Shitty Poems | Examples

List of Member Poems

Premium Member A Lifestyle Shitty

Two wheel bikes are inevitable in our cities
An increase in the number of cars sure ain't pretty
Only a few years hence
Much change will make sense
Cities of the future must avoid a lifestyle shitty

Premium Member Outta My Rear

Feels like limericks are coming out of my ears
Or sometimes think they're coming outta me rear
But those ones are shitty
Not for transmitty
So I'll try not to post 'em but can't promise my dears

My Three Ms

20/04/2018.

                    My 3 M’s

It’s time to change the minds dirty diaper,
To think crisply, cleanly, somehow riper.
How is this cleansing feat to be achieved,
A new process of thought must be conceived.
I’ve tried my hand at CBT,
Electro Magnetic shock Therapy.
I’ve consumed my share of SSRI’s,
Still I ruminate on the how’s and why’s.

Here’s a thought I thought all by myself,
I’m losing my grip as the Quack gains my wealth.
Why don’t you meditate on regaining your health,
Reduce of his drugs, with lies and with stealth.
Then once I am clean I can find my sense of self,
Come to terms with the shitty hand I was dealt.

"So my life’s not perfect", I say out loud,
So get of the couch and make yourself proud.
It’s hard to start off on any new journey,
When you’ve spent so long on a hospital gurney.
But anything worthwhile doesn’t come easy,
Use the power of will to travel your mind freely.
Movement, meditation and a life of moderation,
Are my 3 M’s for life and for your consideration.


Premium Member Feel All Shitty

At times I disgust myself but please show no pity
I'm totally in charge of my clever little ditties
It's only for a laugh
At times I may gaff
It's then I hate myself and I feel all shitty

Someone

It’s funny;
I can never tell how much someone means to me
Until they’re walking out of my life.
I take everyone for granted:
Write their stories 
But forget their presence.
Praise their company
But forget to thank them for it.
I had best friends once.
Many, actually.
I had spend-the-nights,
Watching-movies nights,
Up-too-late-reading-shitty-magazines nights,
Talking-about-boys-for-hours nights,
Crying-in-an-unfamiliar-bed nights.
I helped pick out someone’s outfit,
And I pushed someone into a pool.
I played with someone’s chinchilla
Even though I was afraid to hold it,
And I played truth-or-dare-
Many, many, many times.
With many someones.
I helped someone name her cat
And went over to someone’s house
Even though I’d just gotten dumped by her brother
And it was awkward as hell.
I watched Twilight with two someones,
Drove a state over to shop with two someones,
Drank tea and ate whole fried apples with two someones-
Got ditched by two someones.
Decided I was done with all someones
When I had a somebody
Who cared to stick around.

The Lies We Tell and the Secrets They Keep

Human nature ain't it funny 
So caught up in the state of being 
We lose sight actually lost not seeing 
The mirror of life when clear isnt pretty 
Ignorance is bliss truth always bitter shitty 
The Lies We Tell and the secrets they keep 
Stay out of hell but you sew what you reap 
Let me get away fast something cheap 
One dishonest tale leads to an Epic Novel 
At the thought of you once upon a time I Marvel 
Felt it on my skin rushing through my veins 
From these beautiful brown eyes a terrible thunderstorm it rains 
Where art thy sun when should the covering disperse  
Should I keep moving make no mistake I'll grab my purse
Copyright © Alesha Roche' | Year Posted 2016


Premium Member Turds

Constipation is an extremely shitty word
I don't usually use it, I usually use turd
Must keep it sophisticated
Some might be listening
To this conversation besides the Humorick herd

Premium Member First and Last Reader

an editor's lament

I'm sick of shitty verses, mine and yours
Keep them far outside my office doors
	In the postal drawer
	I see eighty-four
Surely I will die if I read more.

I'm tired of lyric cruddiness submitted
By these would-be poets so limited
	In talent and in vision
	I cannot quite envision
What they thought they did when they did it.

