Funny Lyric Poems

Carrots talk
Peas sing
A poet is the tangerine

"Celery," said Lettuce.
"What?" Celery said.
"What do you dream of when you go to bed?"

"I dream of people's faces
Coming so...

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Tea for two, for me, for you
Buckwheats for three, you, and you, and me
Huckleberries for four, that's what we adore
Spring rolls for five make us...

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This Ain't a Goddamn Country Song

You know I love my Rock and Roll

I wouldn't write a Country Song

'Cause that's not how I roll

This song it...

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Smarter than a dolphin golfing a par five with two raging rabid bears

Smarter than a blind man walking up seven uneven stairs

Smarter than a clunky...

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(after J. P.) 

I’ve been workin’ every morning
Since my sixteenth year of life
Have to leave my crying babies
And my sweet, consoling wife
But there is no...

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PRAISE STOMP--
 
And if David danced before the LORD with all his might
This must have been a funny sight
To his brethren and fellow man 
David...

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The house is much quieter,
since you went away
I feel so much happier,
without you around
I'm glad your not here today,
to bitch me out
And my laundry's alot...

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I walk into the AYA studio, apprehensive as I have never taken a dance class.
"Come on it!" Suzette, our dance master says. On the wall...

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Here's a lighter bro
Spark up that home grown
Smoke going up ashes going down
This Indica ain't from around town
And I haven't seen you in a while
Since...

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If you're loony and you love it clap your hands, 
	(clap clap clap)
If you're loony and you love it clap your hands, 
	(clap clap clap)
If...

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I want to gamble,
So let the highest bidder take my heart,
I won’t grumble,
As long as you treat me with a heart,
We might as well get...

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Yo em whats up 
have you fried your brain fuck
I listened to you while i grew up 
I heard your depressed because your white 
Well...

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Its 3:00 a.m. in the morning
The plane is finally touching down
It’s funny - my thoughts and feelings
Have already beaten me to the ground

I know this...

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Firewood in stove is singing
with the flame again, anew!
Sheep are in the sky; it’s meaning
that I sleep. Oh, yes, I knew.
I woke up with early...

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The sun is tucked snuggly, in the cuddly sea,                ...

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for Granny Artemis

You're myyyyyy....
Yippy Skippy Sweetheart
Make me Yip and Skip all day
When life is poop
And I'm stuck in the soup
There's one thing I can say:...

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American National Anthem Parody.

Jose can you see, 
if the White House is still there?
it appears to have burned, 
as there's ash where it was.
But we...

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Years ago I wrote a jingle for a real store.
They didn't know I did, but I did.




The soda pop shop
The soda pop shop
Be sure to...

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I got your card and the flowers today
I guess you’re going to try this one more time
After all the pain you put me through
There’s not...

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hull loo from the rip tide 'o this eastern sea board
of these united states - no always in a chord
with each other - sum give...

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