Short Restroom Poems

snow
in dog's restroom
angry...

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After handling Jalapeno Peppers, wash your hands thoroughly BEFORE you use the restroom....

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Iron stained toilet
Floating cockroaches spoil it
Gut wrenching toilet

By Robb A. Kopp
All Rights Reserved © MMX...

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its roon
with music tune
the lights or gloon
has smell
that ring bells
come by before noon
you can uese
MY RESTROOM...

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WE GO IN THE THEATER

water-gloss of sink
not built for impressive show
reels roll in restroom

7/16/2017
light poetry...

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i was on the dance floor
couldn't hold it no more
try to fine RESTROOM
i ran like a goon
you know
when you   or me too
GOT GO YOU GOT GO...

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some haave musc
some with prefume
lights the bloom
and you got to go
some like a show
get there soon
before noon
you may uese
IF YOU 
NEED A
REST ROOM...

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My friend Ms. Wickys bladder was weak,
every hour a restroom she had to seek,
she thought life wasn't fair,
always changing underwear,
her new nickname becoming now Ms. Wickyleaks....

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stinker   in the      woods

how do you                              rest     with   rank scent?

not              johnny                spotless



                              3/7/2023...

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its ture i tell you
it was a must
do this this stuff
i needed to let it out
no doudt
go to the restroom
this one  only had prefume
i fess and  fess got decuss
i needed to go you know
ON
THE BUS...

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RESTROOM, is a misnomer at best.

To me that's a fact, I attest!

     Though my visits are brief,

     I've gotten lots of relief,

but never once, have I got any rest!


Suggestion:  Call them Relief Rooms!...

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“Now, now,” said the priest to an anxious lady
nearing death: “Of course you’re going to heaven.
There will, however, be a temporary rest stop –
a little time to refresh the spirit, so to speak.”
“Coffee or restroom,” she asked curiously....

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this drunk man had fun
zigzags into the restroom...
projectile vomits



Submitted for...
 ''I'' Contest New Or Old Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Constance La France
Theme: Intoxicated
Original title: The Party's Over
Date written: 01/19/2021...

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Jack and Jill 
went up the hill
and each of them had a quarter,
but Jill came down with 50 cents.
I don't think they went up there for water.
*
I didn't author the above poem at all.
I saw it posted on a restroom stall...
..but then again,
I'm the one who posted it there after all....

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She has the prettiest blonde hair, it flips at her shoulders.
Her dainty features remind me of a ballerina.
She has elongated piano-playing fingers.
She is delicate darling and delightful.
I do not know the truth about this third grader
Until I see him enter the boys’ restroom....

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REMEMBERING

remembering
new year’s eve
what didn’t happen
no horns      confetti      fireworks
i fell asleep in my lazy boy

a restroom call
i’ve been asleep in my chair
it’s 2:00 a.m.      1/1/15
now I remember my dream
horns      confetti      fireworks

Dave Austin...

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The swan can poop while sitting down
on water or on its feet on solid ground.
For this Ogden Nash awarded it a crown.
Yet humans on occasion have been known
to rush to duplicate the feat 
and for expedience not a prize,
rather a desperate need to find a seat
in a restroom stall no one occupies....

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Today's activity will be 
    relaxing in a comfy armchair
  Followed by unlimited bed-rest
    in a room with purified air  

  For tomorrow, a super event is planned
    two-way magic carpet ride to the restroom
  How I love my job; every day's a challenge 
    'Aching-back Program Director' ~ only on Zoom...

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let's use the loo she said
as if it does not have Covid all over the seat
As if there is not feces on the floor
as if it is okay
Give me a diaper I told my grandmother
She stared at me for a long time.
You are thirty-four she said
That's right I replied
Old enough to know better than to use a public restroom...

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Driving and fast
is your motivation. 

To kill, and untie
these knots of 
Ecstasy. 

I fell asleep. 

Twin bed, making love
with barely any room. 

I smelled you, 
no matter how embarrassed
You were. 

And the restroom 
at the infamous mall
was not necessary
In order to find you. 

Sex clubs, so trite
but a medium to 
fine love....

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EXPLOSION IN THE LIBRARY

The stacks loaded with baby diapers -
Even one will explode the pages.

No ventilation outside restroom doors,
I can’t hold my breath anymore.

Why so bold, when fresh –
Like steeping tea…

Oh, forgive this image!
I run for cover, taking my leave –

Outside to the parking lot -
Where I can breathe…

9/26/2016...

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Awakened with need to visit restroom, did make that run
Dizziness hits with faintiness, feelings of passing totalily out, falling
Ambulance was called early in morn; Princess could have outrun
How could anything so slow bounce and twist when crawling
Snail's pace arrived alive, then Manatee pace looked after appalling

Contest:Shaz Cheesman
Contest: 50 words...

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 Draft beer,

chess boards,

and Kerouac cool.

Cerebral grafitti and
a Robot-in-Drag juke box
bubbling out fifty years of good jazz.

A virtuoso burger flipper
destroying the laws of physics,
making gravity play the fool.

On the restroom walls,
the surfaces held
musings of poets

and philosophers…

overwritten since, 
by lesser bards

and now
closed.

Soon to be
apartments....

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It is another night 
Where the chills run down my spine
I shiver them off but see that I've
Been left in the vast ocean of black
As an abyss that only darkens
Every time I take a step back
But i keep moving down the hall
As the walls become my guide 
Finding at the end I can finally sigh
Ten steps down and five to the right 
Now that i can say I made it through 
All of the way through the gloom
I am finding myself in the restroom...

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In the factory where he worked
When he noticed, he had to scoff
Several men were walking around
With one sock on and one sock off

He had seen them with earplug strings
Hanging out of their mouth, a phase
As he walked into the restroom
He thought, "Never in all my days!"

On the "Throne" he saw no paper
He thought he should watch who he mocks
When the guy in the next stall said, 
"You'll have to use one of your socks!"...

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