I'm at the entrance of you,
and I don't know what to do.
I don't know where to begin
to try to find my way in
without making a disqualifying miscue.
My life is full of socially unacceptable things
From the way I wear my clothes and makeup
To the way I behave in public
And I won't change a single damn thing
I live for the adversity that tortures my life
The pain only makes my frozen heart stronger
Everything that is thrown at me, I'll face head on
Like the socially unacceptable thing that I am
Because really, what fun is there in being normal?
I see the stares from every direction, and I don't care
We all participate in socially unacceptable things
If you say that you don't, well, you're lying
I'll dye my hair and wear all black as a reflection of my past
The darkness that swallowed me whole, I am what emerged
Don't pretend like you understand me, trust me, you don't
Mock and laugh at this little socially unacceptable thing
I'll take your hate, and I'll give you fire
All of your partners, it's me they desire
Oh look at me, such a pretty little liar
The socially unacceptable thing you admire
I know now why I'm always mad
It's a little deeper than just hating my dad
or the beautiful family that I never had
The inferno that burns within
Fueled by rage and deception
Was lit by my own obsession
Yearning for your affection
begging for your acceptance
Following the humiliation of rejection
The falling short of expectation
I am the product of your creation
Weak-minded and lost in duration
Thus born my soul of hatred
Not long after my heart cringed
With madness and revenge
The knowledge I must possess
Is simply too much to confess
So in your interest it would be best
to go ahead and put me to rest
For it was you that made this mess
Yes I know my story is sad
But it's the only life I ever had
Now do you see why I'm always so mad
Yeah maybe I was too hard on my dad
God bless those who are so aware,
Lord help those who simply never care.
stunningly statistically strategy 'scenes silently so the scenes surely society systems are socially strong ~
Written by James Edward Lee Sr © 2021
9/15/21
~the psycho socials sides socially subsidized social sides socially so ~
9/20/20
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr © 2020
The night is warm and her flowers in bloom
A chance to dispatch our covid’d gloom;
Old friends together, our drinks too well known
A chance to catch up instead of alone.
Each chair is placed at the distance proscribed
And each wears a mask as our hostess advised,
Surely, covid here has no chance to spread,
Though no one can hear a word that is said.
I smell the air today
And it's the stench of
Life leaving.
Everywhere you look
The usual standbys are not
Where they were.
I can feel the skin
On my arm as it
Seems to be wrong
Not wet enough
Or dry enough
Maybe it's the sign
We were waiting on
The end of days is here.
Not as a giant explosion
But as a unraveling.
Began with a virus
And politics as usual
But now, if you pay attention,
You'll notice the far away
Credits are beginning to roll.
I can count on one hand
The people I miss
When I wake up.
I can count on two hands
The people I wish
Were back behind me
As we walk into the next
Phase or chapter or verse.
I hope the sweat was worth it
And the silliness we thought
Meant something
Is so ridiculous
As we view it in our
Rear view mirror.
Why did I begin
When I knew
I couldn't win?
It's all such a laugh
A ****ing sick gas.
So here it unravels
A pen with a fragile
Mind, and no editing
For we post in a blank
Cloud of uncertainty
You can be a superhero
Just write what you see
It's the word in the middle,
It's so easy.
Poets? No nay never.
No nay never no more.
Science develops history
Not a happy go lucky man.
I defy and refute any
Simpleton who
Defies and refutes
What I know to be true.
The media social
Comes into your
Life by
Pasting false memories
And stretching your lies
Like I am a god
You just never met me
I am so smart
Just don't ever test me.
Only a figure of motion
Are words
The anthem of nonsense
We agree to spit out,
Before we lay down
And sleep for the day,
A Facebook of falsehoods
A quick spritz of the ignorant
To keep us in tune.
Once thought of as socially distant I am now told I must practice being socially distant.
I have a general tendency,
to not respond to comments left for me,
but please everybody,
do not take that personally,
because I do appreciate your feedback greatly,
but the truth is in all honesty,
that you're dealing with someone who is very awkward socially.
Everyday I wake up, lonely and alone
But I don’t mind because it is my safe zone
Yeah my life is boring and monotonous
But deep inside I want change and I’m furious
I want to break the silence but I can't
I tried a million times, it was not great
Every time I tried to scream, I can’t speak
Every time I tried to talk, I feel sick
It feels like something grips my throat really tight
I want to scream help and I want to fight
And then I realized it is just me
That creates this stupid fear unruly
Not socially inclined
We drove to Cascais for two days holiday at
a posh hotel and I promptly fell ill a sort of fever
I do not travel well.
My wife and her extended family had a swell
time, while I shivered under three blankets and
claimed the air condition was sat to freezing.
On the third day I arose, had solid breakfast
no had seen anyone recover so quickly, it is
I said because I’m a Norwegian
After breakfast and packed suitcases time for
goodbyes, lots of kissing and hugs
and they all hoped I would be better next year.
Don’t you see how much it hurts?
Suppressing a part of me?
So you can be comfortable?
It isn’t like changing shirts,
easy, peasey, one, two, three,
fit into a neat label.
Shall I cut my heart in thirds?
Feed the offensive to birds,
and sooth the rest words?
Can’t you see how much it hurts?
Murdering a part of me?
So you can stay comfortable?