Once was a lady named Patsy
With wooden leg and eye glassy
She looks both ways
Glassy eye just stays
Often poots for she is quite gassy
scuffs in the pearl white floor
when she leaves the room,
for empty hospital hallway memories,
haze of sterile gloom
like snails, the chronic men
each slowly wear away,
their minds left to trail behind them,
their faces falling into decay
the grey walls with snake green stripes
always constricting them,
the dim fluorescent flicker of the fate
to which they have been condemned.
Rock-a-by my ship,
its merchandise, wandering wardrobe,
my love and I —
to islands of paradise,
short cliffs of happiness,
sea water caves.
I jump precariously —
carelessly, my turn.
I don’t twist an ankle
like the lady without her shoes.
Favored am I, this time
and the next and next and next.
Alas the sea still calls my name
but I’m shore-dry, inland claustrophobiside.
My arms open wide wanting to swallow the ocean tides,
sink into pink and tan sandy pits,
harbors with their tropical sips.
Rock-a-by my ship,
wait for me. I’ll sail with thee,
my wandering wardrobe and my love
eclipsed by the seagull sun and reggae moon,
clip-clop not with a wooden leg but heavenly heels,
slip sliding, swaying; surrendering
senses to salt, bossy breezes,
xanthous rays of caress.
11/27/2020
A nameless pond is drying up.
Miss lily is showing off her green wooden leg.
Extending a green cup toward the clouds.
Green glass frogs are chanting in the shallows.
Red eared sliders turn a wooden potter's wheel.
Then plopping headlong into the green slime.
Death always square dancing toward life.
In the middle of this nameless pond.
When Reggie was in the army
He lost a leg
His fellow soldiers
Renamed him Peg
He was extremely brave
Soon forgot the pain
Although without this limb
He would never be the same again
Jake was a friend
Peg met in the local pub
To have a game of billiards
And a bite of grub
One day when they were talking
Jake mentioned Reggies leg
He asked if Peg could kick a ball
So that they could visit the park instead
Peg agreed so off they went
To play out in the sun
Jake had an advantage over Peg
He had two strong legs
Peg only one
They started to kick the ball
Boy this was fun
Reggie's wooden leg was heavy
It made it difficult to run
But run he did and kicked the ball
It flew up in the air
Jake ran to kick it back
That's when the pair
Collided and fell
Peg landed on top of Jake
What a sight to see
Reggie's peg pierced Jake's ankle
Also twisted his knee
The two men lay on the ground
Suffering great pain
Silently both thinking
We won't play that again
Shakily they got up
Jake feeling a little wimpy
Reggie smiled ruefully
And changed Jake's name to Gimpy
he fought for his country
the freedom of others
and the will to survive
the compounds of war
his friends called him dizzy
because he could spin circles
around thoughts in their heads
while sipping on gin
from tarnished bottles
in smoke filled poker halls
retirement was an afterthought
to survival, when dodging bullets
in never ending wars
that now raid his mind
much like enemies
looking for a prisoner of war
to take back as some trophy
he was never rewarded
for the life he lived
he carries instead scars
resting above his wooden leg
unseen, like his heroic actions
and him as he walks along
alone in a society
that has forgotten his name
august 16, 2019
Bring a character to life Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Richard Lamoureux
There was an old pirate named Greg
Who found a big hole in his keg
With no time remaining
And rum quickly draining
He plugged it with his wooden leg
Now, normally Greg would not balk
But this placed a limp in his walk
Yet each one of his mates
Felt it planned by the fates
That both ship and captain ... should rock.
~ 1st Place ~ in the "Pirate Them,ed Limerick" Poetry Contest, Tania Kitchin, Judge & Sponsor.
(Syllables = 8,8,6,6,8 X 2, counted at HowManySyllables.com)
Bake a Cake
Go ahead and crack an egg,
Mother Patsy and daughter Meg,
Could just not get it right,
It would, crash, splash with might,
On Grandpa’s wooden leg!
So Meg and her mum,
Decided to give grandpa rum,
So he wouldn’t be in the way,
They broke more eggs from a tray,
Finally they made a cake that was yum!
Grandpa woke up and ate the cake,
He thought it was great,
But got a pain in his tum,
Meg and mom called nine one one,
And then they continued to bake!
