Not now please
Don't talk about death
To me
Because I still grieving
The loss of my love ones
The past away so fast
I was not expecting this to happen
But I don't have any control of that
My Father is in control of that
We will not going to live forever
Because we need to die
I am not looking forward to die
That I must tell you
Midlife storm unspools
urgency tears at the seams
burnout looms heavy—
the answer is not to stop
but to pause, to wait a while
At red lights I breathe
blue sky outshines the phone's glow
decisions can wait
till I drink my tea in peace
calling quietude a win
Time widens within
less pressure, less urgency
a softer wisdom
the truest grace is to say—
Yes, and not No, but not Now
mesmerizing
the playful glitter
of ondulating waves
the sun beckons
come and play ~
there may not be another day
AP: Honorable Mention 2025
A familiar
Roadway suggesting
Stories associated
With a past
And a boyhood
Character in what
Seems happening
Not then and
Not now...
(On other platforms I have posted a photo accompanying this poem. Poetry Soup could greatly improve the impact of poetry submissions by providing an easy way to post a photo to accompany the words...)
Have you ever reached
into that bag of goodies
that is your life
and experienced
that tummy-dropping sensation
when you find it
to be a tad empty
a little short-handed
not containing what you need
for your current situation
and everything
absolutely everything
becomes one massive
all pervasive
reverberating echo
making you feel
positively, undoubtedly
unable to cope
and in your mind
all you can hear
pulsing
over and over
is a great big disbelieving
“Not now, please not now!!”
and then
you pucker up
pull your shoulders back
ignore the smell
and scrape the burnt
top layer of toast into the sink
leaving the deluge of burnt crumbs for later
‘cause hey
we all love a good ole buttery crunch.
Do I wish you dead,
rather than merely dying?
You see, if you were gone
now, oh now,
not remaining then,
not here at a future time,
with lasting misery,
it would be no longer.
It could be
gone, gone, gone,
and I should have time
once the gravity of grieving
had become something that was
then, then, then
rather than
now, now, now.
(April 2022)
There are moments when I wish
I thought like a very young child;
No past,
present or future.
Only now
and not now.
Time; meaningless, painless.
No yesterday; no dark memories
waiting in the hidden corners
of the few fond ones.
Silent, predatory.
No today; no mistakes to make,
words misunderstood;
by accident or calculation.
Bruising, bloody.
No tomorrow; no roads ahead
with twists and turns;
demons around each bend.
Dangerous, lonely.
Only now
and not now.
Time; meaningless, painless.
I: Fear. A lot of fear.
You: Get rid of it.
I :Pain. A lot of pain.
You : Do not focus.
I: Then?
You : Look at me.
I looked . With a vague try.
I am learning to be emotionless
And I am shivering to touch the emotion.
I told myself another story. Not now. It is not time yet.
One day, I will touch the blue sky in your eyes.
Will it be too late? Then?
To be or not to be that remains the question … always.
By Parizo Van Thulare
Bitter or sweet
I'ts life after all
Cherry or chilly
I will find my all
Sunny or stormy
I will stand tall
If sloughy, I will crawl
Steeper or concave
I will find a way even if I fall
This too is temporarily
God ,I will answer when you call
I won't stop now
I accept my fate and all my flaws
You ran scared
And I was enthralled
Thoughts of chasing you
Entered my mind briefly
But maybe you were not the one
My internal thoughts said otherwise
We argued quite powerfully
Which of us had chased you away?
I thought muse scared you
Her imagination way too vivid
Muse thought it was my inability to organize
Matters not now
You are gone and we are not waiting
Going along with our thoughts,
Enjoying whatever feelings you left
Actually developing new ones.
Tah-dah! So as you see we
are still alive and well
When are you coming back?
life
barely a
spark
in
time
flashed past
brief memories
soon forgotten
promises made
to ourselves
loves
the world
still unfilled
new year’s
resolutions
barely edited
from year to year
promises
that take
a moment
to make
a lifetime
to honour
as the
inevitable
end
at accelerating
pace
draws
to a slow or
painful
abrupt
cessation
promises?
if not
now,
when?
The world is what we make it, so let’s make it grand and gold, and glorious.
The universe smiles upon those who send it love, so let’s do that.
My own sweet soul is whispering stuff, but do I listen?
Not now, I say. I am busy.
Too busy to listen to my own soul?
Too busy to help the world become its best self?
Too busy to stand up and cheer loudly for what is right? Even if there are only two of us?
Too busy to listen to my own children?
The universe is loving me, and do I even feel it?
Or am I so self-involved that I do not even feel myself?
Your heart is here for a reason, to guide you.
To let you know when something is wrong.
Something that needs changed.
Something that is taking away from your soul-dream.
Something that is hurting the universe, or the world or you.
Where are the listeners?
I need one.
For long we have sailed in the river of sadness
When and how questions caressing the lips
The nostrils sniffing the odor of violence
Like a country in which average age is deceased
We waited for the day this will be abolished
Smoke of restless wailing to heavens
We wished but to see it end
Beauty too rich
Now nothing but like a withered flower
Face panel beaten with his merciless blows
What wrong did she do?
From where is the anger to punish innocent souls?
With the libido that consider no compatibility
Then yes but not now
Our young girls and women need peace
We now say no to gender based violence
Let tears of joy erode wrinkles off our sad faces
Out of the jungle of fear into the world of hope
A world quarried with women empowerment
Coated in the gold coat of girl education improvement
(True Feelings)
This is not the time to be vulnerable.
For it not part of my life nor in my calendar.
I been through my rough times but had few good ones.
I will never let my past make me vulnerable not now not ever.
Writing these memories was hard indeed.
I buried them so well I forgotten they ever happened.
When you try to make a future for yourself this what's needed
To happen.
For if I didn't then I would be a mentally ill and become crazy
as hell.
You can try to remind what you had put me through father dearest and others.
But I let you know now for doing that I will use it to let know
the truth of you.
You have your world and I have mines while you aging from
All you have done. I will make sure I write the prophecy of all
The nightmare you had caused. I see your followers are not far behind.
With they malpractice and pen and paper on hand.
I will not she'd no tears but become stronger from it all.
in case you didn't know It made me stronger till you become in distress.
The past will never make me become vulnerable, it's not
Part of my calendar nor my life and future bless it be.
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