaped - raked by hot solar winds;
Your desolate kingdoms lit in all seasons under heavenly lanterns;
Worshiped and foully cursed upon: for any amount - and all manner of sins.
And ere did erstwhile lovers that ever come forth on bended knee,
To traverse the pale beams that twist about the crooked stiles,
Pledge well intended oaths beneath high, impossible windows:
Their grandly draped balconies and balustrades bathed in luminosities wiles.
When across the recorded centuries of histories misted-veiled years,
from the quill of the old sage, from the high lilt of the bard,
Your pensive countenance disaffected and of a cheerless tilt -
Hanging upon sharply crested vestiges of reckless disregard!
The picnic was set for today:
A cause for two hips and hooray.
With Split and Blueberry,
Their time would be merry
That’s if nothing got in their way…
The deviled eggs had to come first,
‘Cause a picnic without them’s the worst.
They proceeded to beg
The hens for some eggs,
And boiled them when they were submersed.
But when Bat and Gat started to pack,
Their picnic plans went off the tracks.
It was almost Bat’s fault,
Since the pepper and salt
Hadn’t made it yet into the sack.
The only thing they had to do
Was to pick up their friends Split and Blue.
With a rabbit and goat,
And their deviled egg tote,
They could hike to the overlook view.
Well, the eggs made a pretty nice spread
When added to Split’s honey bread.
But, sitting down eating,
An unwelcome greeting
Then filled them with terror and dread.
’Twas the sound of a huge rattlesnake;
What a racket that rattle did make!
Though none could find him
Out front or behind them,
Poor Blue and Split started to shake.
Then Gat sprung away like the breeze,
And spied him from up in the trees.
She pointed to Bat
Where the rattler was at,
And told everyone else to freeze.
Yikes, the snake tried to strike at his knees;
Bat evaded his strike with great ease.
Quick did a side-stepper,
And doused him with pepper,
And the rattlesnake started to sneeze!
Well, that was the end of the battle;
They all could now safely skedaddle.
The pepper, in fact
Brought such an attack
That his sneezes set off his rattle!
They all walked home in the sun,
And all had turned out to be fun.
An eggcellent day!
Yes, hip, hip hooray!
Bat and Gat, hero cats, number one!
[ to the tune of We’re off to see the Wizard
from the musical Wizard of Oz ]
If you’ve not had fried gizzard,
you’ve never had southern at all.
The same is true of chicken-fried steak
or vinegar-based cole slaw.
If you’ve never tried hot zucchini bread,
banana pudding, pimento spread,
okra, chow chow, turnip greens or cheese straws,
moon pie, sweet tea, shrimp and grits, deviled eggs.
(dum-dum-dum, dum-dum, dum-dum)
If you’ve not had fried gizzard,
you’ve never had southern at all.
EASTER DINNER
they liked the one behind me
the teal and black checkerboard
its sparkling tiles on the diagonal
red, yellow, blue, pink pillows
on sofas and chair
the sunrise was unsympathetic
like the cross, but the service
was cozy for Easter Sunday.
remember how it was raining yesterday?
they liked the one behind me
with framed women and palms
i’d have to look over my shoulder
see the eyes of the beholders
steadily for twelve hours plus
prepping the whole affair
can you smell the onions and peppers
the beginnings of love
they liked the one behind me
with the blue and pink sky,
red roses fanned out, ferns,
and modern art on display
stirred the flour, salt,
nearly a dozen eggs
and water, still needed
more water
they liked the one behind me
with the great picture window,
the surf and sail, red and white
striped shell, a book, and
a cocktail with straw
chicken - legs and breast
red and white wine
no deviled eggs - tossed
toadstool radishes
they liked the painting
it drew them in
i liked that they liked it
wonder if they saw
the red parakeet?
even the beach chairs are red
did they spy all the red things
obviously I’ve counted
most everything
that is behind my back
and in front of me
4/9/2023
All right you stupid ornery little egg
This has gone JUST about far enough
I order you to peel this very second!
Why? Could you just tell me why?
After all I did for you too
Placed you carefully in cold water
(Along with seven of your little buddies)
Turned the heat on ever so gently
Added a a half cup of vinegar
Bought you to a nice healthy boil
Let you have a good soak for 20 minutes
Ran soothing, cool water over you
Cracked your little booty open SO gently
And what, What do I get in return?
A whole lotta heartache that's what!
Well how does THIS feel ya little...
How's it feel to be SMashed on-the-FLOOR
And GRound into the TILE with my heel and...
No wait! Did I? Oh no I didn't do...
It was an accident I swear to GOD it was!
I get these weird muscle spasms ya know?
Does this mean no deviled eggs today?
I'm devastated and TOTALLY crushed
And it’s obvious that you are too
Hope this doesn’t get back to your mom...
Smooth white orbs, halved and emptied
Golden centers mashed
Mayo, pickle juice combined
Half orbs mounded high
Paprika adorned
Won't last long
Eat!
11/21/11
For Gwen and Tony's Thanksgiving Epulaeryu Contest
I am thankful for my salvation.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Summer Cooking
Loud cheerful sounds are heard under a pavilion
as family has united for a family reunion.
Always held in shorts and swimsuit summer weather
in a park surrounded by a forest of evergreens and a snaking river.
It's always potluck, so there is always plenty of food to go around.
Deviled eggs, a variety of pasta salads, and mounds of potato salads,
barbecue hamburgers and hot dogs, fried chicken,
smoked venison, fish, and wild hog.
