One slouch theory is that
thirty thorny
tin entities perhaps
from Triton (or
from Troy?) have
taken over
other tiny tory nits named Tony and o-
riented them toward a
fictional final era
of human machination
using virtual farce-sens-
ing resister dada in compunction with dig-
ital ghost industrial
simpletons.
With those who
want to test the waters,
and yet have no wish
to get their feet wet,
but wait to have their cake
(and eat it too)
handed to them on a plate,
I will neither split hairs
and pick nits
nor reason or debate
(or tear their thoughts to bits)
and yet,
if they're going to 'fly',
(jump to a conclusion)
either do it or don't,
as Yoda said, 'There is no try,'
I may not agree,
but it's not up to me,
and can only advise,
should they desire
to self-defenestrate ASAP,
'Take the first window of opportunity.'
past knoxville and idaho city there are a pair of adorable nitwits.
townspeople refer to them as kooky oddballs, a couple of twits.
their name is easy to learn. she is backward ditz; he is fritz.
brown eyes are lop-sided, their glances can be the pits.
watch out! cautions their neighbor, they will bore you to bits.
they showed up one day unexpectedly during a neighboring blitz.
I heard they were parisians, but another told me they are brits.
fritz can do a weird almost-hand-stand, and ditz does the splits.
twits do not put on airs; neither abides by the ritz or any glitz.
they eat bland foods like porridge, oatmeal, and plain grits.
calico cats come to them all the time, presenting them with kits.
their fighting is so common, their eyes are swollen to slits.
fritz likes to knit, so their house is full of junk that he knits.
afghans, scarves, hats, potholders, and unusable oven mitts.
ditz does not wash her hair, so it is full of lice, bugs and nits.
also have zits, and they have performed some really weird skits.
There goes my hero, he’s ordinary,
like in the Foo Fighters song
Carries no airs or graces,
makes me feel like I belong
A family member perhaps,
even a workmate, or friend
Someone who can be trusted,
on whom I tacitly depend
There goes my hero,
out in the rain mending a fence
Standing at the back of photos
not overpowering the lens
Cleaning blocked up drains,
unafraid to pick out nits
Struggles in the charts for decades,
without any major hits
There goes my hero, she’s loving,
rears her dead sisters child
Puts the kid through college,
works nightshifts and smiles
Seeks nothing in return,
a little thank you will suffice
Salt of the earth person
that only gives solid advice
There go my heroes,
all extraordinarily mundane
Not looking for recognition
having no time to complain
I’m certainly not one of them,
comfortable on my own ground
Real heroes have stamina,
going forward round after round
Could be my hero’s Cobain
who blew out his brains
Cared damn all for money
and even less about fame
To Honor My Hero Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Anoucheka Gangabissoon
07/31/22
Annoyances add up so fast
That sometimes you might be aghast
When life does prolong
All the things going wrong
And your stress level can’t be surpassed.
For somehow when nits multiply,
Even calm people cannot deny
That each problem presents
Such a knot that prevents
Peace of mind and I’d like to know why.
I guess life’s a balancing act
And the odds against joy have been stacked.
If you’re happy one day
It gets taken away;
That’s a guaranteed bona fide fact.
Louise
has fleas
And nits –
the pits!
Scratch head
In bed
Sore bites
from mites
Sleeps bad
goes mad
Bedding -
shedding
Gets cross
with boss
(Itchy
B itchy)
Feels rough
buys stuff
Lotions
potions
Bug foam
nit comb
Prepare
cleanse hair
Comb through
shampoo
Hair washed
lice quashed
Nit free -
happy!
FOOTLE-me Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Brian Strand
12/18/20
I: Sheep
next door to 19 chimneys
and 'the dark satanic mills'
a flock of sheep is grazing
oblivious in the hills.
II: Other Animals
venezuelan poodle moths
sea pigs, star-nosed moles
mata matas, sugar gliders
shoats and water voles.
aye-ayes, dik-diks, wobbegongs
chicken turtles, loons
shoebills, snipes and yeti crabs
and cozumel raccoons.
pink fairy armadillos
bilbys, 52-hertz whales
the red-lipped batfish, panda ants
and emperor helmet snails.
the pleasing fungus beetles, thrips
hellbenders, great potoos
lilac breasted rollers, bongos
glass frogs, kinkajous.
the rare long-wattled umbrellabirds
chubs and munchkin cats
satanic leaf-tailed geckos, shads
gars, nits and fancy rats.
Your past should be a reminder,
Of how far you have come.
Your past should be the key to the present,
Not to a ball and chain.
