Long Release Poems | Poetry

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Long Poems
Long poem by Laura Breidenthal | Details

Light On the Devil's Chord - Day 29

Somehow, 
Forward, and headlong
I knew it was day again

There was a shift in the dark mutterings of the Devil,
Who now refused to sleep as I refused to sing,
Almost an anticipation in his voice,
As if he needed this newfound attention,
And as he waited I wondered how quickly
He sought to leap into my dreams
The nights I recalled of late were billowed in sick reservoirs of resentment,
Hatred, cruel agony and, as always,
Plot overlapping plot

Yet, there was, 
In every vagrant heart, a beat,
A thrumming of movement, 
A strum of bass, and a shrill of strings, stings, screams
Voices moaning in strange harmonic rhythms
It was very much alive—
A hell much exultant in the night’s hour
And as day broke, it seemed as if hell,
And all of its inhabitants therein, 
Mourned

The Prison of Plot silenced at my awakening,
And even the Devil ceased his mutterings to gaze at me
I lifted my body out of the pool of warm water, 
Studying his fixed gaze

“Why do you immerse yourself in such holy waters,” He began,
His voice gravelly and gruff,
“When you could easily, like I, 
Rise above it?”

I stepped onto the mucky shore, 
My eyes locked into his own
I stretched the exhaustion away,
Brushed aside the fear, the anxiety and the dry tears
And I listened to his heart—
A thumping, begrudging, trudging beat

“There is no existence warmer,” I sang,
“Than the co-existence of man and truth,
And in this truth, the Spirit resides,
Rising above foolish prides,
Boiling over lies,
Overflowing in grace
Leaving evil with nothing to trace,
And in these whispers,
Do I know my place,
And where it falls silent,
Do I see your face…”

For a heavy moment he only stared,
Then he tore his eyes from me,
His expression, crude, impoverished 
He leaned against the walls,
His claws scratching the cracked stones
His palms pressed upon them tightly
He was stuck in some personal inferno,
And with ravenous reverie, he turned his head toward the pool
A thick envy pouring into his eyes 
He watched the flowing waters tickle the shores
He knew as much as any if he were to intrude,
Like oil, he would be merely an exclusion
Once again,
Wholly black against the mocking transparency,
And hence wholly separated
 
So instead he turned again and watched me, sourly,
As I cupped water into my hands, 
The moisture of its touch giving me life,
I splashed it upon my face, my eyes opening,
I took my time near the pool, 
Caring for my frame, caring for every part of me,
Remembering the peace that the light has given
Till, cleansed, my garments dried
In the still airs of what prison callously offered

“We seek not the destruction of your soul,
But the amplification of your passions,”
He spoke strongly, with rehearsed confidence
“I have plotted and plotted,
Not against you, but for you
There is no song I would sing,
If it did not reach your ears.
There is no better truth,
Than in your knowing tears
And if you were to release your fears,
Your cool resolve,
I wish you should feel no urge
To cleanse yourself before me
No more should you tolerate it,
To be hauled by your feet,
Forced to look up, with the others,
Merely sheep…
To face his light…and shun your own
With your hands and ankles knotted,
Compelled to crawl out of the night,
With your back towards me
 With your back towards me,
You keep your peace…” 

I felt pain in his unfinished words,
No longer knowing if it was his or my own 
I could see he wished to say more,
His claws retracting against the walls,
Mouth agitating, 
Readied and armored to speak,
Something wild bore into him,
Like a fire groping his insides,
Unable to scorch him fully
But agonizing him ever more…

He collected himself and sung to me softly,
“I am a stranger to you, again, I see,
As you force yourself no more to be with me,
Your dreams tell me more than your mouth could ever utter
Could you even bear yourself to look,
Into my eyes,
To see her within me,
She is what exists permanently in me,
Whom I devour willfully
Who has haunted you for years
You worshipped her, unknowingly,
You cared for me as she possessed you
You tethered and tore your garments for me
Exposing your deepest, grittiest hungers
And now you immerse yourself in that poison
Of truth, fallowing inside of you
All hallowed and holy—
NO!
So that your garments wreak of all that I hate of you!
Can you not bear to create once more? 
To think for your own once more?
Can you fathom such a life,
Free from the predictable firmaments 
Where you can burn alive and free,
Writhing in its newness…” 

