Grins and Groaners: Folio 1

Dear Readers: In an effort to contribute my bit to the revelry of this day which is usually dedicated to sheer nonsense, I'd like to introduce a Q and A series I call "Grins and Groaners"...rated PG for Puns Galore...which is also dedicated to sheer nonsense. ...Happy April Fool's Day, P S... Q: What would you call a straight-laced swine copulating with a small, rotund garden rodent? A: A square pig in a round vole. Q: What might be an occasional "hook-up" between some homosexual vicars? A: Reverending. Q: What is the story of a dyslexic girl who loses a glass slipper at a palace ball? A: Prinderella and the Cince.* *Not entirely original. I heard it somewhere, but can't remember where. Q: What is the weekly meeting at Starbuck's of a group of bronchially challenged ladies? A: A coughy clatch. Q: For theatre and film buffs, what do you call the fibbin' in December? A: The lyin' in Winter. (The Lion in Winter) Q: How do genealogists in Edinburgh go about constructing a family tree? A: By connecting the Scots. Q: What is a reference to someone with "Bette Davis eyes"? A: An optical allusion. Q: What is the name of an ornamental fish that lunched on a thousand chips? A: Helen of koi. Q: What's the difference between Jesus and Muhammad? A: About six hundred years. Q: What's another term for "killing with kindness"? A: Assault and flattery.