Ahoy, matey!
Welcome aboard me ship,
Me would have met ye at the airport
But, I've got meself a broken hip.
Me crew, they be drunk
Me parrot's got the sh!ts,
Me wooden leg got caught on a rusty nail
Me woman's got a hairy lip.
I'm sorry to have to tell ye matey
But, ye have to swab the deck,
Me crew have all fallen asleep
Me deckhand has a broken neck.
We all be sore losers
Trying to find me gold,
It's buried out there somewhere
Me'd find it, if me didn't have this cold.
Copyright Cynthia Jones
July.11/2006
```Pirate Bay the Haiku```
pirates fierce and mean
drowning fish, sea to sea
parrots on their butt
```Polly Wants A Cracker```
bloodthirst & brutal
Quartermaster Gone Wild
dirty wings on deck
```Sea World Adventure```
ship crew goes on strike
sailing the Caribbean
wooden leg splashing
~*~
Planes fly higher and higher
I see them sometimes
Looking threw my third eye
I wave but the people are to too high.
If they could see me I’ll tell you what they’d find
A man with his hand out his pockets
And fingers on the grind.
I smile at my computer if only if only there was a camera in there
I would make people feel homey,
Like a chicken pocks scare.
Yes, I am.
No expectations left at my door.
And no sprite sticking me to the floor.
I fly in my home, sliding over the hardwood
Only asking for more time
Let me live these days
Over and over is what I pray
And those who make me smile are who I praise.
So I keep the best company on gravel and on the web
Happy as a pirate with a new wooden leg.
Life is not meant to be thought about in the past
Life is for now, and it won’t last.
So smile,
And kick your troubles in the ass.
I smile in public because I know they are away
From their problems for at least a conversation
With me - it should be filmed,
We are the new cast of Glee.
The Not So Perfect Woman
Last night when my heart was in a flutter
Around to Angelina's house we'd go
I was hungry so she fed me bread and butter
Then she walked upstairs moving very slow
Her teeth she would lay upon the table
Her curly hair was hung upon the bed
As I was there to show her I was able
I saw her screwing off her wooden leg.
I fell in love with a tree stump
Well, my wife's wooden leg
Part of that tree helps her walk
With another part, I made a keg
I fill that thing full of rootbeer
The keg I mean, not my wife
The leg I made from an old cedar stump
That I whittled out with my knife
She smells like Christmas all year long
Don't you just love that cedar smell?
Sometimes I use it to play with the dog
Makes a good back scratcher as well
In termite season she throws a terrible fit
They just won't leave her alone
She says she loves the leg I made
But she wishes I made it of stone
I fell in love with a tree stump
And then I started to think
With the rest of that stump I'll build an outhouse
The cedar will cover the stink
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rootbeer
There be termites on me wooden leg
I've got me parrot on me shoulder
That I've hatched from his mama's egg
I've forgotten where I buried me treasure
My map's in me treasure chest
I thought it would be much safer there
Don't judge me, I'm doing me best
I just love the smell of the salty air
The seven seas, I long to be
Hoist the anchor and raise the sails
It's a pirate's life for me
The skull and crossbones are on me flag
And I live by the pirate's code
Me scurvey crew will swab the deck
To make clean me humble abode
A pirate's ditty ye asked fer
So ye can take this to the bank
But I'll be tellin' ye now if I don't place
I'll make ye walk the plank
Been out ta sea for many a month
Wid me pirate mates
Docked in town with treasure trunks
Out ta find some dates.
How’d ye like to meet my Peg,
No, she’s not me wife
That’s the name o’ my wooden leg
I carved it wid me knife.
This patch on me eye is just a trick
Ta make me look real tough
I know me beard is a little thick
And infested with some stuff.
But a pirate I be and we ain’t so clean
And haven’t been wid a woman in a year
So if ya want some of me treasures and you know what I mean
Come sit wid me over here.
We be leaving soon to steal and plunder
I ain’t got all night ya know
The Jolly Roger is the flag we be under
So just go wid the flow.
You can tell ‘em I made ya at the tip of me knife
And forced ‘ya in me bed
But we both know you wanta be a pirate’s wife
Just for the weekend ahead.
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