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What Can Go Wrong When Wearing a Thong

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We were invited to a party; the theme was tarts and vicars Though I better get in the part and get some skimpy knickers Well I can’t go out in my ‘Bridget Jones’ drawers If I give them a flash I wouldn't get any applause So it’s off to the lingerie store to do some stopping Won’t take my hubby or his eyes would be a popping The shop had knickers of every colour shape and size - Selection was enormous, I couldn't believe my eyes In the end I chose a beautiful lacy pink thong It fitted so snugly what could go wrong Back home to change then off to the party we did go When we arrived the party was in full flow Everyone was in character – but then I heard a ‘vicar’ swear People started pointing could they see my skimpy underwear? I began to feel embarrassed, feel really uncomfy Then I discovered what the others could see Skirt tangled in the thong - at my almost naked butt they could peek It was time to turn on my heels and turn the other cheek! A TOTALLY FICTITIOUS POEM WRITTEN ESPECIALLY FOR JUDY KONOS Entered in Whats The Big Idea Contest - idea for a new contest is to write about embarrassing moments - fact or fiction 17TH May 2015

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Bill Lindsay

Date: 7/26/2015 12:18:00 PM

So did you get invited back? ;)

Jan Allison
Date: 7/26/2015 12:23:00 PM

LOL Bill I have never been to one of these parties in my life - just a fun write:-) hugs jan xx

Rachel Preston

Date: 7/12/2015 4:23:00 PM

Ha loved it, reminded me of my hospital embarrassment poem. It's a real gem!

Jan Allison
Date: 7/13/2015 2:53:00 AM

I LOVE to write with humour Rachel it is what gets me through:-) hugs Jan xx

Seren Roberts

Date: 6/2/2015 4:42:00 PM

Loved it Jan.....Seren

Jan Allison
Date: 6/2/2015 5:01:00 PM

Thanks so much Seren:-) Hugs Jan xx

James Fraser

Date: 5/29/2015 5:19:00 PM

There's no better poetry than cheeky poetry ;-) still chuckling here Jan, nice one :) xx James xx

Jan Allison
Date: 5/29/2015 5:25:00 PM

You know I have a cheeky sense of humour James - have to rein it in sometimes lol - but if people don't like my style - simple don't read my poems lol:-) Hugs Jan xx

Michael Dom

Date: 5/28/2015 12:46:00 AM

I like that take on 'turn the other cheek'. Good fun poem!

Jan Allison
Date: 5/28/2015 2:36:00 AM

I was delighted Dave liked my idea:-) Hugs Jan xx

Eve Roper

Date: 5/27/2015 9:07:00 PM

Jan, so much laughter in this poem, a 7 and congratulations on your wonderful win. Hugs :~)

Jan Allison
Date: 5/28/2015 2:36:00 AM

Thanks Eve:-) Hugs jan xx

Nandita Das

Date: 5/27/2015 8:13:00 AM

Enjoyed reading this again. Congratulations on your win.

Jan Allison
Date: 5/27/2015 9:07:00 AM

Thanks so much Nandita:-) Hugs Jan xx

Edward Ebbs

Date: 5/27/2015 7:21:00 AM

"A TOTALLY FICTITIOUS POEM", LOL, Congrats Jan :)

Jan Allison
Date: 5/27/2015 7:25:00 AM

YES!!!!!!!! on my behalf anyway lol :-) Hugs Jan xx

Sandra Haight

Date: 5/26/2015 12:23:00 PM

Too funny, Jan! Congrats on your amazing win! Some imagination you have :) Hugs, Sandra

Jan Allison
Date: 5/26/2015 12:26:00 PM

Yes this was pure imagination Sandra lol:-) hugs jan xx

David Mcsorley

Date: 5/26/2015 8:36:00 AM

Funny Jan, it was almost as if you'd experienced it !!!! lol xxx Dave

Jan Allison
Date: 5/26/2015 10:15:00 AM

I can say in all honesty I have NEVER been to one of these parties lol and not had my dress tucked in my knickers either lol:-) Hugs Jan xx

Tim Ryerson

Date: 5/26/2015 5:39:00 AM

Hilarious Jan! Congratulations...Since you are from across the pond, I do now dub thee: 'The Queen of Cheeky' on Poetry Soup and yes, I suppose it is always better to turn the other one...

Jan Allison
Date: 5/26/2015 6:42:00 AM

LOL Thanks Tim - I will wear my cheeky badge with pride lol:-) Hugs jan xx

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 5/25/2015 6:55:00 PM

Love it, congrats Jan!

