So many ways to say one thing
More than one way to turn pawn to king
Too many turns to the grocery store
Which turn shall I take?
Countless words to choose from
From sunrise to sunset
Too many ends to be met
With no end
So many ways to say one thing
How will I say this?
The paralysis of perfection pours
A whisper at first
Drown out by the delusion of desirability
Preserved in acid proclamations of praise
Beating echoes in snowy peaks
Peaking in phrases veiled in value
Pouring
Heavy
Heavy
Heavy
On the mountaintop
Failure
Failure
Failure
One weakened layer causing seismic shifts
Elephant echoes fragmenting snowy ideals
Triggering avalanches of lost identity
Slabs of fallen promises break loose
Forming a track of forbidden truth
Too much weight bids perilous
Useless words of compliment
Descend to a suffocating
Ignominious demise
Plagued by tiny
Thoughts of
Fading
Perf
ect
io
n
I wish I wouldn't try to be perfect
When I know it can never come to fruition
Perhaps I do it for the self respect
Maybe I do it for the recognition
Always I try to keep it all correct
Always I fail, and let it fall away
I wish I wouldn't try to be perfect
I wish I wouldn't try to be perfect
The shades of “blues” might have an intense wavelength.
It literally overshadows her “colorful seasons”.
This school champion might already realize this.
Games are not that easy in this "normal world."
An imperfect design never fits into the Fine System.
It never fails to tell her how bad she is in this.
It might be her first criticism.
She push herself hard, in this race of Infinite Perfection.
Sometimes running, chasing, breaking.
Even pleading never going to works.
It's not that easy. Right?
The more intense she gets, the more she sags and breaks.
but she is still too imperfect to get pity on her.
What she tries to do?
does she collect the shattered pieces?
that was over-walked by many without even noticing.
What… sudden gray shades in the weather?
ooh….! I think rain is going to come.
It is one of an intense, heavy rain.
Why does she still crawl over there?
Wait.. what shading her?
Is that wings, that she folded before leaving school?
Wow…! It's almost rusted, what red shades on it ?
Oh, my god, I think we caught.
Hi...…! "May I fly again?"
I skipped my knitting group two weeks ago
alas, I had zero progress to show.............
But I explained (it did fascinate her)
knowing I'm a big procrastinator ;-)
heart of compassion, stifled by rejection
concealed with conscientious imperfections
marvel mind mortified by man made mistakes
confined in constraint, no mental escape
flunking society's supposed expectancy,
failing oneself, free-falling inwardly
sparkles in eyes subsided, light subdued
flame flickers restrained by winded worries' mood
foreboding face, faded flat with fatigue
harness of helplessness, harrowing grief
sandbag shoulders, sullen with unbounded burden
unknown, none come close, to help the hurting
9/9/2023
The more I let go of
these tiresome soul struggles,
the should haves,
the should bes,
the more it is possible,
to be messy and
alive.
Your beautifully bright like a summers day
the joy you bring makes me float away
into the clouds which bring the rain
in your violence and rage
you cause chaos and pain
the day becomes grey and i patiently await
the validation of your soothing rays.
Perfection, is an evil lord
demanding ever greater tribute,
it wields a sharp and heavy sword
that pierces deep to persecute
I fear this liege, this graven image
there's no resistance to his wants;
no will, nor the amount of courage
can protect me from his evil taunts
Forgiveness, I may grant to all,
no act's too grave or sin's too much
and yet, no matter however small,
I dare not grant myself as such
Idealized, I must not fail
this thought's so manifestly flawed;
and yet, it does but so assail
my heart, my mind... my God
Ideas
thoughts
potential
scattered and unrelated
until
A twist
a turn
a perfect form,
balanced.
Yet it cannot be sustained
competing forces
expectations
The pattern dissolves
as it is compelled to turn
away
from itself.
Exciting ideas
moving apart and at the same time
together.
A new shape forms,
for a moment.
Never ending movements
interspersed with
originality.
Calm but
fragile
as the slightest
pull
threatens its very existence
Ideas
passions
possibilities
contained within a shell.
A veneer of strength
protecting it,
from itself.
To the observer
an impression of self-containment
control
success.
Yet for those who dare peer
Through the pinhole,
insight.
Will the kaleidoscope
ever rest
satisfied with its
own creation?
A child –
An accomplished art
Of perfectionism…touch of love
By you and me