Before I start this poem, I seek
To acknowledge that I sit on the land of the Wequaeesgeek
And that my laptop, at which I peer through thick glasses
drowns islands in the Pacific with greenhouse gases.
I know life has always given me the edge
Due to my Jewish Ashkenazi privilege.
And being male I'm in the patriarchy
At the top of the oppressive hierarchy.
I apologize for my pronoun being 'he'
At least it could have been 'they' or 'we'.
I apologize that all these apologies are fake
And for the real apologies that I didn't make.
Now back to my poem, it occurred at night
I can't let that idea fade, take flight
I didn't have a pen; I should have written it quick
I've lost the thread and now I feel sick.
I went to Carolina in my mind
to see what I could find.
Oh, but it was awesome -
the Carolina possum.
No Apologies,
For putting ecology,
Before ideology,
Before monopoly,
Before Duopoly,
Before Stupidity.
No Apologies,
For putting kindness,,
Ahead of selfishness,
Ahead of shrewdness,
Ahead of ruthlessness,
Ahead of thoughtlessness,
Ahead of heartlessness.
No apologies,
For sharing,
For caring
For helping,
For singing,
For laughing.
No apologies,
For cooking up a storm,
For finding my new norm,
For giving others room,
For finding time to dream,
No apologies,
For being me,
Not wanting to hurt a bee,
No replica of you will I be,
Nor will I try to turn you into me,
As I am setting you free,
To see what you can be,
Without me.
I've apologized all my life
for things I've never done
the wrongs that were never wrong
that's how you've made me feel
guilty,
embarrassed
for a lack of better words
Apologies From the Tower
Gotten good at your Readings
You laid out the cards one day
And asked them:
What do I bring to our marriage?
Answer: The Tower
Agent of Chaos
Destruction
Change
Disorder
I'll not deny it.
Drunken Sot.
Intellect Without Plan.
Ego Sans Merit.
All of these I am,
Because of which
The Tower trembles.
It trembles for itself.
I'm not sure how to fix all this;
Not sure if I can.
But the Tower cannot stand alone.
It needs a Keeper.
To keep that Keeper
It shall look out from itself,
Far Afar
Until it finds a brighter future
To keep standing for.
So Apologies from the Tower -
Though much battered by itself
It still wants to stand
With its long suffering Keeper
In the Sun,
In your Sun.
Ten thousand apologies do no good
should the offense injure me
Delicate, the affairs of my heart
~ think before you cleave them apart
Simple graceful words
that some people find so hard
to part from their lips
Heard in so many situations,
when other words would suffice
(e.g., excuse me please)
tho' it's not a nice word
they're only trying to be nice
covering a multitude of sins
and every eventuality
accomplishing nothing nobody wins
without it and the obligatory
British cure-all cup of tea
as found in the board game
by Elizabeth J. Magie (1866 – 1948) Monopoly
somewhat similar to 'Hail Mary'
'Sorry!' seems to be
the perennial English card
to 'get out of jail free'
and if from the English language
the word from removal were to succumb
much if not most of the United Kingdom
would sadly be struck dumb
Where do all the apologies go
The ones unheard, unspoken of
Do they haunt the houses they can't move on from
Do they move through the walls
Waiting for the calls
Of the broken ones
Or do they accept they are forever trapped behind these doors
Waiting to be revealed
Waiting to be accepted
Wanting to restore
A love that had been buried behind these walls
Apologies are supposed to be loud
To echo a love that is proud
The house was empty
In the silence it carried
Filled with a family
That acted like strangers
What once was a house of love
Was now a house full of secrets
Embedded within the houses structure
Not even destruction
Could unearth the the truth
Hidden for so long
So what happens to all of the apologies?
And will they ever leave?
Apologies
If I say I'm sorry
I will get my way
Your thinking to sway
Apology to look good
Narcissism under the hood
For me everyone will root
Apology to provoke guilt
Creates self-doubt to the hilt
Blame to you will shift
Apologies made from half truth
My own feelings to soothe
Everyone thinks I stand on truth
Apologies to put it in the past
Knowing fake peace won't last
Over you a shadow will cast
Apologies made but nothing changes
To break you down in stages
Slowly your mind deranges
Apologies not from the heart
When you never state your part
Will always tear us apart
By Cathrin Stuart
I lied, never told you the truth—
I never loved you,
my beloved Ruth.
Forgive me, if it's possible,
for the things I did impossible.
Cold blood, so bold,
seeping through my veins.
If I could hold
you, and ease your pains.
Though I'm not sane,
and sound mostly insane,
I can be the wisest—
to hold you the tightest.
I can't promise to fix
what's broken inside,
gloomy guilt and shame mix,
picking up the pieces, sitting beside.
Hoping for the best,
for you—releasing the rest.
Go, live your life,
be somebody else's wife.
You deserve someone who
would give the world to you.
Forgive me, I couldn't be
the one to see
the love, the proof, the truth
in your eyes, my lovely Ruth.
Everybody has a cloud.
and if you'll permit,
on mine, you are not allowed.
Please get off of it.
My apologies for making something so small into something so big
My apologies for hurting your ego because I don’t know how to deal with my own emotions
My apologies
I love you so much
You can push my buttons on cue
What else can I do?
I overreact and I push your buttons
I don’t want to but I love you
I believe in you
I might not show it in the exact way you want but I’m head over heels for you
I said the things I said
I did the things I did but make no mistake
You’re the only man I want in my bed
My apologies for loving you so hard
It’s all I know
I love hard or I don’t love at all
My apologies for my ways
I’ll take you on any day
I don’t care what anyone says
My apologies for hurting you
My apologies for making something so small into something so big
My apologies for hurting your ego because I don’t know how to deal with my own emotions
My apologies
I love you so much
You can push my buttons on cue
What else can I do?
I overreact and I push your buttons
I don’t want to but I love you
I believe in you
I might not show it in the exact way you want but I’m head over heels for you
I said the things I said
I did the things I did but make no mistake
You’re the only man I want in my bed
My apologies for loving you so hard
It’s all I know
I love hard or I don’t love at all
My apologies for my ways
I’ll take you on any day
I don’t care what anyone says
My apologies for hurting you
An abstract dull spirit, amorphous and loose,
Cloudy and irate, possessing the even soul,
Haunts the frail mind and body on the whole
Of the one who fervently chases a wild goose
Firmly believing the strange enigmatic world
Of fancy to be real and divine, demanding all
Venturesome feats such as a sacrificing fall,
And even the human nature whirled or furled,
Or ,lost cornered in a traceless, mazy cavern
Letting the conscience search for the deep
Hurt ego , in pretext and unwilling to return,
But still making a play out of vanity steep:
The worldly Eden has far greater things to seek,
Know,feel selflessly and be Nature's bit, meek .
(Apologies to Shakespeare's sonnet 126)
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