Maybe it's high time we suspended
Publication of Top-upended
	So many silly, horrid
	Long epic poems, florid
Each time I get another I'm offended.

I go deathly pale from things like these
Send them to anybody else please
	Blank verse or concrete
	Crayoned or typed neat
Mail them to magazines overseas. 

c.1978





This crappy old poem is from days when poets had to submit their rotten verse through the postal system. I edited a small journal and received 20 or 30 manuscripts per day. And I submitted my works here and there as another face in the crowd. The reality described in the poem is a condition that is even worse nowadays, when lousy poets don't even have to buy an envelope or a stamp to wreck an editor's day!

Premium Member Insane Saturday Traffic

Traffic on a Saturday morning in the big city
Insanity describes it well or really quite shitty
There's mucho angst
Everyone's a crank
Each morning we need to take a loosen up pill

The Rape of My Voice

I was coarsely stopped at a junction today
With fixed alternatives thrown my way
To let pedestrians storm in my life when there is no sign of crossing
Or to be my own royalty and allow no shitty bossing

Many times, I seek peace and appear meek
Louder voices around me immediately read me as weak
When I interject and show the red light
Machetes they pick up; ready for a bloody fight

I clutch on to the whistle of my dignity
Blow it hard to save my endangered integrity
Rattling vehicles of harshness, they drive
Threatened by the uprising voice they try to shove me to the Archive.

The Runaway

The Runaway

out in the street
was sick of it all
packed my bags and left
the people were very cold
had to sleep in the shelter
grabage everywhere near cot
the smell of urine in the night
tossing and turning was there something I forgot
smoked a little weed I had in my pocket
nothing could numb the pain from humanities insanity
during the day I would go to the soup kitchen
never could make my belly full always growling
had enough of the shelter was fed up
so I then discovered the tent city
stole a tent from the salvation army
life was still so very shitty
would go fishing down by the creak
fish were scarce cause many bums would take a leak
but I choose to go it alone
wherever I lay my head was my home
until the day I met with a local preacher
noticing my life was being lived as a late night double feature
with head bowed down I chose to give my life to the Lord
promising to live on his every word
as I look back now those many years ago
I'm very thankful that I was willing to change my road.

Premium Member Crapulence

Believe it or not, this word's in the dictionary
“discomfort from eating too much” nice imagery
“Crapulence” sounds shitty
Not really very pretty
A daily routine so we don't become big and billowy

Premium Member Constipation

Constipation is an extremely shitty word
I don't usually use it, I usually use turd
Must keep it sophisticated
Some might be listening
To this conversation besides the P-Soup herd

Over and Over

Over and over it hurts
When I think it can't get worse
It's like cycle, rinse hurt, repeat
No matter how hard I try, 
I'm not complete

You were my idol
I wanted to be like you
Since you've wished me gone
Sometimes I turn blue

In every moment every day in the last 15 years. 
I could end a drought with my large basin of tears
No matter how hard I try to get over you, you're there
You're the matter that made me
And in nearly every moment of every day for the last 15 years
I wished it wasn't so. 

People think I'm strong, 
but I don't
Part of me feels weak
That I couldn't complete what you wanted me to

Part of me feels weak
For listening while you continued to speak
When I could have just walked away

A little part of me thought that maybe..
One Day, ….maybe one day we'd be together again
But she's still there. 
She's the hair in my food
And no matter how I cut it, or wrap it around my fork
She puts me in a shitty mood.

I Can'T Decide

I’m an indecisive person

Ask anyone who knows me

I change my major every week

Grinding my teeth while I’m asleep

Cause I don’t face my anxiety

That’s what it is...

Sometimes I think I’m artsy

Is this a poem I’m writing?

Sometimes I think I’m smartsy

Go into bioengineering?

I just hate corporate America

Don’t want to sell my life away

But I know when I’m homeless

I’ll say, Dad, why didn’t I get that mba?

I don’t know why I am this way

Can’t separate dreams from reality

Don’t want to become some sad old fart

Just wanna die poor with some shitty art.

Sub Categories

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