The Window Cleaner
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Window cleaning is my trade and I want to tell my story
Like the time I saw the Vicars wife in the bath in all her glory
Or when I saw the Vicar tied up, I thought there'd been a slaying
I called the police but it turned out, t'was a game that they were playing.
And Mrs Smith from two doors down, well she is kind of hot
Always leaves big gaps in her drapes just to show me what she's got
Next door to her a stripper lives, well she just doesn't care
She walks around as I try to clean and yes she's totally bare.
Then across from her a nymphomaniac lives, she's always wanting more
Whenever I call to clean her glass there's men queueing at her door
I always cringe when I knock her door to ask her for my money
She always offers payment in flesh; winks and calls me honey.
Next door to her is 'Dirty Pete' watches movies all day long
Not Hollywood films you understand but titles like King Dong
Well I'm no prude each to his own but quadrophonic sound!
The first time that he blasted it, I fell off my ladder to the ground.
Round the corner is Jim and Sue, she always calls me handsome
I heard it from the man next door they want me for a threesome
Well maybe to some weirdy folk, it is their fantasy
Not my thing I assure you 'cos she is eighty three.
The sorority house I'd leave till last ' cos I found it hard to cope
They always leave the windows ajar to let out the fumes of dope
Then the world around me, would turn colourful and bright
My eyes would see some very strange things and I'd fly high as a kite.
See that's what I have to endure, to make an honest living
I never tell my wife you know, she'd be so unforgiving
When I get home she always asks, "Darling how was your day?"
I tell her each time same old same old, but it helps me pay my way.
Written on the 8th November 2020
Copyright © Tom Cunningham | Year Posted 2020
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