On a summer night up in Labrador,
a couple was having fun by the moor,
but the flies were lighting
and frequently biting
so it was best to make whoopie closed-door.
Don't drag me into
your petty wars
I am not into that sort
of claptrap
I am off with Enigma
in the real world
walkin on the beach
making gourmet food
and some whoopie too
What is it with these drama gals?
I swear you can never escape...
Always a villian in someones eyes
like living and breathing is bad news
and you stole their thunder
even if you don't live in the same genre
You just happen to breath the same air
Use the same tools
I make my music for me
not for anyone else
I don't give a if you like it
It was never about you anyway
So keep writing your diss songs
into the wind, that's your issue
few people even have a clue
what you are belly achin about now
Just next week it will be someone else
its your drama oh rama... pattern
the invisible war, no one else started
but you always happen to show up for
Bi polar much?
Bi polar much?
Bi polar much?....
Wonderfully infamous Maine sweet treat, sometimes called whoopsie.
Happiness from your first bite of chocolate cream filled cakes.
Only to disappear soon after you make them.
Optional flavors of chocolate, maple, raspberry, and peanut butter too.
Pumpkin ones in the fall are all the rage!
Icing can be in many flavors; cream cheese, vanilla, or something new.
Every bite is decadent, fattening and satisfying.
People even attend a whoopie pie festival every year.
I found that my grandmother hid a stash in her freezer, no one knew.
Easy to make and enjoy; Marjorie Standish has the best recipe too!
Ludens of Earth.
Sadly, not impressive.
Whoopie cushion.
Dunce hat, class clowns, and thieves.
Breakfast club candidates.
Barbecue with the fam in London.
American Dad at a sweet sixteen party.
Tonight on Daylight, “back to you John.”
“Your kid online.”
Gus shook his head and began pairing
everyone up in teams...
Then, WailersWitch walked in.
Followed closely by EllenDegenerate
who was sniffing behind WailersWitch
and snaking the air with her forked tongue
between her fingers.
Degenerate had a shirt on that suspiciously
resembled buildings at Little St. James Island,
a resort for orphans that she contributed to.
Then, Michael Ofelellah walked in with RufePal,
"we're here and we're ...
we choreographed the White Houses Nutcracker
for the White Powder Holidays, now, it's time to get something black!
They opened a mini dome of the rock
box and inside was a demon.
Yes, from inside, popped out
WhoopieCushionPatsy, her dirty
dreadlocks dangled in the air
with filthy pride that reminded one
of a dust storm swirling magically
in a sewage treatment plant, swirling waste
and racing them like Americas Cup.
"Anybody getting a good view of my anti-white princessness, yes it is truly ME!"
Michael cut in, cut the crap Whoopie,
we have a world to subdue before Hillary hogs it all...
True matchup in the tennis stands. Meant to be humorous.
SEX ADVICE
Making whoopie at the tennis match.
Dr. Ruth and Bill Clinton, tète a tète.
She tenderly touches his face.
He blushes, in the very public stands.
Is she offering advice?
I wonder who is on the other side.
Is there a lineup of folks
to set his face aflame.
Was this an intercession?
Is Hillary close by
or very far away?
Otherwise
Ruth and Billy side by side
go out for an auto ride
Bill hits a bump
Ruth hits a tree
and Bill keeps sexting ruthlessly*
8/30/2022
*Original epitaph:
Ruth and Johnny, Side by side, went out for an auto ride. They hit a bump. Ruth hit a tree, and John kept going – Ruthlessly.
Under my school desk
I crouched waiting for a brilliant light
to fill the sky, the brightest ever seen,
while our teacher, a Catholic nun,
looked over the class, calm and serene.
A little girl glanced over and giggled to me,
"Isn't this fun!" as she knelt on the tile.
I returned a nervous grin and said, "Whoopie!"
I thought the last thing I'd see would be her smile.
. for public domain
Whoopie-doo, the holocaust—
is she for real?
Real Scooby-doo mystery…
She says Jews aren’t a race,
yet there’s a trace of heritage left
after the atrocity
that attempted to wipe out
the lineage.
How does she live
with herself?!
The problem is the uncontrollable yap,
the lack
of thinking people…
no one allowed
to discuss, ask questions,
probe the truth and consequences
of out of control chaos.