Jan Allison
Date: 5/26/2015 1:04:00 AM

Thanks Richard:-) Hugs Jan xx

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 5/25/2015 5:49:00 PM

JAN, CONGRATS ON YOUR BIG DEAL WIN. ALWAYS ~LINDA~

Jan Allison
Date: 5/26/2015 1:03:00 AM

Thanks Linda:-) Hugs Jan xx

Skat A

Date: 5/25/2015 2:37:00 PM

Sweet win, love Skat

Jan Allison
Date: 5/25/2015 2:38:00 PM

Thanks Skat:-) Hugs jan xx

Earl Schumacker

Date: 5/25/2015 10:54:00 AM

Hi Jan, Cute and clever. Nice job! Congratulations on a fine win. Take care. Earl

Jan Allison
Date: 5/25/2015 10:55:00 AM

Thanks Earl:-) hugs jan xx

Constance La France

Date: 5/25/2015 9:53:00 AM

Jan, congratulations to you, this is outstanding 7 and a great idea for a contest

Jan Allison
Date: 5/25/2015 9:57:00 AM

Thanks so much Broken wings - a fun entry am glad dave liked it:-) Hugs jan xx

Tim Smith

Date: 5/25/2015 9:30:00 AM

Congrats Jan on your win...hilarious Tim

Jan Allison
Date: 5/25/2015 9:32:00 AM

Thanks Tim:-) Hugs Jan xx

Carrie Richards

Date: 5/25/2015 9:23:00 AM

A super last line.......!!. (I actually saw a friend, accidently tuck her dress into her panties, after using the restroom in a restaurant......and almost rolled on the floor laughing before I could alert her!!)

Jan Allison
Date: 5/25/2015 9:24:00 AM

I can only imagine the embarrassment Carrie lol:-) Hugs Jan x

Paul Schneiter

Date: 5/22/2015 11:55:00 PM

Jan, this is funnier than any limerick I've ever written (which comes as no surprise). I fully expect to still be laughing about this Sunday in church. What a gift you have!

Jan Allison
Date: 5/23/2015 6:46:00 PM

Glad it made you smile Paul - all i aim to do is bring a bit of humour to soup - and no sniggering at the vicar tomorrow lol:-) Hugs Jan xx

Jaycee Cervenka

Date: 5/18/2015 1:36:00 PM

Perfect set up...and a nice chuckle out of this one...yes this would rank with embarasing moments.

Jan Allison
Date: 5/18/2015 1:37:00 PM

Just a fun write Janet not a shred of truth in it for me lol:-) Hugs Jan xx

Peter Dome

Date: 5/18/2015 10:29:00 AM

Ha ha. love it made me laugh. A pink cheese grantor eh. like the one I saw you n at the party shhhh!. I win't tell anyone. Love the humour the flow was just perfect. Pity there wasn't a photo to remind me. What you get up to eh. best wishes. Pete.

Jan Allison
Date: 5/18/2015 10:31:00 AM

Must have been another Jan you met Peter - never been to a tarts and vicars party and I don't wear a cheese wire lol:-) Hugs Jan xx

Skat A

Date: 5/18/2015 1:01:00 AM

Love it, jan. Skat

Jan Allison
Date: 5/18/2015 1:08:00 AM

Thanks Skat:-) Hugs Jan xx

Lindsay Laurie

Date: 5/17/2015 6:28:00 PM

G'day Jan... thanks for the chuckle Jan, but you'll confuse most Aussies. Thongs are what we wear on our feet down here... thanks again Jan - Lindsay

Jan Allison
Date: 5/18/2015 1:08:00 AM

I know Lindsay there are so many variations of meanings of words - makes it quite confusing:-( Hugs jan xx

Kp Nunez

Date: 5/17/2015 4:47:00 PM

hahaha...Strikes again! I bet your cheeks were flaming hot! Thanks for my first laugh of the day at PS! If there's a higher rating than 7...HUgs! Kim :-)

Jan Allison
Date: 5/17/2015 4:51:00 PM

Pure fiction Kim lol I have never been to one of these parties lol:-) Hugs Jan xx

Paul Callus

Date: 5/17/2015 4:31:00 PM

Fictitious this might be, but the humour is all real! Well done, Jan; the queen of humour carries her crown with dignity:) hugs // paul

Jan Allison
Date: 5/17/2015 4:37:00 PM

Aww Paul you are too kind - I can thank Judy for this one she challenged me to write a 'knicker' poem - I just have to go with the flow of my pen thankfully the majority of the time it is humour that flows from it:-) hugs Jan xx