J.W. Earnings | + Follow Poet |
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Make It Up To Me

Insecurities is gone in a heart beat now
Emotional injuries fade away somehow
I can feel the tension as it sheds away 
I can deal with the motion of your sway

I feel you here with me, no sense of rejection
I taste you so close, pounding me with affection 
Your eyes interlock with mine and I’m feeling fine
As our rainbow auras combine; paradise, we will dine

My endless poetry vanishes out of my reach
These words I speak is an unknown screech 
Hear the echoes of my heart beating, it beats so fast
See the shadows of our past disappear at last…at last…

Silently, raindrops from bitter clouds
Shower us with bittersweet shrouds 
Why don’t you pound me with beloved affection?
Oh, why don’t you paint me with mere precision? 
I weep while I depart from your embrace
My heart leaps insane just to see your face
All you leave me with is a disdainful trace
I can’t keep pace with your graceful race

Sentiments of shame and jealousy mask me
Please rescue me from the flames of utter envy 
I need and want your lovely, majestic loving
But, instead, you left me with little to nothing 

Breathless and speechless
Helpless and hopeless
More or less in distress
You treated me like another laundry mess
You treated me like I was your carpet
I’m on a leash of your animosity and regret 
I deserve better than your negativity and neglect
You stomped on me heartlessly as if I was a hideous insect
Accept me for who I have become…reject not my intellect 

I miss you and how you were before
I don’t know you at all, no, not anymore
Don’t ask for my unconditional forgiveness, 
For I have given you several chances…yes I did…
I won’t be used for your selfish happiness 
I said hello to you; in return, the goodbyes you bid

I have a good enough reason to begin life without you around
I can be satisfied and well off, never overwhelmed all year round 
All I wanted was your affection, It was that simple and clear
I guess you never understood where I stood…I was here…

I held you oh so dear…
With hope and cheer…
Wait, healing is near…
To drive away my fear…
Of losing you in the long run
You thought hurting me was fun
You have felt my pangs of pain
I am the clouds, soaking in rain

Too much wishful thinking won’t get me anywhere
Now that It’s clear to me, I will seek affection elsewhere 
Pitiful excuses won’t give me relief, just despair won’t leave me be
Your grief won’t ever stop me from simply being happy-go-lucky 

And you didn’t notice my need for you
You didn’t even consider my want too 
I expected you to pound me with affection
Simply because I love you, despite the tension
Between us…as it reveals its true colors as time flies
No worries or fuss…we will get through this, no lies

Listen to my pleas of your adoration beyond significant 
Above all forms of temporary love that I find unimportant 
I was never an ignorant or deceived dreamer, so don’t say I was
The reason I feel deprived of passionate touch is because…because…
I simply want you and your affection to lift me up…
To lift me up above the concrete of slowly giving up…

This loneliness is devouring my inner inspiration again and again
These insecurities we felt inside could scare away a million men 
I need everything I don’t have and I’m not afraid to say it
I am not ashamed of my well-being and needs I must admit
I’m letting you know
I got to simply let go
Of everything that is a burden to me or a struggle to me
Our relationship is separate rather than together I see 

I wish I can retrieve my writings back
But, I can’t look back, but forward is my knack 
It’s like a convenient snack in my school backpack 
I was irrelevant like an underrated magazine on a rack 

I want the old you back…
I want the old me back…

I want and I crave your affection that you pound in me – 
I thought you were my only liberty 
Possibly, you understand where I stand, 
Holding the flag of possibilities regarding positivity
I am but a single speck of ocean sand…
Things between us is getting out of hand

I hope you have the motivation to dig deep inside me 
Instead of judging me and manipulating me harshly 
I have given you an abundant amount of chances…I’ll give you one more…
Because I can’t get over you and I’m not through with your affection I adore

You are in chains in my heart
I was abandoned from the start
Obviously, it didn’t ring a bell
That I sought your affection a lot
It’s funny that you couldn’t tell
That I loved you with all the strength I got

You didn’t care and used me up till the brink of madness
You didn’t mind my suffering and hardships in its vastness
Great to know your affection was simply lies in disguise
You only looked forward to the ultimate prize and highs
Of pleasure that is wicked with twisted splendor
Is our future still a mighty blur? I am unsure…
You ignored me, but I endured the nightmare, this unusual nightmare
You were a dream come true until you disappeared out of nowhere

All you can really say and do
Is tell me I’ll make it up to you 
Pound me with affection one more time
Because your shine has turned to sick grime!

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