Funny Lyric Poems | Examples

These Funny Lyric poems are examples of Lyric poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Lyric Funny poems written by international poets.


Premium MemberI Can Lie Too

Verse 1]
You're so incredible, 
the most amazing man.
I'm taken to new heights of pleasure 
with the touch of your hand.
There will never be another man 
in my life who compares.
Your eyes, your smile... 
no one as perfect anywhere.
I will never forget, or stop loving you...
Well would ya lookie here, my dear…
 I can lie too!

[Chorus]
 I can lie just like you do!
Make promises, plan dreams that will never come true.
I didn't know I could be such a fool!
 I guess I was never, ever 
good enough for you...
See? there I go again, I can lie too!

[Verse2]
You are the man 
of every woman's dreams.
You sure knew your way 
around my body
I guess I had you going
 with all the fuss I made
So glad I was the star of all my high-school plays
Because you are an imposter...
And baby I should win an Oscar…
Cause as you can see
I can lie too!

[Chorus]
 I can lie just like you do!
Make promises, plan the dreams that are never coming true.
I didn't know I could be such a fool!
 I guess I was never, ever good enough for you...
See? there I go again, I can lie too!


Premium MemberWish I Had A Wish

Lyrics By JT Curtis

I Wish I Had A Wish

I wish I had the time
to write a little verse
making it a song
not short or very long
for better or for worse
But it probably wouldn't rhyme

I wish I had some money
Now, that would be a laugh
Growing from a tree
falling down, around on me
The Taxman would take half
Now,that's not even funny

I wish I had a friend
joining me to the finish
to take my hand when I've fallen
and come running as I'm calling
But in time, it would diminish
And I'm sure that it would end

Oh, I wish I had a wife
it would be a happy time
we could sit and talk for hours
see the world, and make it ours
But then the final crime
One of us, must loose our life

Oh, I wish I had a wish
I would put it on a plate
and serve it up to you
to see what you would do
something simple, something great
Or just leave it on the dish

Adrienne

Snoopy, kewpie, Barbie, Ken,
Chicken-licken, Hen-len,
Can’t compete with Adrienne.

Andrew Jackson, William Penn?
“Bolero”, “Arthur”, “Tarzan”, “Ten”?
Not a patch on Adrienne.

My Adrienne’s a honey:
She’s witty, pretty, funny:
looks great in silks and satins
and mixes mean Manhattans.

Tagus, Tiber, Severn, Seine,
zloty, sous, sestertii, yen -
I prefer my Adrienne.

Armstrong, Aldrin, Colonel Glenn?
Zoroaster? Zion? Zen?
Think I’ll stick with Adrienne!

Premium MemberRomance and Vampires

Romance and Vampires

Premium MemberDirty Little Business

It's a dirty little business
And I've never stooped so low
But if I stay here long enough
I'll dig myself a hole

There's trouble all around
And death to be expected
But the tools that I have found
leave's a wound, that's undetected 

It'll take time for all to see
What I've done here on this day
'bout the time that they take notice
I'll be far enough away

Now, I have them lying there
Soon, covered up with weeds
But if I want to grow tomatoes
I have to plant these seeds


Premium MemberSpitin Seeds To my friend Art

I dedicate this song to my friend Art Hill a fellow musician  
 who really does keep watermelons handy 
during these summer months
 to share with anyone who cares



Arthur Likes His watermelon
So, he keeps one close a hand
He gets them at the market
Sometimes a roadside stand

But no matter where he gets it
When it's time for him to feed
You can catch him out in front
on his porch, spitin' seeds

When the Sun is murder
I walk over to his place
And sure enough he's sittin'
Stuffin' melon in his face

With one hand on his melon
The other with a knife
He leans over to me
And offers me a slice

It's funny, on a hot day
Cause Arthur knows our needs
And before I can say watermelon
We're both spitin'seeds

Premium MemberMissing You

It's a funny
 strange thing
When you're not around

Like the lack
 of a smile 
On a circus clown

Or a ferris wheel,
 With all empty seats
 a candied apple, More tart than sweet

Like a merry-go-round
 That looks kind of scary
Or that huge prize teddy
 You're not here to carry