A choice of wonderful, sinful, yummy desserts,
and ice coolers full of a variety of drinks.
Family reunions, a great time to see both familiar
and new faces and catch up on the latest gossip of everyone's lives.
7/2/2018
Poetry Contest: A Poem NA'd in a July Contest (Judged July 1-24, 2018)
Sponsored by: Dear Heart a.k.a. Broken Wings
N/A Summer Cooking 7/19/2018
Apple crumb and angel food cakes
Butterscotch banana shakes
Chili, Chinese, cheese, and chips
Doughnuts, deviled eggs and dips
Éclairs, English fish and chips
Fudge, fondue, fritters and French crepes
Guacamole, gumdrops, frosted grapes.
Hash browns, hot dogs, ham and honeyed scones
Italian food and ices, ice cream cones
Jelly rolls and jelly beans
Kish kabobs and Krispy kremes
Lemon pies, lasagna, luau barbecue
Mexican, mac and cheese, and spicy meatballs too
Nachos, noodles, nutty things
Oatmeal cookies, onion rings
Pizza, popcorn, party spreads
Quickie burgers and quick breads
Rum raisin ice cream, roasted meats
Spaghetti, shepherd’s pie, and sweets
Tacos, tuna, teriyaki,
Upside down cake. Are you hungry?
Veggie soups (though some are awful)
Waldorf salad, won tons, waffles
X-tra servings, Xmas treats
Yogurts sprinkled, yams baked sweet
Zucchini’s all that’s left to eat!
(for the new Anything Goes contest)
of all the sandwiches there are to eat
why does one taste like defeat
it's nothing that i ever craved
just something my mom made
egg salad
yuck
a hamburger or sloppy joe
baloney or meatloaf cold
ham or grilled cheese
BLT if you please
tuna salad or deviled ham
even open up that can of spam
pimento cheese or barbecue
even chicken salad would do
turkey chicken fry an egg
almost anything made of pig
don't forget the p and j
hot dogs are here to stay
meatball or tasty italian
irish corn beef or classic rueben
roast beef or patty melt
steak and cheese will make me shout
before you grind that cute lamb
i am okay with bread and jam
but egg salad is rather plain
of all sandwiches it's mundane
but now mom has passed away
i eat egg salad on her birthday
Eggs Benedict Arnold?
Crown Roast from a King?
Shepperd's Pie?
For this he's died?
Pie Alamo?
Does Davey Crockett know?
Stewed tomatoes?
Just who got them drunk?
Limberger cheese?
Our aviator hero stunk?
We seem to find ourselves,
Eating some weird stuff,
Don't you think it's time....
To say we've had enough?
Just one egg left so what should I do
how should I devour you
Eat it raw with Tabasco sauce
chopped in a salad freshly toss
Fry it but how over-easy is fun
sunny side up but don't want it to run
Eggs Benedict with creamy Hollandaise sauce
simple fried egg sandwich would be boss
Egg salad creamy and good
poach it just right like you should
Deviled eggs are a heavenly treat
never can an omelet be beat
Hard or soft boiled just right
scramble with butter fills the appetite
An airy souffle' melts on the tongue
a golden custard pleases everyone
Make a quiche with bacon spinach and cheese
frittatas have everyone shouting, please
Separate the white from the yolk
come on now this ain't no joke
One little egg the possibilities galore
better go to the store and get a dozen more
It is the day before the day,
of Thanksgiving Eve,
and the kitchen is steaming,
cooking vittles to eat.
Possum, and Armadilla,
hope we have enough,
last year we had complaints,
the meat was to tough.
Corn on the cob,
steaming the room,
in run the cats,
chase them out with the broom.
Deviled eggs,
oh man the smell,
grandma had to look,
at the little ones tail.
Potatoes slightly burned,
we'll just scrape that off,
Aunt Julie's got the flu,
gee, what a cough.
Pallets on the floor,
we're all wall to wall,
three days, and counting,
we're having a ball.
Hope your day is happy,
as the gang piles in,
from our house to yours,
welcome, family, and friends.
A lovable person
Beautiful smile
Cute face, chunky waist
Deviled mind
Enhanced intellgence
Filled with happy times
Gentle tender kisses
Held by you
In a
Jar filled with
Kiddy games we
Loved to play
Months before it got to late
Numbers lost
Over time while
Painted notes of ours
Quest to
Run in colored
Seas
Torn apart in
Unrated love
Vowels
Washed with
Xs and Os
You sealed with a
Zeolus kiss that we both miss
The veterans were lined up by the casket,
my family in the front row
not a dry eye except for mine
Perhaps some see it as I didn't care
for lack of tears
yet it would be an act of disrespect
and someone had to represent
My Mama was a bit different
She had to be to send me away the day my Dad died
To try to mourn elsewhere
And so it goes still today, I'm last
to attend the family functions if at all
Like for example when I came in on Thanksgiving
Everyone had eaten, the turkey was stripped
the dishes stacked, and what was left of dinner was on the table
I thought it to be amazing that my own family had forgotten the Native Americans
I politely walked to the table, oh, what is this I said, stuffing, and there's the mashed potaoes! There's the cranberry sauce, and the deviled eggs and pumkin pie...
Looks like were celebrating Pilgrims Day today! As I grabbed the turkey leg, pulling it off
Well, may as well have a festive event! Kind of like a renaisance! taking a big bite
Different can be good at times, but generally not accepted within the family