Therefore the proverbial blind, deaf, dumb and lame
use their faculties
and they fall, get run over
without accountability,
sensibility, morality
and common sense.
And they are less accountable
or not at all
as
they throw rocks or
throw others
under the bus.
2/1/2022
The concert of my dreams would include Cher and Tina Turner.
Throw in Andy Williams, Perry Como and the Glen Miller Orchestra
Adam Lambert, Jessie Blaze Snider and Lady Gaga will be doing solos.
We will have Roger Taylor of Queen on the drums, naturally.
Bette Midler is dressed in style as our guest conductor,
she breaks into song and Whoopie takes the maestro hat.
The Beatles have come back to life, to round us out.
Willie and Johnny Cash have just arrived to get this party started.
Is that Mama Cass I see? And Helen Reddy?
Oh, yes, this concert rocks!
I close my eyes, optimistic they know what to do, and well!
The concert of my dreams!
making whoopie while social distancing
a most magical and wondrous feat
but you must have a long tool
or become the town fool
as you plead with and stretch out your weenie
Holiday Rush
I am so tired,
I can not think clearly.
I have had too much coffee,
and of course...
too little sleep.
That goes with the territory.
Making things happen.
Cookies to make,
cards to send,
the tree,
whoopie!
I need a magic elf,
to come right off the shelf,
while I take a nap,
he could just sit there and wrap...
and wrap and wrap.
He could wrap up the socks,
the clocks and the fox.
He could leave out the ham,
the lamb and the roast yam.
But he should not eat the cookies,
as one leads to another,
we all know how that goes.
If that happens...
I will be baking,
clear into the night.
Just for a little help,
on a little job.
I think I will...
sob.
I thought I would share some of my favorite items that I use frequently. They are materialistic and in all honestly most I could live without! Whoopie pies are a dessert that resembles two chocolate cake like cookies with cream in the middle.
A good mystery book, reading “Pretty Girls” by Karin Slaughter right now.
My morning cup of coffee, as steamy hot as I can get it!
My rose gold apple iPhone in its pink case
My Netflix subscription, Dead to Me is a great new series!
Bath and Body Mango Mandarin body wash and cream
A weekly whoopie pie indulgence, I know I really need to stop!
Dunkin Donuts Iced Coffee 1-2 times a week!
My cover girl eyeliners and mascara, makes me feel pretty!
My many purses that I have to match outfits and seasons.
Costume jewelry, especially my black spinel collection
My comfy t-shirts and shorts I change into after a long day at work!
My croc sandals, the most important part of my home wardrobe!
My favorite Kate Spade water cup I use every evening for my lemon ice water
My kindle fire to play candy crush on and scope out Facebook
7/29/18
Contest: Writing Challenge 3, July 2019 - List
Sponsor: Dear Heart
It was that time of day
I had sex on my mind
So I poked at my wife
In hopes she won't mind
Right now, she said
It's mid-afternoon
And the kids will be home
And arriving here soon
No worries, I said
I'm locking the door
We can throw down some blankets
And make love on the floor
She said, I don't like the floor
Can we jump in the sack
The floor is too hard
Like that thing on my back
It's been a short while
Hmm, will it still work
Will I get her excited for nothing
And kind of feel like a jerk
At my age, I may have to first
stick it in the freezer
But when it defrosted
I'd need me a tweezer
So I went to the pantry
For that little blue pill
And I moved and I grooved
And I couldn't keep still
Finally, some whoopie
That pill, who'd of knew
That was all that was needed
For some good-time woohoo
If I had wings I'd fly to the moon, free
If I had fur I'd burn my clothes, and naked I'd be
If I had feathers I'd tickle your nose, trust me
If I had scales I'd slither on ground with whoopie
If I had hooves I'd clip and clop through town's debris
If I had a forked tongue I'd lie and lie again, or three
If I had a tail I'd waggle and swish it with glee
If I had horns, the devil I'd be
If I had claws I'd climb a tree
Alas, no 'If Only's' for me
I am a naked ape, and adornment forlorn, I be
not just any jokes;
but a humorous prank,
in dirty deeds and actions.
a banana peel for slipping,
a whoopie cushion for surprising.
series of sarcasms for icebreakers,
at last, untold execution of tickling for random giggles.
and maybe a secret diss in your wish list.
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