You see me, I know
Caked with deepen shade
Everyone teased, but you hurt the worst
When you ignored and walked away
Now limping with a heartache
Disadvantaged with a broken soul
Those physical abuse wasn't their game
Teasing and taunts satisfied their toll
Thought you would stand up
And defend the scars under my skin
But instead joining in on the torment
Egging on bruises within
Trust was belittled
By the one that meant most
Dissolving friendship with a knife in back
Those things happen I suppose
The crude words spread
Like a diesese so untrue
But the worst ones that cut me
Were the lies sprawled out by you
I forgive you for punches
You seemed to throw when you spoke
And every kick your heels dug in
Solid as your choice words choke
Still have marks that had tried to heal
But decided to remain as scars
And inside my soul you'll see how
Still floating around are your remarks
Never crossed my mind
That we'd be like this today
The insults you breath in are dangerous
Bullying to fit in another day
I sleep wondering will I ever dream but as time passed I soon realize that am haunted
by my own shadow.
My mind is empty like a blink paper with no ink to consume, I wait silently waiting for my
soul to be broken .
The ocean is vast and lonely will it ever be remembered ?
Don’t try to understand me , my words conceive fire in which no man cannot endure , My
vacuous mind drowned by lies , only my words enlighten me to pursue life .
But it was just a dream.
He's always so angry, So many hurtfully words ..
Nasty and evil , Is whom he has become...
Pacing back and forth, In his demented world ..
The man i knew .. Is no longer there
He looks the same , Feels the same, even sounds the same ,
Yet those evil spite full words , Its just not him, not the man I
Once knew..
That’s what he's become ...
Controlled by the demons .. Possessing his head ..
The paranoid drunk .. He wouldn't even like himself ..
He so lost .. In his world off madness ..
He has no idea .. Whom he's become ...
What he does, and says , I know its not him ..
Lost in his world off the drunk, paranoid, mess,
I just wish he could see himself …
What he has become ..
The words ripple through my head as I sleep,
''Take him to the stream''.
And I will,
I promise.
The sun will filter through the clouds and settle on our skin,
Tickle the backs of our necks and the corners of our mouths,
As we talk, or laugh,
Or as we smile in silence,
Just absorbing everything we have.
Maybe we'll invite the rain,
And maybe it will hang in crystals from the branches and leaves,
Its rainbow radiance settling inches from our faces.
But crystals are glass.
Diamonds will be interspersed between the ripples in the water,
And they shine will like suns,
I can see it now.
I want to reach out and grasp one.
Hand it to you to keep forever.
I'll whisper words like cotton into your pretty little ears,
And you'll love me,
Until I open my eyes
And remember who we were,
And what we are,
And why I dream for you.
The sheet is wailing for some troubled letters, and the words are struggling to be
heard, and I comfort myself with a pen that reflects the shape of my heart, I leave
these notes under my pillow waiting to be found, hoping they might fell in your hands
accidently, and words will tell, exposing the look in my eyes, uttering the breaths that’s
been held inside, and as you seek beyond the lines, look further and you will feel my
ache, whisper my words with your lips, so I would listen to my heart in the tune of your
voice.
Those sheets are weeping beneath my pillow, yearning for a touch of your hands,
praying to be suppressed in your fist, keeping me up all night listening to their grieving,
until a new born dawn floats among the smothered air, composing an epitaph in the
consolation of the forlorn words.
And oh my darling, how I pity for the weary pen that sews the letters in the sake of
you, and how I envy it, oh how I wish I was a pen emptying all my heart on some white
sheets until my time is through and then I could sleep in peace.
you can find all my writings at my blog website:
http://echoes19.wordpress.com/
Yesterday's studying lies in await. Glancing over my notes revealed decisions were
made on a certain date.
Feeling helpless caused me to realize that no matter what I do, I could not change
things for the moment.
Today was the appearance. It was too late. These past several months led me into
a battle of words causing my participation in literary fighting. The decision was
expected.
So, the shocking words did not hit me like a bolt of lightning.
Although it was tough, I faced all my foes like a soldier.
Demeanor hard as a rock, still as a statue, and strong as a boulder. No longer a
little child.
No one for me to trust to even cry on their shoulder. I guess those are a few
examples of maturity and getting older.
The unanimous decision was unconsciously expected, leaving my attitude solemn.
However, upon exiting the building my whole world fell apart, leaving me crestfallen.
Magic words feed the poets.
My words live in your innocent eyes
You left, now I'm a dreamer
It's only there, I can feed myself
Your smile is the vitamin of my heart
I miss your sweet warm caress on my body
Please Baby, come back
Heart is broken, prayers are unanswered. Everything around me is crashing down.
