Potential is not a promise-
and that's all I've seen in you.
I've given every opportunity-
but you've never followed through.
(You once) treated me with kindness-
but I deserve much more.
I deserve a kind of love-
I've not experienced before.
See, I deserve consistency-
and I deserve the truth.
And I deserve my wishes-
(and all of) my dreams to come true.
I've come to learn from my mistakes-
that patience gets you nowhere.
Not when one's committed-
(to serve) themselves; although it's not fair.
(I) love you for many reasons-
and I'm not sure that will change.
But you've shown me by your choices-
you don't love me the same way.
Choices aren't mistakes-
see, they are conscious trains of thought.
You choose to make decisions-
that you know leave me distraught.
So, since you choose to hurt me-
instead of fixing what you've broken...
I choose to walk away-
my sense of worth has been awoken.
Trigger Warning:
This poem contains themes of toxic relationships, manipulation, emotional abuse, and references to suicidal threats. Please read with care.
I am too alive to die,
But too dead to live
Meeting you was a slow burn,
Like a burn given by cig.
Started with breaking friendships,
And then you hated to see—
simple dinners with family,
Me just trying to be.
"I want you to myself"
"You don't give me enough time"
"I'll kill myself if you ignore."
"You better stay in line."
I didn't want anyone to hurt,
So I always complied.
You quoted this was love,
And I believed your lies.
It has become the past now,
And I know it wasn't love.
But the bitter taste still lingers
And it stays like ash in my lungs.
I heard - that the Sun and his distance
Once fluttered persistence
To the Moon, that her beauty would free.
Through the dark of his absence
Shining still, her florescence
Against the backdrop of stars in the sea.
Chasing day's independence
Bluest skies, fading crescents
As his light forces her to flee.
He was a canvas...a beautiful sight,
An expanse of white, so pure and bright.
Not like the moon that graces the night,
Nor like the clouds that drift in flight
Unlike anything else... but like a swan
Engraved in chiffon.
My feet drew towards him,
Each step etched in the dim,
Crystal chamber of love.
My fingers traced him,
Stroking with hymn beneath the moon,
Coloring a secret wove.
I drew back to esteem,
Stumbled, feeling light-headed, lost in a dream.
Dropping to the cold tile.
Glancing through drowsy eyes,
My gaze stared at him, painted in red.
My blood, my soul
…lost in his stead.
Within me lays a vacancy,-
a searing pain deep in my heart.
Despite how we had left things-
I cannot stand being apart.
This cavern in my chest-
It aches for you, and only you.
Your absence tears my soul,
and leaves my insides black & blue.
So many priceless moments-
(I wouldn't) trade them for the world.
But sometimes, dear, you scare me...
I watch as your darkness unfurls.
You become a different person-
(lately,) it's been more so than not.
Where did your softness go?-
Don't think once that I forgot.
It hasn't disappeared, of course-
You still speak to me sweet nothings.
You lift me to the skies-
make sure I know that I'm worth something.
Know in my heart you love me...-
(or) maybe that's just what I hope.
Just what are these red flags?-
Where are they from? How do I cope?
I'm sure things will be fine-
we all have bad days after all.
I know that you've been stressed-
So, I'll be here in case you fall.
All that being said-
we can't be stuck like this forever.
(So,) I'll survive all of these storms-
if it means we can be together.
• A warm liquid racing down my face
• Staring at the ground like a fool
• I guess I've really done it now
• She seems to have lost her cool
Living in the sunless cold hutch of till death do us apart, sits a chipping soul.
Never had he thought she did be a blotch of many shades.
Spitting and pouring scorn on his dreams of a happy home.
“What? Are you even a man? Your mates are out there...”
I’ve been here before
Before the cruel reality reappeared
Shattering your warm embrace
War rages between us
Bloody secrets strewn through the night sky
“It’ll be okay”
But a white lie is still a lie
You shine
Bright as ever the center
Of my universe
My northern star,
I always find my way back to you.
Stars burn.
I ignite
Burn away into the starry night
A mortal and a star
Meant to be? We’re not
Fated like the stories
Yet I’m chained
The fate of a phoenix explained
An ever living cycle
Still I desire
Immersed in your fire
Like a moth to a flame
Siding back into place
Giving in to your deadly embrace
I ripped the skin off my fingers, I didn’t want a fingerprint that had touched you to linger.
You could never deserve the feeling that my fingers could grace your skin, spat out your kisses as if I didn’t love the taste of toxicity that dribbled down my chin.
Never known a love to stay, they always crack and crumble to my dismay.
We play and then fight
I'm wrong and you're right
You're happy I'm sad
I'm content and you're mad
You're hot and I'm cold
I'm yes and you're no
We go up and then down
You swim while I drown
I'm short and you're tall
You stand as I fall
I'm young and you're old
You're fast and I'm slow
I'm weak and you're strong
I'm short and you're long
I'm in and you're out
You're quiet and I'm loud
I speak through your silence
I choose love while you choose violence
I'm deep but you're shallow
One is empty and the other is hollow
You question and accuse
I justify and excuse
You dispute and attack
I leave then come right back
Someone is broken
The other is amused
You continue to win
I will continue to lose
Your "I love you" is like a noose
And your touch is
a touch too cruel
You swore you'd treat me apple pie sweet
I should've tasted the cyanide
Known you were killing me
But now you're all stuck
In my lungs
Cigarette smoke
It's a slow choke
You'll never let me free or
Leave me alone
Goodbye love
I'm hanging up the phone
Eff around
And find out.
Freedom don’t come easy.
The steel bar resort
Ain’t no place to be,.
But, eff if I know,
I ain’t ever been to jail.
Should have been,
But I got lucky.
Toothpaste on the walls,
To hold up the memories.
Watch how you talk,
Or it’ll be your back against the wall
And you’ll be just someone’s memory.
One hour outdoors,
Privilege ain’t easy,
It’s the first to go when you get thrown in iso.
Phone calls,
No go.
Letter are your only plug
To the outside world.
They’ll forget about you,
Might as well let go.
Nah, bro,
Family is forever,
Only friends come and go.
Just kidding,
When you’re a woman beater,
You’re left with no one
To showe for.
Rot. In. Hell. Bro.
I need you to need me,
So I can be happy.
I just want to help,
Let me love you,
Let me care for you.
Please,
Don't hate me.
I just want to make you happy.
I’ll be yours for as long as you'll have me.
Forever, infinity,
You’ll be my always,
For as short as that may be.
I’ll be your dime piece
For as long as you’ll love me.
I promise,
I can make you happy.
No, please don’t leave me,
It’ll probably kill me,
Knowing my help wasn’t what you needed.
That ruins me,
I’m so sorry.
I’m sorry I wasn’t enough
To make you happy,
To make you love me.
I loved you with all I had
And you STILL hurt me.
I thought unconditional wouldn’t hurt me,
But, codependency has me by the throat,
In a choke hold.
You’re my forever.
I thought,
As I put you on that pedestal.
Little did I know that would
Completely destroy me
And belittle the happiness within me.
I was oblivious to the fact
what is toxic,
When I stumbled upon toxic,
amazing voice,
looks decent,
beautiful thoughts we shared.
then poison spread.
Please, I beg
Leave, at once
His eyes froze me
As his words cut
Me deep
Leaving scars
On my skin
Save me
We can create miracles
He whispers
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