Taser Poems | Examples

List of Member Poems

Premium Member Lost Dedication - inspired by Tony Solesky

People used to be so dedicated to their work.
They took pride in and had passion for what they did.
It was understood that a job well done had its perks.
That work ethic was instilled in me as a kid.

So, as I got older and found something I enjoyed,
I honed my skills and perfected my every move.
I was careful and knew exactly what to avoid,
But, like everything, there’s always room to improve.

I work at night, when hardly anyone is around.
But, once in a while, you might see me coming.
As I come up behind you and take you to the ground,
The only thing you’ll hear is my taser humming.

Realizing with Real Eyes the I of the Storm MUST be a Trooper

Battle axe (For the 2nd Half) ...  "At last!"  
Way too fast past the rescue rascal hassling haphazardly mastered dastardly bastards' fractions of captioning cast iron spiraling wired wax on wax off golf cart Bart Simpson minced garlic cubes boob tube huge goober schooner dooms Days Taser taker wafer run stun gun NOT funny honey bun for one shunned lonesome wholesome quotient potion grunt of a stunt punt the ball into mid autumn leaves fall raking reiki draped date maker place mat patty whack hacky sack crap slapped happy tap dance romance slanted jambalaya riot spliced mice diet quiet cheese, please teases on both knees bereavement easing Fort Leavenworth girth that brings birth to twerk twerps slurred slurping squirts of hurting beef Jerky lurching around the church yard disbarred and charred crash cars 100 yards too far to see scars Mars rover Range Rover Red rover come over 4 leaf clover lawn mower seed Sower leaf blower as NOT just another voter devotional spokesperson swerving tertiary but too scary hairy fairy blue berry merry go round sage turns the page safe and sound clown town brown bag the sandwich fad dude and all of that...

Premium Member Snake in the Grass

snake in the grass is a real thing
they’ve hidden since dynasty known as ming
oftentimes knocking off the cherries bing
zapping toes with a little ting-a-ling

yesterday this was one under my blue swing
waiting with his girlfriend to have a fling
they were both much thicker than twine or string
they caught a bluejay by his slowest wing

my taser gun gave them a little zing
something to the yard which I always bring


Women

Always being told who to be and how to act.
Told I could be anything by Barbie,
but then told to look like her.
At 6 told that I had to be careful walking alone,
At 10 was told “Bleed = breed” after my body started to change,
At 12 was catcalled for the first time by old men,
At 14 was told I couldn’t be alone with my uncle,
At 15 someone I considered a friend made sexual jokes about me, 
At 16 my father's friend said if he was younger,
Now 17 and scared as to how it can get worse,
The listed experiences in this life have been mild and almost nothing
Why must this be the norm for so many not women but girls?
When can a girl walk down the street in the dark without a taser?
Can we ever feel safe in our bodies?
Or are we just Women?

Premium Member Limerick Poetry Contest

There once were three boys who were neighbors
Getting dressed for Halloween they did labor
At my front door
They kept grabbing for more
Instead of candy they got a taste of my taser.

100 Percent

She was five when she was set down for a talk. Don't walk alone in the dark, keys between your knuckles, don't let them take you to a second location, scream and fight. That is what her mom said, a frown on her face. She was five when her dad said cover your body, boys will be boys. Only wear baggy clothes, a women can't defend herself from a man. Trust no man. The rules of a women.

Now she is all grown up, searching for escape routes in every room. She only wears misleading clothes, took self-defense, and always carries a taser. Her whole life has been a war against herself. The life of a women. 

She only keeps one headphone in, wears sweatpants even at the gym, and when she walks alone her keys are between her knuckles. But they just laughed when they corned her in that back-alley. How could a girl beat three men? The misfortune of a women. 

It isn't all men but it is all women. Being a women isn't simple, everyday is a fight.


Constitutional Right

Oh, he had a combat rifle,
An Uzzi sub machine gun
A revolver and a pistol
And a TASER just for fun,
Because to bear arms
Was his God given right
One of those for which 
He was prepared to fight.

Nobody ever knew
Why he flipped his lid.
Nobody ever knew
Why he did what he did.
Just wounded lying among
Bodies of the six dead,
Rampaging on until a SWAT
Marksman shot him in the head.

It’s not guns that kill people
The NRA statement said
Its those who pull the trigger, 
But folk still end up dead.
I really don’t think that’s
Much of a consolation
To bereaved and grievimg
Coping with the situation.

