Deathbed Lament of An Everyday Person

(A LIFE TIME IN A DAY) I So! This is what it’s all about, to think that the next time I close my eyes, will be the last time on this pretentious earth. I’ve often wondered about this particular time, this waiting for the final countdown. God! Life’s past by so quickly, here I am, my ancient body withering away, yet my brain so alive so active, with vivid pages of my mind constantly turning to any chapter in any sequence at will. II Then I wonder why; what’s life about, asking no doubt the same questions as millions before me, Why? Yes why, the great secret being of course nobody knows, only guessing that’s what the powers of this earth have to submit to, simple speculation. III I suppose I’m one of the lucky ones, being able to die this way, my rapid thoughts tell me. “It’s the waiting for it to happen, that’s the hard part, but then I spare a thought for them that leave us in more tragic circumstances, the very young, with no time at all to express. IV I wonder if I’ll see all my relations, also all of the old faithful I have raised, not forgetting the odd budgie. Do hope there is not a choir, never could stand young lads screeching away, offending my ears in some sort of foreign language. V Hope it is not crowded, after all a few billion have gone before me, maybe I’ll have no earthly form, only a memory floating in a tiny bubble, with the power only to think, without the ability to touch or feel, without the need of sex or other carnal pursuits. VI Can’t say I have ever harmed anyone, or stolen from anyone who could not afford to lose the meager pickings of my deceitfulness, but then it is easy to offend ones fellow man without knowing."Sorry I have no time to expiate.” VII My goodness! Death’s a great leveler, I’ve never thought of it this way, no matter what political system one believes in, where as one is white, black, yellow or brown. catholic, protestant, Jew or unbeliever, death is final for us all, we all go the same way. VIII It’s got to be God’s experiment, with life being played in stages, each one different from the other, neither better nor worst according to the almighty script. But serene beauty, no wars or conflict I cannot envisage, the human element would see to that. IX No! I cannot imagine a life of angels singing, rock groups playing, or every dead person’s wish being fortuitously played out, after all earth has Satan, who knows what the next world as to offer in temptation, dictators, two faced politicians, hard up vicars, no doubt they’ll all be there! X My major weakness! In this life is my inability to make one’s mind up, but in this instance I feel I don’t have much choice, in fact I’m bloody sure I don’t have a choice. But alas lovely earth with the eve of the day now melting into the eve of my life, I warm to the inevitable………… © Harry J Horsman 1988