Zinger Poems

The Bat and the Ball

Modern warriors,
They fight for the home plate.
The bat and the ball,
is what decide their fate.
The people are pumped,
and they all yell and cheer.
In front of thousands,
the heroes with no fear.
Behind on the count,
but here comes the ringer.
Though it may look bad,
he will hit a zinger.
Under the lights and sound,
they come to witness.
The new king of the mound!

Caren Krutsinger

Caren Krutsinger
As a poet, she’s a whimsical humdinger
Her imagination soars to incredible heights
I love her woodland fantasy flights.

Caren Krutsinger
As a wordsmith, she comes up with a zinger
That makes us chuckle with glee
An entertainer par excellence, she’s also free!

Caren Krutsinger
Will be the first to admit she’s not a singer
But she drives much too fast 
And sings with her radio up full blast.  

FIFTH PLACE WINNER
Written November 20, 2022
Brian Strand "Prime" Contest
December 11, 2022

Biblical Betrayal

Zachariah zoned zetetic Zacheus' zeal;
Zizz zooms zinger zombies' zest.

A Brunch Date

A wasp invited me to brunch
Very naïve, I had no hunch
I thought a mimosa quite nice
So I didn’t even think twice
That I might be the wasper’s lunch.

I wore a flimsy silk zinger
No protection from his stinger
What was I thinking, after all,
That bee displayed plenty of gall
I knew enough not to linger.

Just my luck, I got distracted
When wasp, his stinger, impacted
Leaving a welt across my arm
At first, I thought no great alarm
My blood he blithely extracted.

How could I have been so stupid
Without batting of my eyelid
I agreed to brunch with a wasp
Without considering the cost?
Next time I’ll get a second bid!

SIXTH PLACE WINNER
Written June 7, 2022
Entered "Tall Tales 3 Quintilla Fantasy Fiction" Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Jeff Kyser

Woman of God

I am a woman of God but....
She starts every sentence this way
I know there's a zinger of meanness
and it's coming my way;
She does this every time, each and every damned day. 
Hate to tell Woman of God but women of God
Usually do not have to say.

Before Kibbutzing

Spring, spring. spring oh glorious spring
Puts a zing in your zinger, a kibb in your kibbutzing
Great words to live by
A nighttime lullaby
Before off to dreamland with a ding dong ding

On a Philanthropic Attitude

Here I am, waiting around for a topic
  How about 'Philanthropic?'
And I've got to have an attitude
  Well, there's always good ole 'Gratitude'

O.K. -- Let's see: 'Philanthropic.' Hmm...
  If the more you give, the better you feel
Then why not just give away the whole blinkin' deal?

I guess that won't work
  'Coz then you'll need someone philanthropic
Who may have just moved away to the tropics

So, there are limits to Philanthropy
  Though surely there are none to 'Gratitude'
At least, none that occur to this poet dude

Thank you, Merci, Cpacibo, un a Dank
  There are even more in my language tank
Mutsamesk, Gracias, Obrigado, Asante and Tack...

To wrap up this off-beatnik verisimilitude
  Don't be over-philanthropic; you'll end up screwed
    Now there's a zinger of a fine attitude!

Fascinating Palmistry

A mystical cross on the inside of your palm
Means your life is foretold in a glorious psalm.

Lucky bracelet rings around your dainty wrist
Means you were created in energy’s mist.

If you palm looks like she’s been sliced in half
Right down the middle, get the fatted calf.

The lifeline which sails widely around your thumb
Cuts in quite deeply, means you are not too dumb.

The heartline across the top chooses her finger.
If she stops at the pointer, marriage will be a zinger.

Headline in the middle between heart and life
Each nick across indicates a tiny bit of strife.

Stars and whorls, crosses, and well-cut lines.
Palm knowledge is as cherished as Pharaoh’s gold mines.

Very Near, Yet So Far

Amid the mighty waves of peculiar sea
I stood still waiting for you to see me

You took hold of the little girl's shivering hand
And made her dance among the waves away from the shore sand

I remained silent, building a sand castle,
Collecting shells and was finally worn to a frazzle.

I noticed your footsteps and felt your breath
With divine love, I walked to you with a pearl wreath.

You caught hold of my hand and played with my finger
At once, the mighty wave greeted my heart with new zinger

It's the joy
Eye-kissing joy
Heart sweetening joy

You are here beside me
Very near, yet so far.

I Can, But Should I

I cried on a pale tree within my reach
Anguish flowed with a life lesson to teach
Though not a swinger
Here is the zinger
I can truly say I bawled on a beech!

Roy Rogers and Hopalong

Roy Rogers and Hopalong were heroes of mine
Now sex bombs zing my zinger, on their hoohas I dine
My mind goes askew
Lower parts can be viewed
That's disgusting, I take the fifth, a male I'm defined

One Small Zinger

You buy some tickets, make some plans,
Anticipate an outing
But always with an asterisk
For naturally, you’re doubting…

‘Cause life throws curve balls and you can’t
Be looking for straight pitches.
“The best-laid plans,” the saying goes,
Are filled with unknown glitches.

And so you cancel, with a shrug,
The strikeout one small zinger,
As fate delights in pointing
With its well-known fickle finger.

Fun Election Headlines

The First Lady President  

                                        Capitol Hil Meets Mrs. Bill   

                                         Duck! The Donald Won  

                             The Joker Trumps the Queen of Diamond 

                                            HRC Spells Victory 

                                            DJT Spells Victory

                            Orange Jumpsuit Day at the White House

                       Meet Donald Trump the New Apprentice President


If anyone has any good zinger headlines
please feel free to post them, Re: Election Headlines

Langston Two

Langston Two

You sent a zygote zinger
A telegraphed sperm by C&P.
Brown, unborn manchild.
Spirit of secret thought
Quickly caught
By my fertile woman mind.

I saw him today, seventh period
He made boisterous cries
Had thick, virile thighs
And with your questioning eyes
He was reaching
Demanding to 
Be.

I must name him after you
Langston
Two
Endear him with pretense
A literary sense
A dream name
From the “dream man”
For my dream child.
Bewildering blue bundle of foreshadowed fires
Given life by my secret desires.
1976

11/04/16

Old Jewelry or Just Old Things or Old, Old Poems - Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Broken Wings

Affection Values

Affection brings comfort ,displays exquisiteness,
Fascinates   generosity, houses ideal justice, kind-hearted
like Martyrs needed occasionally, professing quietude,
Rebuking savagery towards underclass villeins whereas
x-rated youths zinger.	


Date:9-25-2015

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