If Only
If I had wings I'd fly to the moon, free
If I had fur I'd burn my clothes, and naked I'd be
If I had feathers I'd tickle your nose, trust me
If I had scales I'd slither on ground with whoopie
If I had hooves I'd clip and clop through town's debris
If I had a forked tongue I'd lie and lie again, or three
If I had a tail I'd waggle and swish it with glee
If I had horns, the devil I'd be
If I had claws I'd climb a tree
Alas, no 'If Only's' for me
I am a naked ape, and adornment forlorn, I be
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