Your past should be a line in the sand,
That you never step back over.
Your past should be a record of past mistakes,
Not re-visited.
Your past should come with a map,
To buried treasure,
Not a bowl of rotten fruit.
Your past should spit you out,
Not suck you in.
Your past should leave you with a pair of Tweezers,
To pull out those annoying thorns in your side.
Not a microscope to pick out the nits.
Your past should send out some echoes of laughter,
Not waves of pain and regret.
Your past should be all present and accounted for,
So, you can stride confidently into a brighter future.
It must be tough to edit,
Searching calmly for mistakes,
Whether spelling or grammatical,
That every author makes.
Still, it bothers me when reading
And some errors have slipped by,
Causing me to wonder, how much
Did this edit-person try?
First an idiom I noticed –
“Chock it up” instead of “chalk.”
Just to clarify, I Googled;
I was justified to balk.
Next, a character is asked,
At someone’s house, to shed his shoes.
Yet, upon a piano’s pedals,
Those same sneakers he does use.
You might think it’s nits I’m picking
But such errors hit a nerve
For the oversights of editors
We readers don’t deserve.
MacBook Air
My powerful MacBook my amazing MacBook it is the best of the best
It can be seen from miles away with the 500 Nits
I love the depth in the lightweight skinny screen
The color in the screen controls my eyes
The round silver edges, feel so good, I rest my palm
The silver metal and sliver trackpad
Satisfying to rest my thumb on
everything in one touch of a button, my amazing MacBook
The light up shiny keyboard that works on a touch of a button
I have the most power in my hands I can control the world
With a single touch my computer turns on the keys glimmer and I AWE with amazement
As it gives the information and connection I desire
The startup sound of the MacBook just delicts your ears
The light texture of the screen
Lifelike and non-pixelated
The round black keys that just feel so good
As my fingers Wizz away typing the coolers are hard at work
Making sure I continue to love the computer
My Dearest Bertha baboon
I’ve recently joined your baboon troop
and Bertha you’re the star of the group
I’ve watched you swinging in the trees
Your agility brings me to my knees
You sit by my side and pick off my lice
we share those nits; oh they taste so nice!
‘The Funky Gibbon’ is my favourite song
I taught you the words, now you sing along!
There’s been no monkey business, although I’ve tried
But my attraction for you cannot be denied
My desire for you I cannot let pass …
I’m captivated by your huge red ass!
Its red colour means you’re due for ovulation
Lets get it on and increase the baboon population!
Love letter Contest
Sponsored by Viv Wigley
Contest rules - "A love letter, but NOT from a human or to a human. It must be from any other species, either to a member of the same species or maybe a different one"
10-30-17
A moment ago,
in a flicker of pique,
with a wave of the hand,
I dispersed them.
Glorious birds,
now they are back,
gold talons wrapped,
roosting.
Glorious birds,
high on a wire,
spearing the nits
in their feathers.
Donal Mahoney
I have a constant itch upon my head
So I scratch it with my finger
At night I head upstairs to bed
But the itching continues to linger
I scratched my head till early morn
and I tossed and turned all night
My head was itching; I felt so forlorn
Something definitely wasn't quite right
I checked my hair and started screaming
When I discovered a little head louse
It’d laid its eggs when I was dreaming
I want to hide myself away in my house!
I lotion my scalp, damned nits are minuscule
Then I comb hundreds of eggs from my hair
Guess I’ve caught them from the kids at school
BUT I’M THEIR TEACHER – IT JUST ISN’T FAIR!
An Unwanted Guest Contest
Sponsored by Shadow Hamilton
Pure Fiction write .. but I can't stop itching since I wrote this!
02~22~17
Why did Noah take nits?
Let's pull this Ark to bits,
God let Noah take two nits,
Plus two mosquitoes, each proboscis,
Gave humans encephalitis,
What is worse than this?
Why they bring malaria, blip!
What is worse than this?
As well as Noah's two nits,
God let Noah take two rats,
With two fleas on board, that's that,
So Noah brought bubonic plague,
While lovely unicorns floated away,
Then on all those wooden decks,
Noah took two woodpeckers, by heck,
So that was the end of Noah's Ark,
Lucky he wasn't eaten by sharks,
So, why God, did you plan all this, mate?
I know Noah was human to make mistakes,
Taking rats, fleas, mossies, and nits, great!
Was taking two nits more than fate?
All the students were very aware
There were nits crawling in her long hair
Perching on the next seat
Trying to be discrete
I got itchy and had to move chair
based on a real event
10th November 2015
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