Batman Poems

Batman And Robin

For Sir Brian Strand's 1405 Single Footle Poetry Contest 

23 August 2025 


glide wide,
side ride.

Batman and Robin

Wardrobe malfunction for Robin,
resorting to needle and bobbin ~
mishap happened behind a church
leaving Batman high in a lurch.



AP: Honorable Mention 2025

Bio-Ballade

She was happy to hear that drizzles
had made the pollen more tollerable.
She had been saddened by the large amounts of pollen
that made herr eyes red and caused her
to sneeze. Blowing into her bassoon became
a chore
due to the fact her nose was sore and sneezing
bothered her.
When the rains began she smiled:
she wiped
the dust and pollen off

Things My Child Said

It is quite common to kiss 'ouchys' on those wee.
At three, my son asked to have bath autonomy.
I tossed a washcloth, then stood where he could not see.
Soon, he called out with words that completely shook me,
"Mom, it washed red and sore, please come kiss my pee-pee."

Shopping, strolling him down the grocery store aisle
where female

If Batman was radioactive and bit a bat

See if you gave an E to Batman
Would he be hyper vigilant

Cat Lady Be Mine

Reputation is what others say about us, character is what we know about ourselves.  Don’t be enslaved by what others say about you—Robert N Gorelick

Cat Lady Be Mine

Tall and svelte, kind and discrete
Lovely single cat lady strolls up my street
Some folks are just crabby
I love you and your tabby!
Cat lady be mine and life

Riddles

Riddles
Riddle me this Batman:
what is the middle of a fat man?
Is there anything clean
about a garbage can?
If two can dance
can Toucan Sam?
Is beige the same as ecru or tan?
Why
-does it come between ex and zee?
Is the alphabet
a good bet,
or is beta better?
Are you meant to sweat
when you wear a sweater?
Or for that matter
pant in pants?
Or

I Refuse to Teach Macbeth When It's Forty Degrees Outside

King Duncan wouldn't allow it
Chin sweat and air conditioning 
Sending me into a linguistic shaming spiral

Flavoursome mints and sparkling water
Won't fix this wet nightmare
Telling the steps to SHUT UP

Sock sniffer
Chemical bomb leather shoes
Armpits oceaning

Give me Nigeria 
Or the jungle
Where the birds don't sing

My wife has been reading The Return of the Native for ten years
But

Invisible

Invisible

Ah to fly
Like Superman
And save the day once more
Or X-Ray rescue captives
As I laser-melt the door 

Perhaps I climb 
Tall towers
And swing without a care
Between the skyline scrapers
Catching villains in a snare 

Or my muscles flex
In latex
City restoration is the goal;
As I zoom around in vehicles like
Some dark knight of the soul 

A metal suit
Protects

The Batman Movie

The Batman Movie (a review). 

The clues part was cool, but the end of it got boring. I liked that Batman kept a journal - I like the idea of men keeping journals, because, do men have many thoughts they share? Men’s thinking seems so ephemeral.

In this Batman resurrection, Pattinson’s Bruce Wayne & Batman are

Lets Get Batman Real

Get Batman real
He grabs the bad guys who steal
Now here is the deal
Would Batman have slight appeal
Without his fine Batmobile?

Green Batman Clock Man

I saw him standing on the limb and I wondered about his sanity.
The last time I had seen Green Bat Clock Man was on my vanity.
I’ll jump! He yelled to the crowd of robins gathered around to stare.
I watched him do an entirely crazy summersault high jump in the air.

He’s chained! Ted yelled; He’ll break

Batman Goes Bisexual

Even cartoon characters must go Woke?
Guess Tinsel Town must be broke ?

Close all the churches, why, yes!
There is no sin anymore, I sadly, guess.

The only sin is, if you dare to think...
If you are not Woke, you frankly,stink!

On sites, you dare express yourself?
You get insulted and set on a shelf.

Get out the Woke Gestapo Uniforms.
Out

Tommy Lee Jones 1995

simply is simple 
I wish I might feign
I wish I might go
to stumble
to quake
simply is something
I feign I might die
I feign I might rise
to reverie
to time
simple is simply is simple is not
to close
to open
to get the maestro out

Hero

Hero 

I know who you are
Your secret is busted 
My spider sense tingles
It can always be trusted 

The bad guys are nervous
They can't see through your glasses
All evil's on hold 
While you're kicking their asses 

And though your invincible status is real
The people who know 
See the pain that you feel 

For the toughened exterior

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