 
An amusement park, On a winters day

And as long as you're gone
That's the way it will staaaaaaay

Premium MemberMy Watermelon Song

Watermelon is a hard word 
to try and find a rhyme
And I thought that I could
If I would take the time

So, I've travel far and wide
From Mount Dora to Saint Helens
But couldn't find a word
That rhymed with

 watermelon

I have asked Honest Men
all the way , Down to a Felon 
I've whispered pretty please
Other times simply yellin'
Searching every corner of the earth just like Magellan
And I still can't find a rhyming word for

 watermelon

I've pondered over books
From real trash to Best Sellin'
Worked out every rhyme scheme
Till my brain started swellin'
If Mister Webster knows,   he for sure ain't tellin'
About a word that just might rhyme with


watermelon

Big Blue Cow

I saw her in a meadow high
Where red flowers touch the sky
Her eyes were mournful, so much inside
I looked within, skepticism died

(chorus)
I'm in love with a big blue cow
And a big blue cow loves me
She don't have a job, but she survives
Without that college degree
She don't take drugs, and she don't drink
We agree about politics, I think.

I used to date a gal, who talked a storm
But I felt cold, I had to feel warm
I wanted a date who understood me
This cow is electric, I touched the fence, and I see.

Now its the wrong species, my parents would plea
But species is what I say it must be
In Kindergarten, they indoctrinated me
with a gender book, for kids aged three

At this point, you might say I'm moronic
But true love is always platonic
over 28 percent of young women say they are gay 
I think that society made them that way

So don't laugh at me when I avow
eternal affection for my big blue cow
I'll go to the meadow, and gaze in her eyes
where bees buzz, and the condor cries

You may say I believe what I want to believe
But who doesn't, and love can't deceive.
© Gem Stone  Create an image from this poem.

Premium Member7 Spot Winner a song


©7 Spot Winner  - Artimus The Poet, Susan Manley 12/24/2024

Inspired by a meme and my boyfriend.

Premium MemberA Wacky Medley - Christmas Song Parodies

Deck the Halls
Whacked the guy that stole my money
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!
"Jail's the place for you now, sonny,"
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!
"Grant you pardon? Kill that notion!"
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!
Toss the key now to the ocean
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!

Good King Wencelas
Christmas Day has come around
Let's play Dirty Santa
Where your goodwill won't rebound
We'll just go bananas
Be as cheap as we can be
Spend no more than fiver
And I think we all agree
Everyone's a miser

We Wish You A Merry Christmas
A bad girl I've been
Forgive me my sin
Please don't give me charcoal
For the gift swap this year

CHRISTMAS DISCIPLINE

CHRISTMAS DISCIPLINE

Just a maybe, 
pa rum pum pum pum
I am a poor boy too 
pa rum pum pum pum
Do not think me insolent 
pa rum pum pum pum
But I have no instrument 
pa rum pum pum pum, 
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum
All I have to beat is here 
pa rum pum pum pum
On my bum

He looked at me
pa rum pum pum pum
In a funny sort of way
pa rum pum pum pum
I missed the class to play
pa rum pum pum pum
So no excuse today
pa rum pum pum pum, 
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum
You see the cane marks
pa rum pum pum pum
On my bum

Gogyokha

Gogyokha

The heart-throb telling me about
a lovely pigeon, Habiba(Heart-desire)
courage & strength upon my mind
'tis tagging to love her lingeringly
I promise to be your husband.

Premium MemberChicken -- after Harry Nilsson

Me and my chicken 
Won't take a lickin'
Whenever he crows
Everyone knows it's
Me and my chicken.

Me and my chicken
Our hearts are tickin'
Cluckin' and pickin'
Here in the thicken 
We keep on kickin'

Me and my chicken
Rooster and wiccan
You be awestricken
Your heart will quicken
For me and my chicken.

Premium MemberFIRST DRAFT, DAVID GATES SONG

I would give everything I own
Give up my hat, toupee, and comb
I would give everything I own
Just to scratch your back again.

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