Notes About The Poem

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The Window Cleaner

Window cleaning is my trade and I want to tell my story
Like the time I saw the Vicars wife in the bath in all her glory
Or when I saw the Vicar tied up, I thought there'd been a slaying
I called the police but it turned out, t'was a game that they were playing.

And Mrs Smith from two doors down, well she is kind of hot
Always leaves big gaps in her drapes just to show me what she's got
Next door to her a stripper lives, well she just doesn't care
She walks around as I try to clean and yes she's totally bare.

Then across from her a nymphomaniac lives, she's always wanting more
Whenever I call to clean her glass there's men queueing at her door
I always cringe when I knock her door to ask her for my money
She always offers payment in flesh; winks and calls me honey.

Next door to her is 'Dirty Pete' watches movies all day long
Not Hollywood films you understand but titles like King Dong
Well I'm no prude each to his own but quadrophonic sound!
The first time that he blasted it, I fell off my ladder to the ground.

Round the corner is Jim and Sue, she always calls me handsome
I heard it from the man next door they want me for a threesome
Well maybe to some weirdy folk, it is their fantasy
Not my thing I assure you 'cos she is eighty three.

The sorority house I'd leave till last ' cos I found it hard to cope 
They always leave the windows ajar to let out the fumes of dope
Then the world around me, would turn colourful and bright
My eyes would see some very strange things and I'd fly high as a kite. 

See that's what I have to endure, to make an honest living
I never tell my wife you know, she'd be so unforgiving
When I get home she always asks, "Darling how was your day?"
I tell her each time same old same old, but it helps me pay my way.


