The mind was an enemy of itself
A weapon forged by its own hands
Every thought a spiral of panic
Every decision a thought out plan
Silence became a blessing when noise is all you've known
It becomes a safe place after a war of chaos
The betrayal of your own thoughts is a tragedy on its own
To not have your own back, in a world against you
Is to have a house not a home
To be surrounded by people, yet still feel alone
A prison of your insecurities
Haunted by the ghost of regrets
Forever lingering in the deepest part of your soul
The mind a vast ocean of dead past selves
Screaming to be heard
Begging to be known
Wailing to be loved
But who could love a mind that's perception of love is non-existent
Fatigue drains the fight from the spirit
Within the mind numbness creeps
Paralysing the mind until it gives in
To a life sectioned by depression
Until the poison of self deprication becomes too much
That you fall into the state of being a zombie
Trapped inside a body you no longer own
Each day becomes a blur
A constant reminder of a life long gone
A sad ending to the person you were
Kill the Boer, kill the farmer
A song sung in a stadium by thousands
Reverberating a chorus of spine-chilling fear
A call to incite hatred and violence
Tomorrow, we mourn - another farmer
Umshini wami (my machine gun)
Paralysing fear runs through your soul
To wipe out the Boer and the farmer
A call to genocide, they cajole
Rat-a-tat, see how they run
There is no defence against this genocide
You must die, self-defence is a crime
Hundreds and thousands of crosses, erected
For the innocent these numbers climb
The Boer and Farmer in death abide.
Practicing how to breathe, when there's a shortness of breath.A slow rhythm in the background calms me down, when a void tried to look into me.I was up alone yet again while the demons of the night visited me. Has it been a year now since sleep has become paralysing.I dared something much deeper within me, to find out it wasn't me who was talking back. A mindless creature may exist outside my comfort zones. Too long since we found a sense of belonging inside our lives, so I stepped into other people's life. Only to be found as different than all the rest. Being like this was never choice, have you ever seen what afflicts me? Please don't kick me out of your circle, it's dark where I am.I found you to understand me, helped me out of my misery. It's a gratitude that I don't belong with the monsters,my skin still remembered the abuse it's done to me. I've grown to be stronger than them, yet still my mind has captivated an attention of a million.
Trying to live by imaginary rules,
We believe we have to follow,
Only to think we're always failing,
Left feeling useless, empty and hollow.
With eyes red raw and burning,
From all the tears that's been cried,
Your demons begin to take control,
Stealing your soul and self pride.
Nightmares haunt you if you sleep,
Drowning in darkness through the day,
Happiness now becomes a distant memory,
Not knowing when you last felt that way.
Eating away at your contentment,
Suffocating your brain with black fog,
It can hijack you at any moment,
The paralysing curse of the black dog.
beautiful woman
is a full course meal
an appetizer
a cupcake encasing a bullet
sweet course pie with a deadly desert
served on a golden platter
she is an intoxicant
a red fine wine
spiky colourless vodka
a picky choice of men
to savour in her lust
she is the venom
cursing through the veins
stopping heart beat
paralysing limbs
with mouth in sync
a beautiful woman is beautiful
Pricey, elegant and ravishing
she's the beginning of fantasy
she's the end to reality
she's a beautiful woman
BEST TEST
At school, I always tried,
To do the best I could.
Then along came " the test."
Paralysing my brain,
As I knew it would.
I resent the word test,
It makes my thinking go awry,
If I have done my best all year,
Why should I even try,
To prove my capabilities,
Which I have already done.
My teacher knows my abilities,
She marks them everyone.
Pupils have homework,
To study after school.
My poor brain is going berserk,
As my cup is more than full
I am so nervous I'm shaking like a leaf.
I'll do my best to do this test.
That will give relief.
The hawk flies over
in paralysing calmness
puny birds flutter
My hands have gone rigid, feel like lead
Ok! I’ll type with my feet instead
Now they don’t work, just went numb
Ok! I’ll press buttons, with my tongue
Can you imagine, things being so hard
Bitten by snakes, yet unemotionally scarred
By David Kavanagh
Fear
Breathing down the necks of men
Holding them captive in the cage of monotony
Never freeing
Until one learns to release the chains that bind them
Fear
Trapping those without courage
Safe Jobs
Safe Lives
Never taking a risk
Until one flees the safety of the known and learns to truly live
Fear
Paralysing
Crippling
Controlling your every action
Walk the line without a fear of falling
I watched you as you
Smiled softly, strolling through the stools.
