Short Jackass Poems

Hyena is a scavenger.
He eats what others leave:

So while he’s watching Lion hunt,
He’s laughing up his sleeve …...

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"administrative donkey"


Jack's ass was
surely a jackass
but he was a he

so please stop
calling him
Shirley...

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After parking I busted my ass
Cut my elbows and knees on some glass
What was my first thought?
“Quick! Scan the whole lot
To make sure no one saw you, JACKASS”...

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There was an Irishman from Limerick
From a jackass, he received a swift kick.
He got it in the ass.
He landed in the grass.
The mention of a jackass makes him sick....

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Let the phase pass
That  Mom's a jackass

What is my youth?
Did I live the truth?

The voices are mean
Yet Mom seems the queen!

Somehow she does love
Through it I rise above!...

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Afraid, Buts, Cautious
Destroys Everything, Failure?
God? Happiness? Imprisoned
Jackass? Killer, Life?
Monotonous, Nothing? 

Options, Power, Quest!
Understanding, Voice! Witness...

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What  do you really think of me?
Face sometimes red and drained you see

There's no place I want to hide
Either that or suicide!

Trap me, trap me, if you can
I am now a Christian man!...

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Jabbers on endlessly
Jawbone puppet with string
Jaded with raging sin
Jumps over fellow man
Jail of his own lone truth
Jagged bone cuts his fate
Jackass jealous – no use

3/4/2017
Pleiades J...

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I went to my doctor, the useless jackass
He gave me some suppositories for gas
I ain’t being funny
For what good they’ve done me
I just should’ve stuck them things right up my ass...

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With a thoroughbred Jackass,
Two score and Ten pounds overweight,
I am going to a horse race
Hoping to win at an easy pace;
Godwilling the race will be close and tight,
May God bless me and bedevil my ass!...

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Some people that use them, swear by them. others cuss them
                      There is a fact to remember if you should latch on to one
                      Their Momma was a mare and their daddy was a JACKASS...

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He’s 
cool,
jack of all trades
master of none,
as he manipulates 
women for fun.

He’s
cold, 
ice in his veins
and slick lil' snake,
he'll kill ta' steal the deal
real as he's fake

He’s 
cruel,
crowned heart breaker 
full trophy case,
but most ladies know him as
"Lowly Jack-Ace"


This is RHYME METER~...

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When I let one loose in the elevator,
    I blamed it on last night's baked beans.
    The blast from it sounded like thunder,
    As it tore a large hole in my jeans.

    I apologised to all and sundry,
    For acting like, a silly jackass.
    But my voice became rather squeaky,
    As my flatulence, was pure laughing gas.

    8 / 7 / 2021....

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With a thoroughbred jackass great
2 scores and 10 pounds overweight,
I am going to an ultimate horse race
Hoping to win at a swifter and easy pace;

God willing the race will be close and tight
No one dares smother this heavenly delight,
This race looks not like an earthly class
May God bless me and bedevil my ass.



~01/17/17
~John Hamilton contest...

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You think you have to know everything
Nosing around here for some gossip about my life
But disappointed because i'm not giving any
Need something to feed your cravings of 
knowledge about me

You might not get why I do what I do
Your might be confused right now
You might not understand my choices
Well guess what jackass!
Its not your life to understand, its mine...

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I'd like to go out
on a Saturday night
not having to doubt
we'll make it home alright
       I wanna go to the corner market
       and not get knocked over by
       the jackass who just robbed it
       for some smokes he couldn't buy
but at the very least...
       I wanna stroll down a sidewalk
       where there is no dog poop!
       so, let's have a little talk
       quit being lazy, for God's sake, SCOOP!...

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If looks were death
My face would kill
The mirror tells me this

When I wrinkle a piece of paper
Throw it away I see my face
With eyes as blind as a bat

Hair of a bald eagle
Whats left is gray
Whiskers of a walrus

Under this Elephant nose
That holds up my glasses
With Armadillo hearing

What did you say?
Lips like a Jackass smiling
A neck as a Giraffe

What can I say: It’s just me

(ALL FICTION HONEST GIRLS)...

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Disarmed and Possibly Dangerous

just got out
thirsty
street callin'
no escape
darkness
mischievous characters
wind surfing
no piece    plan    money
cold
monsters devouring meek
growing on every corner
street, first underworld teachers
minimal mainstream skills
legal options slim
economic   education   family castration
jackass
elephant
no definitive answer
head or tail
four corner
traffic light
ten seconds till green...

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I gave a lecture to an ethics class
Nearing the middle they walked out en masse
Of course, I felt like the dumbest jackass.
The students, they had not meant to harass,
Although they were quite high on laughing gas
I’d never thought ethics such a morass
In this case, though, I’d fallen on my a**.
I learned this through the candor of a lass
Giving a lecture to an ethics class. 

Written October 31, 2022...

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The day I born my pride,
I was a jackass ;when nursing him,
I was a plague ; today he flies about,
All calls me mother of Nation.

Smile in pain of delivery,
Rejoice in tackling problem;
The ovulation of congratulation,
Deeps its roots in both.

When yolks  dare eagles’ beaks, they
Grow combs and crow; they prune their
Breasts and bristle up their wings,but
Rot is the egg in brood which for  fear
Of eagles’claws weeps not to be a chick....

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Republican or Democrat
Election day mayhem combat
Red and blue Elephant Jackass
Either side chosen has no class
A confusion among the ranks
Wanting money out of our banks

As time will tell which one will win
No matter the future looks grim
News illusions of trickery
We sit watching in misery
Both are masked with all words hidden
No matter who wins it’s prison

Contest: Lay November
Sponsored by: William Kekaula
Date Created: 10/22/2020...

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Life is a carnival ride you pay IRS and get nothing back
It’s an elephant and a donkey one has a nose like Pinocchio
The other is a jackass both in separate cages
Much like a fortune teller, they never tell the truth

The house or mirrors tricking people into believing
What is not true then trowing darts at each other
Trying to pop each others balloons all filled with empty air
At the end of the show we have empty pockets

Filling theirs to the brim....

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Grab ya paddle
'cause we gonna battle
this ain't no flim-faddle
neither is my saddle
grab your tissues
'cause you got issues
you think your so smart
a high school drop out
smell worse then a bad fart
what a bubble ass
I'd rather smell a jackass
acting all sweet 'n innocent
I see right through you
And all your insanity
I don't like you 
oh my God, like pew
Lose some weight
or they'll mistake you the Good Year Blimp
Couldn't even fit in a crate...

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Evil Intentions
Classic crunched into food
Zoom away
An endless pit of sorrow
JACKASS
An evil wonderer
A king on his throne
Fantasy land
Mozart would despise his creation
PIXMATARIAN
SANYOSAN
An evil shadow bears the two
Calm peace
Eternal slumber
Rising into heavens feet
Taken like a lover off her feet
An evil desk
Of mesmerising creations
Inflicting children’s minds
Speed up
Evil quadruples by cloning
The evil surfaces
The evil is Mozart’s Remix...

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THE JOLLY OF JUSTICE

Jumping Jupiter this July,
ginormous jubilant justice,
jealously judged and justified,
joy went for the jugular.
I'm just the jewel of my destiny,
had to jettison all jesters -
jabbering jackass jesting.

Being too long on jail-flight,
jet-lagged and jaded
until my journey found Jesus
as a Jehovah's jeerer and
juvenile jobless joker,
then justification rid judgement,
joining the jolly of justice.

Vick Manuel Poetry {VMP}
Copyright © July, 2020....

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