Best Zinger Poems
Her tears of sorrow and pain flow along
Tenderly I stroke her hair in my fingers
Her heart is exposed for me to hold strong
She hurts by the world’s events and its throng
The pain she holds seems to always linger
Her tears of sorrow and pain flow along
I offer her my shoulder for to cry on
This thing in her life sure presents a zinger
Her heart is exposed for me to hold strong
I hate to see crying, I hold her hours long
I’m always here for her, she’s a real ringer
Her tears of sorrow and pain flow along
In my heart each tear surely collects upon
Her soul comes out for she is the bringer
Her heart is exposed for me to hold strong
If you think we’re not meant to be, you're wrong
Our love is two harmonious believers
Her tears of sorrow and pain flow along
Her heart is exposed for me to hold strong
Russell Sivey
Hello, January, what a zinger
of a storm you brought with you this year, Friend!
Why can’t you just let December linger?
You know I hate vacation time to end!
I know you think you’re such a special guy,
with people counting down the seconds till
you have arrived and shooting up the sky
with fireworks, but from there, it’s all downhill!!
All those people making resolutions!
You’ve wiped the slate? All things will be like new?
To me, it seems you offer mere illusions,
and yet I keep believing in you too!
I’m begging you, don’t let this year go wrong,
and please get ALL the months to play along!!
: baby, cool, hip hop, nostalgia, passion, word play
Back seat Bingo ©
Groovy hot licks on tubs
Daddy-o’s a finger zinger
That straw boss sure gets down
Get down gates get down
Ah train wreck, take five!
Cool pad to chill
Check out the Chicks
What’s your tale nightingale?
Let’s split this dive and cruise the strip?
Don’t jive me doll are you flat out
eye balling me?
How ‘bout we tour in my classy chassis, Jack?
Let’s haul ass and burn rubber baby
Want to jitterbug or back seat bingo?
Cool your wheels!
Maintenance
There once was a wife who wanted her husband
to maintain every single thing in the house.
"Maintain the plumbing why don't you?" she nagged
And on and on she nags, from sun up 'til sun down.
"Where are my red satin faux fur slippers, she cranked
in unison with, "Oh, bring me Scruffy now!" and "Let's
not forget my Pierre' water boiled with lemon zinger tea.'
Then one day the husband retorted, "I'll maintain the plumbing
as the toilet paper situation needs to improve greatly around here."
And as his voice trails off..."I won't let the door hit me in the a**...
and you'll get
Maintenance!"
A jar of olives in brine…?...
Add zinger or a punchline,
Let your juicy thoughts trickle,
Let your tangy wit tickle.
The title too must be fine.
Dictionary describes the word “dactylion”
As the tip of your middle finger
So if someone gives you the dactylion
They're giving you a zinger!
Have you ever been subjected to “gargalesis”
It's described as heavy tickling
Love being gargalesis in certain areas
Might even involve some licking
Do you know a word that accurately describes
Incessant or idiotic laughter
The dictionary describes it as “abderian”
Shaking the room to the rafters
When someone's eyes start to “oculoplania”
They're assessing someone's charms
I've always called it just plain old ogling
Not meant to cause any harm
The dictionary describes “slubberdegullion”
As a filthy slobbering individual
Known a few of these guys in my time
They leave a quite nasty residual
A person who hates smelling tobacco smoke
Is called a “misocapnist”
That's me for sure I'm surely a misocapnist
Probably number one on the list
And now to end with something distasteful
It's the word “krukolibidinous”
It's the act of staring at someone's crotch
What say you, had enough?
© Jack Ellison 2013
DR. SHUSH'S POETRY CONTEST
This contest isn’t as easy as it looks
The topic is Dr. Shush, his life and books
Send in your un-rhymed senryu
Or enter your well-rhymed haiku
The judges won’t mind
Not that they are really kind or tough
Good rhythm is hard to find
And they never read your stuff
So let’s keep all this hush
Unless you ride a different train
(But in honor of the lively Dr. Shush –
We’d allow frenemies to submit Quatrain)
Next month we will compete with sonnets
The deadline, if I may say, is yesterday
Now, don’t get bees in your bonnets
For it’s not quite April Fool’s Day
Before I go (but not really go away)
May I run this by you, “Parrot Or Pet Poetry”?
For a zinger combo contest, Pet Poems for the next St. Shush’s Day:
Submit Pet Parrot or Pat Parrot, Pat Poetry or Pet Poetry
Tree Parrot or Free Parrot, Parrot Free and Poet Free
Any tree, really – so long as it’s free (ra ra ra! FREE EVERY TREE!)
Poet Tree and Parrotry, or Free Poetry and Tree Poetry;
Last but not least, submit Tree Pets, Three Pats, or Tree Pats and Three Pets
(Just to cover loopholes: allow Parrot pats, Poet Parrots, but no parrot pots)
Poets’ pets, or Poets’ pats, along with Pat Poets and Poet Pets are a hoot –
Petty Poets, Pet potty, plus Pet Pats and Pat Pets. I’m done – Don’t shoot!)
H A P P Y A P R I L F O O L’ S E V E
© Anil Deo 20170331
12/20/21
Ten hut!
Can't let up
Even though, it can get messed up
Really F'd up
Do not get fed up
Keep your head up
Stay sharp, don't get set up
Careful where a disagreement ends up
Heads up!