His voice fell lower yet ever louder,
“Or have you come to me at last,
To lure me, as I should you?
Do you seek to be level to me then?
How confident, privileged you are, 
To be chosen, righteously willing,
To be the godly representation of the Millennium, 
The martyr maiden dancing with the wily Devil,
Producing light in my only living prides,
Swirling in the rages of my future destiny
Willing to serve and save a lowly demon,
And shame its Lord,
I shan’t be so senseless,
As to believe for one moment,
You have come for self-preservation
For a deeper view, an acumen of my ire
To learn from me,
So you may build your rock higher beside 
Christ who holds you so precious—
You come to caress me, then desert me,
As revenge, as retaliation 
You have come to show me love
Only to take it all away in one feminine swoop
You have come to scream,
To fight as your hopeless grandfather did—
To feel power again, 
To feel alive,
So that you can return from the ugly,
Into the embrace of light,
And somehow, you think, 
With all of your new insight,
That it may shine for you then more bright…”
  
As he sang more and more heavily and hatefully, 
I moved ever toward him,
Wrath coming over me,
I felt it as he smiled inwardly, pausing for me to strike 
Breathlessly awaiting the sting of my blow
Till all that separated us was our very selves,
I inhaled our dissension

“Of all the beats,
Of all the moans, and screeches and screams,
Your heart and all its constituents,  
Sing best to me…
And of all my desires,
Of all I wish to prove to Him,
Your need impedes me
Your fire falters me
But as you cannot take the power of God,
You cannot make me strike you
You cannot make me your instrument
You can play me, 
You can speak to me
But, above all, you cannot be me
So let me show you my purpose, Serpent
Let me give you the truth I know, Dragon
Let me give you your heart back, Prince…
Let me show you who I am, Devil.” 

Copyright © Laura Breidenthal | Year Posted 2017


Long poem by Aa Harvey | Details

Within

Within


Play Slipknot’s ‘Snuff’ song four times and use these lyrics:
(Do not use the official video clip. It has more than just the song.)


I still feel your pain within my skin…


Ripping out my heart again,
So I can’t let you in.


Silence only ever hid my truths…


The Book of Life showed us the way;
My fate is up to you…amen.


Never been one to simply move on!
Like to stay in wonderland; all alone!
It still seems to feel like you inside;
All it took was the death of love and suicide.
To find our paradise!
I saw the love within your eyes;
It burnt my soul to say goodbye.


Oh…So now I scream “I’ve changed my mind!”
But apathy has got a grip over me!


Death will surely catch up, eventually…
But if I have you by my side
And I have your love for the rest of time;
Maybe then I can truly say “Goodbye.”


But only once and never again, not in this life!
Happiness has gone from me again!
All I’m left with within my world; is my own pain;
But I never said to you, just what I knew.
Just know I only ever spoke the truth.
I just couldn’t do this to you!
You’re much too weak to take this pain, 
I guess thought the crazy fool.
Oh…But picture me within your heart;
I’ll be your love light in the dark!


Woahh!!


I’ll be the one who cares!
I’ll be the one who is always there!
I’ll be the one you keep within;
I’ll be the one you let within!
I’ll be the one to teach you sin!
If you would only live again…
This bullet has your name on it.


Oh…I’ll bury it within my skin.
I’ll take you deep inside of me!


I’ll open up and I will live again!


PLAY TUNE AGAIN…
PLAY TUNE AGAIN…
PLAY TUNE AGAIN…


Bury me with love within your mind…
Dig me up to play with me, from time to time.
Read what I’m so desperate… to say
I’m older now and people change,
If I hadn’t just walked away…again.


I’d walk straight up to him!
And punch him hard in the face!
Such innocence you have no right to take!
My psychopathic, unstoppable, rage! 
Would have put an end to his days!
But those words I guess I couldn’t say.
I guess you wouldn’t listen to them, anyway.


Oh so shocked that I would let you go!
I hope you know within my heart; you were the one!


But these words that you must never know…
Are truly spoken only to…cleanse my own soul.
Now I know I had to let you go;
I just wanted to tell you that…You are not alone.
Just tell me that you will never go!
Bury me with love and death, deep within your soul.
Know your words are in my heart…
But I could never let you know.
I wouldn’t want to make you cry!
Your tears only ever, made me want to die!
I couldn’t be the one to save your life;
Oh But you will never truly know,
Just how much you have affected mine!!!…


Woahhh!!