A loved one lost with
No apparent reason why
Just in the wrong place so
They just happened to die.
One of those things
That sets off alarms
As to why they need to right
To continue to bear arms.

There are no  indigenous natives
Waiting to ambush waggon trains
Very few live lives of danger
Out on the old Wild West plains.
No, perhaps they need weapons  
To protect from the likely harms
Caused by all those others who
Exercise their right to bear arms.

Premium Member Giant Crows Can Be Thugs

giant crows can be thugs, the six-year-old child told me.
they wear masks and can intimidate you out of an elm tree.
I had no knowledge of this at all and begged to hear more.
this child lives in the small yellow ranch house, right next door.

crows came at night and took us all hostage, she said.
they pistol whipped my daddy until his face was bloody red.
I expected TV news crews to pull up at any second of course.
biggest crow came in riding an enormous Arabian horse.

another crow was so shiny, his fur was ebony black.
he stole all our pink toothpaste, pushed them into a sack.
stopped by the kitchen to grab a watch to put in his pack.
he turned and cawed at me loudly when he looked back.

these crows may have been killers, they had shirts that said murder.
they stole our black taser gun we use as a cow herder.
one stuck out his beak and glared when they were turning to flee.
child’s mother said, “This kid watches way too much TV,”

Performing Poets

They stand there for ages
Pouring out angst and woe,
Seeming to gain strength
As their words start to flow.
They curse and they swear,
Stand, scream and shout,
And I’ve really no idea
What they’re  talking about.

Just these loud strident voices
Hammering away in my head
I’m losing the will to live
I’ve long lost the thread.
If you thrive on your misery
Then that’s just fine
Done make me feel guilty for
A happy out look like mine.

I came here full of optimism
But now I’m near suicidal,
Reflecting on the merits of
The old Scolds Bridal,
A quick burst with a taser
Even E.C.T. shocks
Maybe even an hour or so 
Chaining them up in the stocks.

I’m finished, I’m  leaving 
Driven out at last,
Just a relict from
Their very recent past.
I’ve always supped
From the half full cup.
Just a final message,
For God’s sake, lighten up.

Premium Member Just Kidding

Being as how I am the 4th graders lunch room monitor,
I think I know how a prison guard feels.
A loud noise gets my head up and turned.
When someone stands, I flip my head over there.
I would like to reach for my taser.
Unfortunately, the principal took it away.
Just kidding.

Premium Member Sharp Response

Cupid thought she was rather blunt

when he surveyed her bottom and front

she defiled with a razor

after wielding a taser

incised his stupid macho affront


27th February 2021

Premium Member Crazed Raccoon

the voices are particularly loud
today, they taunt and plague me with their pleas
the label I hide on the wine bottle
they ask me if I'm drinking yellow tail

I take another swig, and then one more
step cautiously to toss it in the trash
they told me of the psycho cat’s demise
but I still watch out for that crazed raccoon

eerie boardwalk creaks near the white sand beach
that whale that lives under must be awake
people in masks walk by, avoid my eyes
as though I'm ruining their summer day

Security keeps shooing me away
their taser guns ensuring I comply
sabbatical dreams after quarantine:
some place to lie down and be left alone

Written 3 Nov 2020
In collaboration with Kim Rodrigues [her lines are in bold]

To Drunk But Otherwise Innocent-Black Man

If in your sleepy & drunk state, you do grab his TASER before he does do what he threatened - taser you - keep running. Do not look back.

Atlanta: New Policing Standard

1. When you are called to a fast-food restaurant (Wendy's, MacDonalnds) as a police-servant, do NOT try to TASER a drunk - but otherwise innocent-black man.

2. If the drunk but otherwise innocent-black man is BIG, do not plan or premediate how to kill him.

3. If  the drunk but otherwise innocent-black man takes your TASER from you, do not cry for help, and then shoot the drunk but otherwise innocent-black man
in the back.

4. Fess up: "Sir, I lost my TASER to a drunk but otherwise innocent-black man, but I chose NOT to kill him to get it back to save my dignity" (READ: My sorry off-white butt).

shalom, shalOM SHALom

Premium Member Formula For Modern Day Martyrdom


                                                 A
                                          Bad Decision 
                                      to get stupid drunk
                                 grab a ninety-proof wheel 
                           pass out at a fast-food restaurant
                      grapple with and assault a couple of cops
                   steal a taser gun-and fire at them just for fun
                                       pop* pop* pop*        
                                 welcome to martyrdom

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