Whomever coined the phrase
'A penny for your thoughts'
also phrased a coin
one would think
and what a pretty penny too
as one ought
now a penny saved is a penny earned
so I won't spend it on things you thunk
for my word is my bond
and I don't invest in junk
I have yet to see pennies from heaven
fall from the wild blue sky on high
but hope I do and if I catch a few
with wishful thinking
into the fountain they will well fly
yet should I spend a penny
on this or any other day
it would literally be
a penny pissed away
a spangled stand stood at a summer fair
the sugar shack sells at nine dollars a treat
pastel skeins of silk spun lighter than air
melt-in-mouth-goodness, so delectable and sweet
each tender bite is a firework of ecstasy
but this transient delight sure costs a pretty penny!
our new puppy Beau will not go into my husband’s office
I think he senses spirits in there.
I sense my husband’s father
My husband senses Native American spirits
Beau cannot be coaxed past the doorway.
Unfortunately, that is where our only doggie door is.
Our handyman Tony is coming tomorrow to install our new doggie door.
It cost us a pretty penny, but it will be worth it if Beau uses it.
At this time I am getting up every hour and a half to take him outside
during the time others get to sleep.
Copper elf found a coin
Matching the pot in his mother’s kitchen
All shiny against his limb and loin
He said “I think I’m getting rich’n”.
It is like a pretty penny his child said.
Yes, and it was such a marvelous surprise!
It has a shine that reminds me of your daddy’s head
A bald-headed elf who would have rolled his eyes
beneath the rainbow
pretty penny for your thoughts
whispers in the wind
sunshine starts at noon
after such deluge delay
skies smile upside down
god's voice of thunder
commands all nature to dance
vivid climbing blooms
psychedelic song
from green background of our lives
lovely prancing birds
OMG! What do you mean that
There's no service at this time?
Well my provider better be ready,
To pay a pretty penny or a dime.
At least they were kind enough,
To send a quick text to let me know.
That they need a few more hours to
Try and restore my lost bloodflow.
Well what the hell do they expect me
To do, now that I'm left all alone?
I mean, no TV, no internet, no music ...
Does life go on as it's been known?
Now I'm trying to search my memory,
Of how we all survived before these days.
Whether battling dungeons and dragons,
Or being a shortstop making plays.
So as I'm forced to stop surfing my digital waves,
I'll turn back the clock and go 'old-school'.
Where opening a book and using a pen & paper,
May substitute for interaction and be new fuel.
This might lead to more face-to-face meets,
Even those I'd rather avoid.
As my options seem limited, but damnit,
I can't be more annoyed!
Yet here I sit confessing my anger,
Feeling inept to accomplish anything more.
While I try to find some creativity,
Awaiting the nets return, just as before.
It should be a lie,
But it couldn't be a lie;
That if you sought,
Everything can be bought;
With something as trivial as money,
You can win somebody.
But it should be inverse,
I would say in my words;
Though in real life, many,
With buttload of penny,
Will have everything,
And will also win in every ring.
How bad does it sound,
And yes it is profound.
Hey, me and you,
What changes can we do?
My sacrifices aren’t enough I still can’t win, every victory is somehow a loss in the end, I gave my heart to keep my friend, but I still keep bending, how much longer till I break, I feel like there’s always something at stake, when will I get a break? Just a chance to rest, forget about all the rest, be myself, and not be put to the test. I gotta see it for what it is I guess, I’m just another body, one of many, my heart used to be worth a pretty penny, but no longer, it’s been soaked in pain, and now it’s just oxidized copper.
Every month, without fail, I buy your magazine,
I read it through from front to back, to see what I might glean.
I'm awed at your endeavors and your accomplishments are many.
You show readers how to keep a home and save a pretty penny.
You sew and craft, dice and bake, then deftly plant a row.
You show the way to knit and felt, and how to mix up scrumptious dough.
Yes, Martha you amaze me, your work ethic is supreme.
And creating order out of chaos is every woman's dream.
You make affixing glitter look like more than just plain fun.
You roast and toast, and yes, compost, until the job is done.
I'm sure you have your critics, though I hope that they are few.
We may buy your sheets in Macys, your pots and dishes too.