The pain I never made you face!
I kept it all deep within.
I buried it deep with you, inside of me;
But I never did find any kind of release.
I guess I just couldn’t let it ever end up like this.
So pity me for all I should have said!
Lay with me once more my love, in our broken bed.
Oh Kiss me deep within your soul of light;
Stay with me and hold me tight!


If you still care I just want you to know…


PLAY TUNE AGAIN…
PLAY TUNE AGAIN…
PLAY TUNE AGAIN…


Together we will surely show this,
This loneliness, its death;
For I will never let you go.
I will only ever walk away.
For I have seen the death of love…
Once more in time, I should…have tried.


But these words of mine,
I guess I just could never say!
I miss you right now my bitter love!
I think of you now and then; sometimes other stuff.
But I want you to know, you are always in my heart.
I never truly left you; but I did depart…
I never told you how I felt.
Oh…I had to leave your broken heart;
But never weep because of me!


Never say…you are unhappy.


You will never be alone,
For you are buried in my soul
And if something I guess I could have changed;
I would have left you to your pain, 
I would still have walked away
And hope to God, I pray! I pray!
That you would only ever have followed me!
My love for you shall never go away.
I feel like I need your love to breathe!


I think I need you!
Trapped inside of me!
I think I saw something in your eyes;
Oh…
I think I saw my paradise, but now I guess I’ll never truly know!


Woaahhh!!!!


I think I’ve hit an all-time low!
So come to me, I’ll embrace you once again!
I’ll speak to you with honesty, my beloved friend;
Let me pay my penance for my sin.
Let me tell your heart and your soul!
That you my love, shall always be kept within.
I keep you safe within my dreams.


Oh I offer shelter to your hurt and pains,
I only ever wanted to let you in!


I only ever wanted to let you in!!!


PLAY TUNE AGAIN…
PLAY TUNE AGAIN… 
PLAY TUNE AGAIN…


So you can truly believe my words when I say…


I will never walk away; 
In the distance I see your faith.


One last time you smiled at me and then…


You walked away then you felt my hand;
Land upon your hand again…


I love you, I always have! 
I just didn’t understand!
But all these words I keep within;
I’ll never hurt you; I’m your friend!
I’m sorry I just couldn’t let you in,
But I believed you would be better off in the end;
If you never saw my face…


Oh if once more I had just walked away;
You would never have read your words and all of this would be a waste!


But if I were to tell you how I really feel…


I’d simply scream at you “This is for real!”
Let’s once more live in sin.


So I can show you my love within…
That you shall always be kept with me, deep within.


So save my soul I need you to care;
I need you more than I need air!
I need your love to set me free;
I need you to become one with me.
I need to tell you I love you my Friend,
I’ll never truly hurt you…not in the end;
I never claimed to be a saint.
Oh in wonderland I love your soul,
It took her death to let me know, I love you so!


Woaahhh!!!


So come be with me or break my hope!
You My Love; I believe You could be the one;
I only tried to be of help,
But you are strong enough to help yourself
And I will pay penance for your pain!
I will not leave, I’m here to stay!
Angels like me fear our souls;


Oh for my love was banished long ago,
If you still care, just know I love you so!

If you still care, just know you are the one!



(C)2013 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.