Many fast to wet up
From the legs up
To the neck up
Bleeding out a color similar to Ketchup
The proof was there or quickly got swept up
Prices continually went up
Falling behind, because you never kept up
Get your bread up
Often in life you'll have to step up
Sped up
Engines revved up
Couldn't let it go, so they dredge up
Old news they spoke and penned up
But I did my homework and read up
So you're about to get shred up
You'll never surface, even after a check up
Kept mine, others went against their own word
Too late to sojourn
At the point of no return
Due to a slow burn
Often went through the wringer
You'd think I've been on Jerry Springer
She wants the whole world and a gem on her finger
Meanwhile around the corner death always lingers
Hit them with another zinger
Hook, line and sinker
As I continue to tinker
Ya'll can be some stinkers
I always put on a blinker
Soon to give up being a daily drinker
Becoming a complex thinker
Avoiding any gold diggers
Feeling vigor
It's time I'm onto something bigger
Don't need to reconsider
Even though many are quick to pull the trigger
People continuing to bicker
Remaining bitter
Known as a fibber
Caught up on twitter
It's been pleasant or gotten sicker
Going well or down the s***ter
Staying clean or full of litter
A whole nation hooked
Easily getting cooked
And forsook
They never caught on or looked
Strength, dedication and heart is what it took
Couldn't find it all from a book
Had to put each foot
Through miles of soot
By the end they were shook
Or tried to portray me as a crook
Not a big fan of dungarees
Getting tired of all this gluttony
Too much redundancy
And puppetry
Still living sucker-free
Yet another attempted to humble me
So I got the upper hand suddenly
Their soul the devil took custody
I continued on triumphantly
Cautious of who's around as company
She's just a tease
And he's such a sleaze
Try to touch my cheese
Then the trigger of a gun I squeeze
Doesn't matter if you run or freeze
I cried on a pale tree within my reach
Anguish flowed with a life lesson to teach
Though not a swinger
Here is the zinger
I can truly say I bawled on a beech!
When I was a but little tiny girl,
my Mama bought me a fine ring to twirl.
One gold ring for my small finger
reminding me of man’s up coming zinger!
My Ring-A-Ling, My Ring- A- Ling, WAIT for ONE man, that’s the thing!
My Ring-A-Ling, My Ring- A- Ling, WAIT for ONE man, that’s the thing!
Then as a prim girl in Catholic school,
I always remembered that “waiting” rule,
and every time that ring I would turn
a naughty boys kisses I would just spurn!
Once while hiding and they playing go seek
up a tree I went and the boys did PEEK!
I beaned them with apples and that ain’t all,
they cried for their Mama’s, what caterwaul!
Now, the moral of this song, well, hear's the thing,
don’t kiss those boys 'TILL YOU'RE WEARING A RING!
And, if you can’t remember you can JUST SING!
I’m waitin' for ONE MAN to give me that thing!;)
My Ring-A-Ling, My Ring- A- Ling, WAIT for ONE man, that’s the thing!
My Ring-A-Ling, My Ring- A- Ling, WAIT for ONE man, that’s the thing!
* Special thanks to CHUCK BERRY!
Gun slinger
Matt Zinger
Dressed in black
Didn't come back
High Noon
Was Doomed
Quick Draw
McGraw
Got A Rope
Hung that dope
Undertaker Called
Dead Body Hauled
Poured the whisky
From Junction 60
Dead Man's Trail
Where slingers failed
Affection brings comfort ,displays exquisiteness,
Fascinates generosity, houses ideal justice, kind-hearted
like Martyrs needed occasionally, professing quietude,
Rebuking savagery towards underclass villeins whereas
x-rated youths zinger.
Date:9-25-2015
Here I am, waiting around for a topic
How about 'Philanthropic?'
And I've got to have an attitude
Well, there's always good ole 'Gratitude'
O.K. -- Let's see: 'Philanthropic.' Hmm...
If the more you give, the better you feel
Then why not just give away the whole blinkin' deal?
I guess that won't work
'Coz then you'll need someone philanthropic
Who may have just moved away to the tropics
So, there are limits to Philanthropy
Though surely there are none to 'Gratitude'
At least, none that occur to this poet dude
Thank you, Merci, Cpacibo, un a Dank
There are even more in my language tank
Mutsamesk, Gracias, Obrigado, Asante and Tack...
To wrap up this off-beatnik verisimilitude
Don't be over-philanthropic; you'll end up screwed
Now there's a zinger of a fine attitude!
The First Lady President
Capitol Hil Meets Mrs. Bill
Duck! The Donald Won
The Joker Trumps the Queen of Diamond
HRC Spells Victory
DJT Spells Victory
Orange Jumpsuit Day at the White House
Meet Donald Trump the New Apprentice President
If anyone has any good zinger headlines
please feel free to post them, Re: Election Headlines
Caren Krutsinger
As a poet, she’s a whimsical humdinger
Her imagination soars to incredible heights
I love her woodland fantasy flights.
Caren Krutsinger
As a wordsmith, she comes up with a zinger
That makes us chuckle with glee
An entertainer par excellence, she’s also free!
Caren Krutsinger
Will be the first to admit she’s not a singer
But she drives much too fast
And sings with her radio up full blast.
FIFTH PLACE WINNER
Written November 20, 2022
Brian Strand "Prime" Contest
December 11, 2022