Written on the 8th November 2020
Copyright © | Year Posted 2020

Poem

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12
George Avatar
April 5, 2022 at 7:20 PM
Such a hilarious read ! How all these weird characters have come together in one locality.... I wonder..... one pair beating the other ! However so glad for the great laugh you allowed me, Tom.
Cunningham Avatar
April 6, 2022 at 12:13 AM
Thank you very much Valsa, I'm happy that you enjoyed the humour. The world needs more of it. Enjoy your day. Tom
Kendrick Avatar
May 23, 2021 at 2:15 PM
Good flow, rhythm, and rhyme in these lines. A little risque' I would definitely say. It takes all kinds to make up our world even though some of the kinds are definitely on the wrong road leading to destruction. Thanks for the visit to my page. Sara
Cunningham Avatar
May 23, 2021 at 2:40 PM
Thank you very much Sara, I know its a bit on the bawdy side but I can imagine some things like that a window cleaner would encounter. Tom
Hershey Avatar
December 13, 2020 at 1:18 PM
This is a laugh out loud read! Your writing is so enjoyable. I imagine the window cleaner never has a boring day at work, thank you for the fun read, Annette
Cunningham Avatar
December 13, 2020 at 1:25 PM
Thank you very much Annette, im happy that you enjoyed the humour. Tom
Tor Avatar
November 21, 2020 at 10:19 AM
Tom so many fringe benefits lol.
Cunningham Avatar
November 21, 2020 at 11:36 AM
Thank you very much Michael, lol, he certainly loves his job, rain, snow or shine. Tom
Brown  Avatar
November 13, 2020 at 5:58 PM
Haha brilliant!! Really enjoyed reading this. Well done!
Cunningham Avatar
November 21, 2020 at 9:51 AM
Thank you very much Lisa, glad it gave you a laugh. Tom
Laurie Avatar
November 13, 2020 at 4:14 PM
G’day Tom … it seems like a great neighborhood to work in Tom. Do you get danger money? - thanks Tom - Lindsay
Cunningham Avatar
March 17, 2021 at 7:23 AM
Thank you Lindsay, danger money and perks, life is good. Tom
La France Avatar
November 11, 2020 at 10:51 AM
Tom, a fun read, and the music is perfect _Constance
Cunningham Avatar
November 11, 2020 at 10:53 AM
Thank you very much Constance, im happy you enjoyed the humour. It was the song that inspired me. Tom
Andresen Avatar
November 11, 2020 at 3:53 AM
- A wonderful humorous story, Tom :) - What we do not know ... we have not hurt :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
Cunningham Avatar
November 11, 2020 at 5:22 AM
Thanks Anne, so true, hope you are well, just taking a break from painting. I'm on the home straight now. Tom
Devonshire Avatar
November 10, 2020 at 4:11 PM
LOL What a tough life it is to be a window cleaner! Your creative approach to this already witty topic had me in stitches, Tom, especially "King Dong." A delightful poem for my favorites!!! Hugs, Carolyn
Cunningham Avatar
November 10, 2020 at 4:16 PM
Thank you very much Carolyn, im happy that you enjoyed it, thanks too for the fave, I hope that you are keeping well. Tom
Logan Avatar
November 10, 2020 at 10:09 AM
I would imagine window cleaners see a lot of things, and I think your imagination could've kept writing all sorts of scenarios. Good writing, Tom!
Cunningham Avatar
November 10, 2020 at 12:06 PM
Thank you very much Jenna, I only clean my windows and never see anything lol I might add some more when time allows, still knee deep in paint but hopefully tomorrow I should be done. Have swapped my lance for a paintbrush. Hope you are well. Tom
Sands Avatar
November 10, 2020 at 5:15 AM
LOL Tom. This is funny. I was cleaning windows at my house the other day. Thankfully, just my home, nothing else to contend with :)
Cunningham Avatar
November 10, 2020 at 5:39 AM
Thank you very much Heidi, bet they have some stories to tell lol Tom
Wolf Avatar
November 9, 2020 at 6:48 PM
Tom, this is SUCH a classic! What a bawdy, wink-wink romp! Just love it. Thanks for the laughs this evening, my friend. Here's to your funny-bone. Keep 'em coming! Grins wider than chins, Gershon
Cunningham Avatar
November 10, 2020 at 12:19 AM
Thank you very much Gershon, im happy that you enjoyed it. What a job eh, lol Tom
Goldsmith Avatar
November 9, 2020 at 11:14 AM
Way toooooo cute and funny. I am still laughing. What a great job you have washing all the windows. You are a great story teller/writer. I also love the picture. Have a great day writing away................
Cunningham Avatar
November 9, 2020 at 11:16 AM
Thank you very much Paula, im happy you enjoyed the humour. I hope you are well. Tom
Edmonds  Avatar
November 9, 2020 at 11:06 AM
Tom that’s just hilarious, gave me a good laugh, a window cleaner would never get bored if all that’s going on behind closed doors. Loved it, Belle
Cunningham Avatar
November 9, 2020 at 11:11 AM
Thank you very much Belle, I think I chose the wrong profession lol Bet they see many unusual sights Tom
James Avatar
November 9, 2020 at 4:14 AM
LOL, absolutely brilliant Tom, this was a laugh out loud moment for me and is a sure fav too, Hope you had a good weekend, Emilia : )
Cunningham Avatar
November 9, 2020 at 4:18 AM
Thank you very much Emilia, glad you enjoyed the humour. Thanks too for the fave, up to my neck painting at the moment, another couple of days and it should be done. Hope you're well too. Tom
Y. Avatar
November 9, 2020 at 2:03 AM
Lol! Tom, I really enjoyed your humorous tale. That is one interesting neighborhood. Well done:-) Alexis
Cunningham Avatar
November 9, 2020 at 4:15 AM
Thank you Alexis, I only clean my own windows but those that do it for a living, I bet they've seen a few sights lol Tom
Buhagiar Avatar
November 8, 2020 at 10:03 PM
Very witty poem. Your neighbours are something to remember. ~~
Cunningham Avatar
November 9, 2020 at 12:58 AM
Thank you Victor, heard that blast from the past George Formby, when im cleaning windows and it inspired me. Tom
Canerdy Avatar
November 8, 2020 at 5:23 PM
This is quite a story, Tom--vividly descriptive and hilarious Janice
Cunningham Avatar
November 9, 2020 at 12:56 AM
Thank you very much Janice, im happy you enjoyed it Tom
Dietrich Avatar
November 8, 2020 at 12:54 PM
great humorous writing, Tom. I really enjoyed this. (such a neighborhood. haha)
Cunningham Avatar
November 8, 2020 at 12:55 PM
Thank you very much Andrea, it will put our neighborhood on the world map lol. Tom
Bauer Avatar
November 8, 2020 at 12:26 PM
ha! i can always use a good laugh, tom - thanks for supplying me with one today...
Cunningham Avatar
November 8, 2020 at 12:28 PM
Thank you very much Ilene, im happy you enjoyed it. Tom
One Avatar
November 8, 2020 at 12:26 PM
I agree with Bill and I think there was something similar to the carry on movies about a window cleaner.. you always make me smile...
Cunningham Avatar
November 8, 2020 at 12:30 PM
Thanks S.O. I met Barbara Windsor once in Lewis's in Birmingham. I used to love watching them, classic British comedy. Tom
Romios Avatar
November 8, 2020 at 11:56 AM
Make this a POTD... I envy you so. That you can be funny but Never nasty, Maria loved it, as well. Pangie xx
Cunningham Avatar
November 8, 2020 at 12:09 PM
Thank you Panagiota, im happy you and Maria enjoyed it. Had a break from painting. Tom
De Beaulieu Avatar
November 8, 2020 at 11:24 AM
Hello Tom, I also think he enjoys his job. He never knows what will happen next. Thensurprised when something happens. Enjoy your day my friend.
De Beaulieu Avatar
November 9, 2020 at 10:16 AM
Hello Tom, I think he does as well. Your right, he won't tell his wife. LOL. Enjoy your day my friend.
Cunningham Avatar
November 8, 2020 at 11:56 AM
Thank you very much Darlene I think he does, but he wont be telling his wife lol. Tom
Pandit Avatar
November 8, 2020 at 11:23 AM
Brilliant--hilarious, Tom. Amazed by your creative spirits and story telling skills. A fun read, indeed!
Cunningham Avatar
November 8, 2020 at 11:55 AM
Thank you Vijay. Im happy you enjoyed it. Tom
Flood Avatar
November 8, 2020 at 11:16 AM
Tom, that’s right up my street. I suppose window cleaning has its ups and downs... but I kinda thought that referred to the ladder. Anyway, if your window cleaning round ever comes up for sale, give us the nod, eh. Well done, Tom.
Cunningham Avatar
November 8, 2020 at 11:54 AM
Thank you very much Terry, im pleased you enjoyed the humour. Im adding you to the list, you're fifth lol. Tom
12
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