Long Stomped Poems

Limericks
by Michael R. Burch



Clyde Lied!
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a mockingbird, Clyde,
who bragged of his prowess, but lied.
To his new wife he sighed,
"When again, gentle bride?"
"Nevermore!" bright-eyed Raven replied.



The Platypus
by Michael R. Burch

The platypus,...

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Limericks VII - Naughty, Bawdy, Risque, Absurd

There continue to be modern sequels of the famous "Nantucket" limericks, including this bawdy one of mine:

There was a lewd whore from Nantucket
who intended to pee in a bucket;
but...

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Limericks III - Grab Bag

Being a peace activist, I once wrote a limerick in an attempt to stop needless wars:

Of Tetley’s and V-2's
(or "Why Not to Bomb the Brits")
by Michael R. Burch

The English are very...

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Early morning dawn July
"Mallory"  Damian whispered, sliding 
Closer to her. "Mallory" he Whispered 
Again gently caressing. She wanted
To say stop. It was to late
he moved quite quickly. He spread
Like wild fire. Soon consuming her.
The...

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“Allen saw it first 
Charlie then later
Allen chased the black raven
Charlie lived his dreams”.

Steady rain had been falling for two straight days
In dimming, muted light.

Striding out from the middle of a weeded field
The two men...

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Insecurities is gone in a heart beat now
Emotional injuries fade away somehow
I can feel the tension as it sheds away 
I can deal with the motion of your sway

I feel you here with me, no...

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Written in summer of 1976.


I used to eat my lunch with groups
of businessmen from Campbell Soups.

We drank a drink at lunch each day
Of Coca-Cola mixed with hay

And talked of pending corporate plans
And willow-haired orangutans.

I spent...

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(His Version of The Sadist and The Masochist)

Oh, a masochist what a fitting partner or should I say plaything for a sadist, but by bringing you into this world I knew that a part of...

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IT’S A MAD WORLD In a Lancashire Accent.

I went to the Confectioners today, there was a long queue outside, a metre apart, and it had started to rain. 
The assistant behind the counter had shiny...

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Limericks IV - Donald Trump

The Hair Flap
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

The hair flap was truly a scare:
Trump’s bald as a billiard back there!
The whole nation laughed
At the state of his graft;
Now the...

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It was a hot summer day.  Harry had stopped by Grandma's house and offered to take the two little girls down to the store and treat them to an ice-cream cone.  Grandma, thinking...

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Verse 1: 
There’s one life to live, 
So give it your all
Mistakes were made…just forgive
The past and stand tall
Mistakes were made…come on and move on 
Hoping you’ll save me before I fall
Our future are in...

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My parents had both passed and I felt orphaned, alone --
Although I was married and lived hours away with a family of my own.
And today was a day I had dreaded for months
Silently traveling the...

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Reverend Ralston Pews had no idea what he was going to see at 
the Honkland Shonkastada Diner, but he knew it would be entertaining.
It always was.  A tiny confistacate was happening, he could hear...

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This poor dope needs to work on his memory - 


Early one morning while me and the wife were lying in bed…in the raw…
She caught me staring at what I would feel was the cutest...

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I wandered through the semi busy streets filled with pedestrians as they hurried out of the rain. I continued on with no destination in mind ,no umbrella to shield myself from the frigid elements. ...

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Summer that year was beasty hot and dry. The sidewalks sizzled and roasted my bare feet, and the heat permeated the already parched ground leaving huge cracks and crevices. The grassy lawns—yellow and burnt—smelled like...

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So blinded by tears 
Fighting off childish fears
There's hope to find; actually, there's some here in your heart and it can be hidden in your wit 
Sometimes, I don't mind being left behind come to...

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On one dark and stormy night… on a local, lonely, wind swept moor,
A very young and slightly mad scientist did some craziness, for sure.
Now mind you, he was only 3 years young, but, yet, still...

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Sung to, You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch, (extended version).
KP

You’re a monster, Donny Dump.
Some biiig-time twiiisted clooown.
To no end, I could deride you,
are no depths you didn’t fall to,
no ineptness could elude you,
the bottom-feeders they...

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There’s cheap lunches in the Barley Tavern,
each Wednesday, when after one o’clock.
I always chose to eat beer battered fish,
plus mystery cake a little bit ad hoc.
And this Wednesday here in the tavern,
Ted Austin joined me...

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Harold the Hugh Hefner wannabe carrot top...

spry buck analogous to energizing bunny 
jump/kickstarted procreation ruckus.

Home on the range 
cacophony quite absurd
PlayBoy Bunny herd
and felt ingratiatingly inured,
nevertheless colony or nest 
of doe eyed demoiselles 
stewed over...

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YELLOW BAG

Is there something you want to tell me?

for hours and hours your eyes
mirror doubts and resentments
but let it be... let it be...
I    truly   do   not  care....

I...

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Ever wonder, the sort of things that Dragon and Hubby do when together?
Well never fear, I’m here to explain a Spring Day routine in good weather.
Easter was upon us, as they worked out in the...

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Double, Double, Toil and Trouble
Or Dragon Hood and the Secret of the Burning Pants


Our traveling actor trolls, came home to help with ‘Shakespeare in the Park’.
We wanted ‘Romeo and Juliet’, our neighborhood witches wanted ‘Mac...

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