Your shirt clung to you like
The spidery fingers of love that gripped me.
Your matted hair was silky soft
And your skin felt like satin on my lips.
Your name was heavenly on my tongue and only divine
Intervention could stop me from loving you.
But I doubt that even that, would stop the infection
Slowly rushing through my veins, paralysing me,
Heart outwards.
The heat and fire and web of desire
That was woven by the spiders of passion,
Caught the flies of love.
It devoured them
Slowly,
Carefully,
Lovingly.
Like my mind seemed to drink in your presence.
Slowly,
Carefully,
Lovingly.
My eyes raked over every detail, not allowing
You to escape me. Your hands, those hands which I
Had longed to caress, touched my back softly,
And shook me from my observations as you
Had shaken my world so many months before.
You smiled gently down at me.
And then you disappeared, like a perfect dream.
Gone, before I could kiss you once again,
Slowly,
Carefully,
Lovingly.
Raging, Stamping, shooting flaming fire bolts
Thor unleashes his titanic rage on us
charged spears that send paralysing volts
teaching all a lesson he send us a cuss
Fury emanating with every jolt
despising, hating, destroying, callous
against mankind with passion he revolts
with powerful hate he does send onus
Killing all before him with mega volts
his anger growing is most auspicious
his thunderbolts these are no millivolts
they rain down the killing so atrocious
Temper flaring intensifying each jolt
oh pray that soon he will hang up his bolt
written 3/07/2104
I was deserted by fun
Locked in a lonely world
Looked upon like a clown
My heart was then cold
Then out of emptiness, yet bountiful
You emerged so graceful.
With your sweet charms
You entered my world
With those paralysing smiles of yours
You pulverised my crumbling world
You laid foundation for another
The greatest in heavenly uniqueness' order
The world seems yours
You turn it around so easily
You must be one of those three sisters
'Cos you manipulate fate so easily
You've washed anew being
You must be an angelic being.
The way you swept away my sorrows
And made sweet my tomorrows
Left me wondering
Reminiscing
Thinking much about you
Loving you.
I feel so on top of the universe
Ever since you graced my world
You've livened my world's romance
And distant my heart from cold
Queen of my heart
I love you with all my heart.
Slice me with your tongue,
Razor blade wounds,
To suck out all my poisens,
Sweet lonely lullaby,
Accusing eyes of sadism,
Picture perfect prodegy,
My Deadly Sin,
A bitter taste of arson,
Burning in my vital organ,
Your the pyre that burns away my mortality,
A sip of tea made from Lilly of the Valley,
A shadow of Death stalking,
With odd angel like wings,
A Numbing kiss like Drowning in Morphine,
My Oblivion,
Sweet arms to rest in till my vision no longer holds,
Eyes neither like Hell nor Heaven,
Cocain Addiction,
That Drip of Drugs into your system,
Intoxicated blood stream,
I'd rather not dream,
And instead get lost within - Your paralysing,
Your Paralysing, Brain lapse,
Your moving too fast,
Stay slow and dreamy,
Dancing silhoutte,
Like a burning forest fire,
Pain throughout my veins,
Ravishing and Beautiful,
A voice torn from my throat,
Dying joyfully,
With my last sight of you. . .
Bloodthirsty anguish torments my
Lunatic mind, seizing supremacy, paralysing my decrepit living corpse with
Overpowering obsession, manipulating my blackened heart and hurling me into burning
Oblivion, composing the malicious desire to self
Destruct-and i do-savagely i lacerate myself until extinction
So, you see a golden fleece,
snagged, hanging fire,
luminescent and inviting
on a fence of barbed wire.
Would you take it to your heart,
grasp it, reach for it,
or recoil for fear of laceration,
of pain, of expectation deficit?
Here lies the timeless dilemma:
if love does gloriously bloom,
will friendship bite the dust,
consigned unto it's doom?
In this paralysing conundrum
there lies my golden fleece,
a prison of uncertainty
with no sign of release.
How can we be sure
in resolve we can defeat it?
If we can have the cake
and ultimately eat it?
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