No Clue

This poor dope needs to work on his memory - Early one morning while me and the wife were lying in bed…in the raw… She caught me staring at what I would feel was the cutest girl I ever saw. “What are you looking at? Go back to sleep. I’m not in the mood, little boy.” “Pretty tough talk for a crabby old bag.” I smugly replied, to annoy. “Listen to me, Mr. up-with-the-sun…you haven’t seen crabby yet, And you just destroyed any chance in the world for what you are hoping to get.” “Oh…come on, honey,” (I turned it on), “I was just teasing you, dear. You know I love you…just as you are. You’re not so bad. Now, come here.” That’s when I spotted the glare in her eyes. What had I said that was wrong? I tried to make up with, “You know what, dear…you would look great in a thong.” The woman assaulted me. I was in shock. Hey…I’ve never seen her so mad. What in the world had I done that she felt was so awful and horribly bad? “Don’t ever speak to me…ever again, and I want you out of my sight. You can go jump in the lake, Mr. scum…and you’re on the sofa tonight.” Now, this was the very same woman who only just eight-n-half hours before Had made me her slave in the kitchen - and hallway - and then on the living room floor! Maybe the fact that she’d noticed me watching her sleep made her feel too - exposed. The one thing I did know was…after my comments…I was the one getting “hosed.” “Don't even touch me. You give me the creeps. I’ll scream if you even come near.” I gave her a real dirty look as I left…then went to the fridge for a beer. There - from the chair by the living room door - I clearly heard cussing and threats. Sitting there, trying to figure things out, hey…this was as bad as it gets. Maybe some flowers would sweeten her up? Some candy…or maybe a card? Of course I could always get down on my knees…but why is it always so hard? Not really sure of what I’d done wrong…I had no idea what to do. And what I could say - to appease for my comments - I honestly hadn’t a clue. Later that morning she stomped from our room, her hair up in curlers - (a mess), So I tried some sugar and told her, “Hey sweetie, you look really good in that dress.” How in the heck can an innocent compliment only add fuel to the flames? “You’re only wasting your time, Mr. slime. And you can take all of your ‘games’ "And shove them up --- where the sun doesn’t shine. My God, you’re pathetic! Goodbye.” Again, I’m in shock. She’s drivin’ me nuts. And now she has started to cry!!! “Honey, I’m sorry. I know I was wrong. Forgive me...I need you so bad.” My pleading would work, as she paused at the door - her eyeballs all sloppy and sad - But that’s when I made the mistake of my life, when begging my sweetie to stay. I told her that…if she would give me the chance…I’d wash all her troubles away… That - lipstick and rouge can be tough to remove…but with plenty of soap and a rag… She could look reasonably pretty again… She broke my jaw with her bag!!!! PS: I've now got 4 new Audio-CDs - @ 4 1/2 hours each = (62 diversely varied pieces). They’re listed on EBAY - under - “Mark Stellinga Poetry” - or available by simply contacting me at -- mark@writerofbooks.com -- should those of you who enjoy listening to poems as well as reading them - and particularly those of you that travel - care to be so entertained. (We use safe and simple - PayPal) There are a bunch of my pieces on YouTube as well --- Cheers, Mark