You've shown this world the domestic life and all it's meant to be.
Most of all you've given hope to plain old gals like me.
(buy two for the price of one)
Serve your mom and dad a tea at breakfast
With ginger and drops of sedatives to relax
Drive them to the market in Happy Town
Buy them new outfits and shoes
Parents must look good for a presentation
Comb their hair. Part it in the middle
Nix that. Your dad is bald.
Pat him on the head for good luck. "Good boy!"
Buy two leashes at the leash emporium
One pink, one in blue to tell them apart
Attach mom and pop around the neck but gently
Strangulation is against the law and not too friendly
Remember they are parents so show respect
Sell them at the marketplace. Kiss them goodbye
Slaves are in short supply these days
Parent sales are precious and fetch a pretty penny
They make great gifts at Christmas
Take dad’s wallet. It is the least you can do
For all he has done for you and don’t forget mommy
Leashes look great on them in pink and blue
Toodaloo you two
Authors Note: The author loved his parents. They were great people. He wants to inform you that this is a fictional piece and advises against selling your family members unless they start to annoy you.
Plastic Straws are now band
Stores now charge a nickel a bag
But they give free needles away
They charge money for water in a bottle
What happened has the hose disappear
They charge for air to fill a tire
Now they charge us for air too
A permit for this a permit for that
We buy things and we have trash
Now they charge us for what we buy
The sun is free so far but just wait
Soon a sun tan with cost a pretty penny
We vote for a law they change it
Politics is now just a dirty game
The news has become the enquire
Spreading gossip, what a shame
Who knows what the true is, they all lie
We fight over nothing we can change
Our children look in wonder
Wondering who to believe and think
They call us immature
I have an old gray button up shirt
Like the cowboys wear with rugged jeans
It fits big and covers me up completely
So that I feel like I’m living uniquely
I love this old shirt that cost a pretty penny
Because I purchased her at a magazine with plenty
Of beautiful pieces to match and select
I chose her on the part that I like best
Her ability to cover my upper body fully
So that I don’t have a need to feel unworthy
Because of my chubbiness or lack of flair for flirting
This one piece of clothing makes me feel assurance
I love her pockets on the front that seem so enduring
And give me a place to put my smokes even though
I quit them in 2013 before I met my ex-husband
That smoker who will never quit – the alcoholic
I split up from him but didn’t let my shirt go with him
He liked it and if he’s had his way, he’d have took her with him
But I can only say – he’s gone and my shirt has stayed
She’s will me til my dying day or hers, whichever comes first
The Procrastinator
Have a tendency to procrastinate
My motto: “Not now, it can wait.”
"Let's negotiate a better price."
"You mean it was sold, that wasn't nice."
"How come we got a parking fine?"
"Thought we had plenty of time."
"Knew I was to clean up this mess."
"But was busy, I must confess."
"Yes, knew we were to meet at five."
Didn't know was such a long drive."
"I knew the taxes were almost due."
"Sorry we got a penalty, I really do."
"Knew should have filled the tank."
"Spent too much time at drive-in bank."
"Did't know it's sold out."
"How did that all come about?"
If I don't change my way
A pretty penny will have to pay
Instead will follow what Farragut said:
"Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead."
Why does raising kids today take a ton of money?
Don't laugh -- Parents don't find it very funny
Yeah, sure, I know: There are art lessons, music lessons
Swimming lessons, tennis lessons, chess lessons, ballet
Lessons, piano lessons, guitar lessons, violin lessons and more
And once your kids hit college, you're out a pretty penny, for sure
Yet buried in every one of those dollars you invest
Is another crucial value that you've failed to address
Dr. Good in hospital reminds us all
All pregnancies are final
Inconceivable at the core
Inconveniences must be dealt with
Just another disease in need of cure
A personal malignancy to freedom
An interference with fun for sure
That growth inside of you must be extracted
Womb removals come at a pretty penny my dear
Dr. Metal Hanger operates at night
Just around the corner in the dark
In the back alley with a long thin wire
That inconvenience will come right out
Don't worry about the other organs
There is no extra charge for you
So spread um baby and open wide
Say Ahh.... This kind doesn't cry
By the way....what's its name?
The young girl whimpers, “Tumor”
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