Sit and buy me a pale ale
while I regale you with
a tale written in braille
by a man stale in jail with
no avail to raise bail.
Curtail the detail ~ suffice it to say
how a frail male whale wailed when
again and again failed dislodging
a rusty nail impaled in its tail.
Not to derail but meanwhile
across the vale, a snail and quail
hightailed it but strayed off their trail ~
Once all were put up for sale,
t’was the female who tipped the scale.
It’s not much of a tale but
thanks for the ale, it was tasty.
Inhale ~ now let's enjoy an upscale cocktail.
Lineku: 3 stanzas of 5-7-5 lines ~ each line has 5 or 7 words
AP: Honorable Mention 2025
Dull endless sights and slow restless nights
Oh the magnitude stifles the eyes
Parboiled schemes and tar soiled dreams
Soon your rifle attitude replies
Quick Draw McGraw, we know, you've done it all
That means your temper is semper tonight
You're so quick on the draw, how quickly they fall
When each night in some bar room you fight
Your throttle's in red, beer bottles and lead
Slinging bullets and bottles of brew
One's quicker with lead, and you find yourself dead
Just a stranger that nobody knew
To his shame and dismay,
he drank beer all that day;
never did get to the funeral –
held up, he said, at a urinal.
L uscious liquid
U ndulates in the pouring
B ubbles to tickle
R ibs from the
I nside out with a golden
C alming, cooling composure effect
A lcohol free (sometimes) yet
N ever disappoints especially during
T hermal reduction as a bonus
Spring is sprawling
out there somewhere
in a Bikini on a Beach
drinking Beer
toes in the sand
glass in hand
while snowflakes are falling
and winter's still here
then when good old
sunny summer comes
(and swallows do too)
oh to go Barefoot
in a Boat on the sea
Barbecue in the garden
play Ball in the park
fun in the sun 'til evening twilight
lowers the night a curtain of dark
"It's RUBY TUESDAY night" declared Charlie.
Why do yer call it that when it's ruby murray for curry?" retorts Steve.
"It's coz we 'ave it on Tuesdays that's why mate" replies Charlie.
Steve shakes his head "But Charlie, we do 'ave it on Saturday nights too."
Charlie laughs."Last one your ANGIE cooked, my guts felt like WILD HORSES were stampeding inside and lets say it wasn't quiet the TUMBLIN' DICE coming out the other end either."
"Too much info there Charlie boy and if she hears yer say that you'll get more than a clip round the ear, bunch of fives more like. You still helping me decorate Jades bedroom this weekend? She wants us to PAINT IT BLACK" asks Steve.
"Black? ain't that gonna be dark and make it feel smaller?" Charlie asks.
Steve sighs "Yeah, probably, it's her space so she can have it. Not my choice but YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT even in yer own house when yer surrounded by HONKY TONK WOMEN. Anyway, gotta get this splinter out that's UNDER MY THUMB from sanding down the skirting. Sort that, grab a beer and play THE ROLLING STONES cd the Mrs got for me birthday. See ya later mate".
That day on Earth was filled with fun,
The weather was mild and clement.
The sun beamed down with gentle grace,
Cool air had just chased off the rain.
That party brimmed with food and beer,
We drank more than we ought to drink.
There wasn’t a single sober soul,
Not even the one meant to drive.
Still, we had homes we had to reach—
He drove, though steeped in alcohol.
Then came the crash, brutal and swift—
Not even one of us survived.
The burial came sudden and prompt,
Tears streamed as grief rent through the air.
"Too young to die!" the mourners wailed,
Bodies laid stiff, devoid of soul.
Four graves gaped wide to swallow whole—
The dug-out clay their final roofs.
Left for the ants to feast upon,
Till silence hushed all mortal wails.
Then angels came before Satan,
Carefully choosing whom to claim:
Some to hellfire, some to heaven—
That's how we stopped living with men.
Contest title: By accident
Contest Judged: June 23rd, 2025 2:48:00 PM
Sponsored by: Kai Michael Neumann
Placement: First
who had quaffed his beer shall make quagmire underneath is not wise at all
Bartender, bring me a Pink Fuzz
in a tall frosted glass
It's going down velvety smooth
so cold refreshing and citrusy
love its grapefruit aftertaste
that lingers on the tongue
It makes my head feel light
it's magical and so delightful
brewed to perfection
achieving mild intoxication
Pink Fuzz a celebration in a glass
cheers ~ summer is finally here !!
AP: 3rd place 2025
O’ fluid friend,—
—O’ liquid lover, please
embrace me, soothe my sootheless, stranded soul—,
—caress my restless thoughts, and set them still.—
O’ sap of spirit,—
—sweet sip of ambrose!
O’ potent potion,—
—O’ magic mixture, daze
me, dazzle me, nuzzle me, numb my frill
fringes |— —| Droll Dame, find me a drooling fool.—
O’ nectar of the night,—
—dose me for a doze…
Keep me cohere,nt and comp,osed—‘sxcu,se me—
I’m stumblin’ on your slippy words,(I meant
mine,—ours?)and now you sweep me to the flo,or.
…
O’ fluke of fortune!, wicked whiskey’s woe!,
why wrong you me thus?, morn’s scalding sun askant
breaks blaring through my window,— head — aches — …sore.
Beer’s yellow hue
reminds me of what
I’m forced to do
after I’ve had a few.
In snow my dog and I
leave yellow clues,
and passers-by can’t tell
whose is whose.
They gather where the signs hang crooked,
under gaslight glare and broken clocks,
where the barkeep’s eyes are twin shot glasses—
fogged, but watching.
Gin Lane rolls in on tired boots,
her laughter sharp as shattered glass.
Beer Street hums a fatter tune,
slumped in booths of sticky leather.
They meet at the hinge of last call,
where poetry is slurred and prophets mumble.
A jukebox wails old revolutions
to a crowd too drunk to notice.
The walls are graffiti'd with regrets,
phone numbers of ghosts,
and chalked-up debts no one will ever pay.
Outside, the world is coughing up history,
but in here, time stirs with a muddler.
The bar is a church with no god,
only spirits, and the faithful who sip them.
Some come to forget,
others to remember louder.
A woman in red sings with her back to the room.
A man orders another round
and trades his name for a tab.
Everyone claps when the glass breaks.
Midnight hits like a bottle to the head—
the bouncer shrugs,
Beer Street staggers,
Gin Lane pirouettes into the dark.
A brew-loving guy from Kilkenny
is mad! His wife spent their last penny--
on a cask of green beer?
No, she hopes to bring cheer
with green cookies~~poor clueless Jenny!
If you're in a bar, you can always order,
many brands of beer from south of the border.
The three biggest brands any connoisseur would know,
include Corona, Dos Equis, and Modelo.
However, tariffs will make us pay mas dinero.
Yes, we will pay more for cerveza mexicana,
while we reside in the United States of America.
Quote By Poet "March will start Spring off with a big smile."
March is a great time of the year,
St. Patrick's Day they serve green beer.
Four leaf clovers bunnies are hopping,
let's go green dress shopping.
Pretty flowers are now blooming,
the green grass needs grooming.
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