Girls Night Out - By Jan Allison and Jenny Brewer

Look out lads here we come Couple of wild girls out for fun Perfect hair and makeup's fine Brand new perfume, we smell divine Skin tight jeans, mini skirts and skimpy knickers Can't wait for the party its theme is 'Tarts and Vicars' It's Saturday night we're on the pull and we don't have a care Gosh we look so gorgeous and make a stunning pair Arrive at the party it is in full swing Got my eye on a man without a wedding ring Fella comes up to talk to me, he's an ancient bloke What is it with the inflated ego of some men folk 'Where have you been all my life I'll take you home you can be my wife' I consider my answer carefully and look at him with scorn Look - for the first ten years mate I wasn't even born We have a cocktail and then we have another We are really ‘best mates’ I couldn’t wish for any other Do some disco dancing we both wiggle and shake our tush Men swarm like bees round a honey pot, boy they are in a rush Talk dark and handsome man comes and chats to me I fancy him so much for my breakfast, dinner then my tea Sadly from his demeanor he bats for the other side Such a pity about this I could have been his bride My poor mate is so flat chested her boobs are like fried eggs She makes up for it in other ways she’s got the most amazing legs She was wearing her ‘chicken fillets’ stuffed right down her bra But her wiggling dancing dislodged one oh boy it flew so far Landed on this gorgeous guy’s lap I think his name was Dennis By the end of the night they were having fun and playing tonsil tennis He said he loved his fried eggs he had them every morning Think my mates pulled I can see a new romance dawning As my friend and I are propping up the bar, What is it I spy shining from afar Something gleaming catches my eye, Two glistening silver poles, oh we must have a try Positioned over by the exit wall, If we have a go we will have a ball I grab her arm - we didn't need an invite, Two pole dancing girls what a glorious site Off come the jeans, of which I have to peel, Revealing my flesh, so the lads can 'cop a feel' Shame we didn’t know, we’d have worn our nipple tassels They really liven up our act and give it razzle dazzle So, up and down the poles we slide as if to win a prize, Which to us is really easy because we 'Pole-Da-Cise' In fact we don't just do it, it's something we both teach, It has turned my wobbly bum into a well-toned peach. As we grip around the poles with just our inner thighs, All the men gather round and drool with staring eyes. As we hang ourselves upside down and stretch out so far, It's just pure luck that both of us kept our boobs in our bra, Then we do the 'starfish' legs spread far and wide, Definitely not a position if your modesty you wish to hide. Glad I've got my thong on and my mate her skimpy knickers Or we'd give an eyeful to the assembled tarts and vicars The men who now surround us look at us with great surprise They’re not staring at our bodies but looking at our eyes Vying for our attention trying to get in on the action Hoping between one of us is a physical attraction Phone numbers are passed to us its like the yellow pages Years since we had attention from men of all ages You never would believe we were both in the over 60's club Better head off home for a cocoa and a long soak in the tub Collaboration poem for 'Girls Night Out' Contest. - Now the contest is closed I have added our names to the title as the contest was judged blind Sponsored By Darren Watson ~Awarded 1st place~ 31st May 2014