You said i was special but now im nothing but a faded dead memory. I thought you
were different, I thought you were my best friend, but you showed your true colors
and they are dark and sketchy. You said you would die for me but now you are the
one killing me. tiny pieces of my heart around your feet your kicking them around
like tiny pebbles. To you its goodbye i used to think your favorite words were me
and you forever baby i promise. But we all know empty promises never follow
through. I learned my lesson. So goodbye forever. Two bitter tasting words to say
to you.
*****Come Back*****
Magic words feed the poets.
My words live in your innocent eyes
You left, now I'm a dreamer
It's only there, I can feed myself
Your lips are my appetizing juice
Your smile is the vitamin of my heart
I miss your sweet warm caress on my body
Please Baby, come back
You write ‘find me’ when no one is seeking
and sit in silence when you are speaking.
We can’t erase the memories
and it was a waste of energies.
You’re ready to ask when it’s the wrong question.
You know what to say but you forget the confession.
We can’t erase the blame
and it was a waste of blame.
You wait for whatever judgment will pass,
and sit collecting dust displayed behind glass.
We can’t erase memories of her command
and night by night they stay this hand.
Your heart blooms hope when words were ill spoke
and you laugh along, forgetting you are the joke.
We can’t erase what’s said and cope.
And her words bred sharp painful hopes.
The mother I want
Mom!
Just say you love me!
I have never heard these words come for your lips,
Grasp me when i cry,
All you do is stare,
Am I a freak to you?
I just want a mother!
All these years I've tried my damn hardest to make you proud and happy
But I never succeeded.
Look mom!
I'm actually a "someone"!
I have talents,
Hear me play music,
Listen to these words I write to you,
What my arrows fly through the air!
Mom!
Please!
I'm your only daughter,
I'm not as beautiful as most women
Or as amazing,
But look at me, mom!
Am I an inconvenience to you?
Say the words and strike my heart,
Forever I will be lost in this world,
Without anyone.
I love you mom,
Silence,
Bye "mom".
Sometimes I sit here and I wonder,
how long have I been here?
With the words of a ghost rotting my tongue,
exhaling phantoms who hang over my shoulders;
they offer a smoky hand.
I could take it and escape.
Instead I try to stay seated, unmoving, tired.
My limbs feel too heavy to move.
Sometimes I get a sense of the world beyond
the confines of my mind, I think, I remember.
I’ve lost count of the days and hours
too many seconds becoming minutes.
My head hurts, so I exhale.
I try to reconnect to my body,
are you out there waiting for this?
My words are building up
so many scratch pieces of paper surround me
Come read them, remember me. Find me.
maybe im not right for you,
maybe this was never ment to be,
were two wrong people that fell in love,
but im nothing without you next to me.
we both have different worlds,
and we both like different things,
so how did our paths end up intertwining.
its all too confusing for me.
i never knew id feel such love for some one who's split my heart in two.
but being with you like you said is not even an option at all because your everything i
want, need and more.
that this love is unbearable and ill hold you close till i die.
so why haven't you realized that you've got me fallen in love.
but for some reason you show that you don't really care and it hurts me even more knowing your not there.
so you say that you love me time and time again but actions speak louder then words so why don't you show me what your words don't because,
i'm done playing your games this is not who i am
i've tried over and over to be your perfect girl but some how i always fail and make you
upset.
so why am i still here longing for your love.
I am trying to remember the last time we were happy,
Every time I think I have it nailed down I come up empty.
Each moment I think I can get past it with some word or fight,
You show the reasons I fell in love, with kindness and insight.
The torture of finding a path through this labyrinth of pain,
Is knowing that all was preventable without even a stain.
Truth is the foundation of a well built home,
I couldn’t straighten it out with an iron and fine toothed comb.
I don’t know how long I will last,
As the one who let you down in the past.
My mind wishes only happiness for you and your life,
But my heart still sees you as my darling wife.
My words are slowing and my mind is growing weary,
For the past few months my eyes have never been more teary.
These words are not for you to hear or be reading,
But for me as I try and stop my soul from bleeding.
As you move on in strength and beauty,
My heart and mind crumble from my failed duty.
I have set your place at the table,
the aroma of the morning coffee in the air.
No words between us, only a long and confused stare.
Your heart has so many secrets, so many words untold,
Your heart knows all of my secrets to everyone else,
they are unknown...
Letting you go...
one of my secrets that are untold...to everyone else, unknown.
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