Long Vicars Poems

Noise ,Noise, Noise
Bickering and ''whoremongering''
Dirty money for campaigning
repudiation and gallivanting
mudslinging and maligning
Brainwashing and false promises

How did you get on this bloodstained road 
Who advice you to  follow Uncle Pan's  path
A path that is...

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 *Inspired By Jocko Willinks Triumphant Victory Affirmations/ I AM Victorious/ 
 Alpha Affirmations 


 O' Great Victory, How you have shined down upon thee
 On these Wings Of Triumph, So High, So Victorious, like...

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Fires at a blue pills lab threw up a cloud
Settling over the town like a great shroud
And this gigantic mushroom 
Created a baby boom
Because all of the men were very proud...

Tom Cunningham 

It’s no wonder...

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Adolescent infatuations...never consummated

Greetings reader from a cross between an aging seventy inch long (ringing ding dong) haired pencil necked geek and a Norwegian bachelor farmer wannabe; meaning yours truly actually a virtually married Pennsylvania man,...

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Look out lads here we come
Couple of wild girls out for fun
Perfect hair and makeup's fine
Brand new perfume, we smell divine
Skin tight jeans, mini skirts and skimpy knickers
Can't wait for the party its theme is...

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Call it what you may
But I will not go back the other way
Call it what you may
I did not come here to dance or play
I have the keys to the golden box
And I would like...

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(A LIFE TIME IN A DAY)
                      I
So! This is what it’s all about,
to think...

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There’s a party tonight so I bouffe up my hair
Pamper and powder my sweet derrière,
Arrive at the door, all done up to impress.....
Oh man, I forgot! Invite said “fancy dress”!

Pete and Sue are here, seems...

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As Women now have more power and rightly now have a voice
In the western world there are many more opportunities
Than there used to be and so much choice.

While men are today unashamedly in touch with...

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At the edge of the town, hidden amongst the trees
Is a nudist camp where folks walk around as they please
They all go about their business strutting their stuff
And as you've probably guessed, they're all in...

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Window cleaning is my trade and I want to tell my story
Like the time I saw the Vicars wife in the bath in all her glory
Or when I saw the Vicar tied up, I thought...

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We are going to dig to bury our dead:
Mother, father, sisters and brothers,
Uncles, aunts, friends and strangers.
We are going to inter our dead:
Archbishop, pastors, Houngans and vicars.

The altar boys in a row are profusely bleeding.
The...

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Little town do not frown, this is no country circus, there are no smiling clowns,
   please wear that pretty party gown
   One road in and one road out to get us...

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OLD MA.

Old Ma always gave the kids a nice treat
Always nuts and never anything sweet
But they soon found out why
Nuts were in great supply
Choc nut bars she'd only suck cos no teeth...

NO HIDING PLACE.

An old...

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Dear Readers: In an effort to contribute my bit to the revelry of this day which is usually dedicated to sheer nonsense, I'd like to introduce a Q and A series I call "Grins and...

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We were invited to a party; the theme was tarts and vicars
Though I better get in the part and get some skimpy knickers
Well I can’t go out in my ‘Bridget Jones’ drawers
If I give them...

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I don't believe in Santa Claus
The way that I once did
I know dad brings the presents
Cos I found where they were hid

Don't be silly said my mum
Santa's not your pop
I said I found a wig...

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In aquamarine ran off my warmth traversing 
mild meadows with swallows of ash 
past the pink sunset 

Three cherry cardinals swooped past partly pleased 
the brook trickled near 

Evading were than icon imaginings 
the following...

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Two guys by a bus stop, and they have nowhere to go.

They begin merging plucks and ribbits into a melting comfort.

Their destination is the Earth, and sedans honk at them.

Red stop sign becomes a resting...

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The Problem of Europe.
 
Christianity is a rising mist I normally do not bother to
think of  I dislike all religions as ill omens told fairytales
demanding to be taken seriously.
 
The worship of Jesus could have been...

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My auntie wears 'Bridget Jones' knickers
But last week at tea at the vicars
She’d purloined MY lace thong
It was morally wrong
T’was the cause of very loud snickers

My thong’s wedged between her butt crack
Stuck firmly between front...

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A day in the life of the Evening News
Headline stories and various views
Robson Green, stole the vicars wife
I forgive him said the vicar, that's just life
An aeroplane, is hit by a drone
A girl is mugged...

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Love makes the lonely heart sing,
for it would rather die!
Like a bell that's lost its ring,
or a forgotten one's sigh!

The heart needs someone to care,
Who knows of its sorrow.
For nothing else can compare,
no joy that...

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Our Religious Inheritance 

Our cultural Christianity has become Meaningless 
Don`t think about it
God is all forgiving 
Lukewarm morning piss has our beliefs became 
We make fun of vicars
Other denominations laugh at our religion
Try telling a...

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Yesterday:
Ant-hillers danced within the sky 
(Pig-watchers and men clashed!)

Today:
(The sky still cloudy for ant-hillers)
Every ant is summoned
To departmental communions
Where pot-bellied acolytes
(Armed with their mater’s song)
Meet the hungry lads & lasses –

The vergers
Spoke like verslibrists
Their lines...

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