Short Bragged Poems

Yes I speak French the brazen imposter bragged.
A lie said the countess, for his speech surely lagged....

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The game went down to the wire
The other team was just a liar
They had bragged and boasted
Did a victory toast
But the lost sat them on fire...

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There once was a kid named Jack
Who bragged that he had the knack
To jump candle sticks
But got snagged on the wicks
Now the poor lad has got a burnt crack...

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Once was a celeb’s old Granny:
She bragged ‘bout her little sonny.
He asked her to stop:
It’s better to hop,
Than to make yourself a ninny. 

08/24/2018...

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There once was a bully named Ump
With broom handle stuck up his Rump
He bragged, "I'm a rat!"
And they voted for that
As they scavenged for food at the dump....

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During the famous Des Moines rumble
Sixteen boys landed in a giant jumble
No one bragged for they were horribly humble
Soccer ball was lost in this mad fumble...

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Trump bragged he was smarter than Spock 
And would race him around the block
But had to concede
When Spock took the lead
Because Trump was dragging white chalk....

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Her mind was closed, she quickly bragged.
Opinionated she always nagged.
Misinformed by one channel of un-real-news.
With no social security she now sings the blues....

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there was a young Irish lad named Jack
who bragged about his size in the sack
he met Sarah one day
for a roll in the hay
she said you’re a wee man and that’s a fact
...

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His reflection Mike saw in the pool.
"I could kiss myself I look so cool,"
bragged the boy, bending low.
In the pool he fell, so
what a wet kiss he got, the big fool....

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Hosted A Big Party

Heard a big party is what they hosted,
To great success  cruised and coasted;
Great view;
Always knew,
And about both bragged and boasted.

Jim Horn...

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Joe Six-Pack once saw a beautiful lass
Bragged he had a car that went really fast
   She had a thing for race cars
   In her eyes Joe was a star
He tried to kiss her, but ran out of gas...

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There was an old lady from Zurich,
Whose husband was garrulous and rich,
He bragged about his new boat,
That it had a steel-like coat,
The boat sank due to an unseen glitch.


May 21, 2023....

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She planted at night in the rain
While stealthily plotting her gain
It grew like a "melon"
She bragged like a felon,
"My hubby soon gets his first brain!"




Just a sample for my "Mystery Seeds" contest....

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Loves To Be Prancing

Trump does look devilish when he is dancing;
He and Billy Boy Bush bragged about romancing;
Woman grabbing,
And back-stabbing;
With him as a candidate should not be chancing.

Jim Horn...

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I am practically a saint the girl bragged one day
Rest of us were speechless; did not know what to say
She smokes, she drinks, and she is as wild as any child
If we have to give her the truth, let’s make it placid and mild...

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I’m awesome and magnificent,
bragged Universe one day,
my galaxies have black holes and
beware my gamma ray.

No force can match my power, so
with me you must agree.
"Oh hush" said Spirit quietly. 
"You’re nothing without me."...

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I once knew a young fellow named Swanson
Who bragged about his enormous johnson
He caught it in a zipper
Which was a painful ripper
And now, he no longer touts his once-on. 

written August 14, 2021...

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Sharon Lee was never bothered by anyone
On her way to school, the store or anywhere else.
She has been walking by herself since she was three, bragged her mother.
Do you think it’s because she has a giant wolf for a pet? Asked her brother....

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Poem Has Been Posted

My great poem again has been posted;
About it I have bragged and boasted;
Love what I do,
Just like you;
To next poem smoothly have coasted.

Jim Horn

Just received my poem being posted 
message again. Love it....

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Limping Jack bragged that he owned two pairs of shoes,
though many people do,so no surprises,
but he stole them from a shop and never knew
that those out on display were different sizes.

For contest 'Two pair of shoes', sponsor John Lawless...

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.

            Then she bragged
               front mine self
 
           "these lips have yet
                been kissed"

              So forth came I 
               past those lips
                melting way
                  her fears...

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We were told he was a go-getter
His aunt had bragged on him
He was a cutie, those brown eyes
He had arms to die for
They could have wrapped a mummy
We had believed the rumors
Anyway, I had, sad he would show us up
In fact, he was a bit of a sloth,
Lazy and unmotivated
Thus, we became fast friends...

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If the moonless night
slept, sheepish it'd be.
Strange, fresh dude not cool 
chit chat about him
awkward and painful. 

Where is a loo
or rear window 
to crawl out of, 
I'm so tempted.

Bragged he loathed
his girlfriend.
He purred, one

more date.
I said, 

no.

12/29/2019




3. A Ramshackle Faith...

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I am a giraffe tamer she bragged.
We laughed, knowing they rarely need taming.
I can beat you at any game or sport she said.
That’s when I lied and said I am never gaming.

I am an antelope rider, she told me.
I decided to stay away from her after that day.
She was stuck up and braggadocio
In every wrong kind of way....

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