IF A TREE FALLS. . . . . .
If a tree falls in the forest
And no one hears it
How do I know it fell?
If I fall in the forest
Do the trees hear me?
If they don’t, how do I know I fell?
Because of my grazed knees.
But hey,
If the whole forest falls on me,
No one will hear -
Not me, not the trees:
So maybe no one fell at all.
I fell in love with a tree stump
Well, my wife's wooden leg
Part of that tree helps her walk
With another part, I made a keg
I fill that thing full of rootbeer
The keg I mean, not my wife
The leg I made from an old cedar stump
That I whittled out with my knife
She smells like Christmas all year long
Don't you just love that cedar smell?
Sometimes I use it to play with the dog
Makes a good back scratcher as well
In termite season she throws a terrible fit
They just won't leave her alone
She says she loves the leg I made
But she wishes I made it of stone
I fell in love with a tree stump
And then I started to think
With the rest of that stump I'll build an outhouse
The cedar will cover the stink
On a daily walk through woods to free my mind
Exercise the heart, relive stress, and just by time
I noticed a tree, the height of 20 feet, and not one single leaf to see
The wind blew fierce and I could’ve sworn the tree whispered swear words at me
Wickedness filled the atmosphere for this tree grim
So I threw a rock started back to jogging on the trail which was slim
The wind blew once ever so strong ahead
And during this draft one of its limbs fell on my leg
I rubbed my head all to confused, for this leafless tree was bullying me
To hell with that I’m not one to bullied you see
I got a bright idea, and laughed for this tree was about to be watered by me pee
I checked the trail then took my pose of fame
I was about to get vengeance and the wind whispered in my ear Here comes the rain
The sky turned blue and water fell, I backed from the tree thinking what the hell
The tree shook again, and I apologized trying to make a friend
I ran like the wind and I’ll be damned if I take that trail again