Copyright © Aa Harvey | Year Posted 2016


Long poem by JW Earnings | Details

Unfaithful

Ah yeah ah oh
Ah yeah ah oh
So scared and fragile...
So weak for only awhile...
Unfaithful me is as cold as glaciers of disgrace glamorized 
Unfaithful you is as hot as fire of desire, burning...you and I are hypnotized...
Mmmmm
Need a shoulder to lie on
You are what I look forward to 
You are like the shiny dawn
You just came out of the blue...blue...
Mmmmm
Ah yeah ah oh
Ah yeah ah oh
So scared and fragile...
So weak for only awhile...
Unfaithful me is as cold as glaciers of disgrace glamorized 
Unfaithful you is as hot as fire of desire, burning...you and I are hypnotized...
Mmmmm 
You are my nicotine...
My kisses and kerosine 
You are my beloved drug
Now, I need your cuddly hug xoxo (shrug)
Or...I'll be swept under the rug like a dead bug
Mmmmm
Ah yeah ah oh
Ah yeah ah oh
So scared and fragile...
So weak for only awhile...
Unfaithful me is as cold as glaciers of disgrace glamorized 
Unfaithful you is as hot as fire of desire, burning...you and I are hypnotized...
Mmmm
Ah no...what did I do wrong now?
Ah yeah...I hurt you somehow...
You are not listening to my midnight cries 
You left me with your merciless goodbyes 
I adored you forever it seems 
You left me with broken dreams 
Mmmm
Ah yeah ah oh
Ah yeah ah oh
So scared and fragile...
So weak for only awhile...
Unfaithful me is as cold as glaciers of disgrace glamorized 
Unfaithful you is as hot as fire of desire, burning...you and I are hypnotized...
Mmmmm
Ah yeah ah oh
Ah yeah ah oh
So scared and fragile...
So weak for only awhile...
Unfaithful me is as cold as glaciers of disgrace glamorized 
Unfaithful you is as hot as fire of desire, burning...you and I are hypnotized...
Mmmmm
There's a wall between us
We aren't on the same rowdy bus
Drunk on the liquor of lament 
I can't get enuff of your scent 
Mmmmm
Ah yeah ah oh
Ah yeah ah oh
So scared and fragile...
So weak for only awhile...
Unfaithful me is as cold as glaciers of disgrace glamorized 
Unfaithful you is as hot as fire of desire, burning...you and I are hypnotized...
Mmmmm
I carve your name on my heart 
I tattoo your sweet words to my lips 
You called me a sexy work of art
You deserve to have a trillion tips
Mmmmm
Ah yeah ah oh
Ah yeah ah oh
So scared and fragile...
So weak for only awhile...
Unfaithful me is as cold as glaciers of disgrace glamorized 
Unfaithful you is as hot as fire of desire, burning...you and I are hypnotized...
Mmmmm
On my knees
Please...oh please...
I won't shed a tear for you
Loving you makes me sick with the luv flu
You changed my mind about the way you looked
You are a book to read...you got me hooked
I had enough of your BS...
You ask if I can date you...
Should I say no or yes?
Fed up with your rude attitude...torn into pieces too...
Mmmmm
Mmmmm
Ah yeah ah oh
Ah yeah ah oh
So scared and fragile...
So weak for only awhile...
Unfaithful me is as cold as glaciers of disgrace glamorized 
Unfaithful you is as hot as fire of desire, burning...you and I are hypnotized...
Mmmmm
Mmmmm
I feel like you hate me to the core
I feel like I'm not anything close to special
I want something more than being a bore...a slutty little whore
A champion in spirit, but a loser in heart 
My heart made a split, that's not all of it I'm afraid 
A genius in mind, but a hideous handsomeless guy from the start
Feeling left behind, only to find your shadows, reflections...I'm a light hue and your a dark shade
Mmmmm
Mmmmm
Ah yeah ah oh
Ah yeah ah oh
So scared and fragile...
So weak for only awhile...
Unfaithful me is as cold as glaciers of disgrace glamorized 
Unfaithful you is as hot as fire of desire, burning...you and I are hypnotized...
Mmmmm
Mmmmm
Tell me the truth, liar that I admire
I'm an aching tooth, my eyes tire 
Everyday, you expect me to be good
I want to satisfy you like tasty food
Chase away the demons in my head
Fill my mind up with angels instead
Dodging the bullets of battered hope
You make me smile when I begin to mope 
You lift me up when I ask for a rope 
I want to hang my sorrows on a string
Just for you to make them disappear 
I felt like nothing, but now I feel like everything 
You, dear, told me not to fear, but be full of sheer cheer
Ahhhh ooooh
Mmmmm
Mmmmm
Ah yeah ah oh
Ah yeah ah oh
So scared and fragile...
So weak for only awhile...
Unfaithful me is as cold as glaciers of disgrace glamorized 
Unfaithful you is as hot as fire of desire, burning...you and I are hypnotized...
Mmmmm
Mmmmm
Mmmmmm ooooh
Ahhhh yeah
I need you
I want you
Baby, kiss me
Hug me
Cuddle me close
Kiss my nose
Let's have a good time 
Let's do a sick crime 
Just you and I
You and I 
I'll remain faithful
Just for you, beautiful
Don't be unfaithful 
Or I'll be sorrowful, not joyful 
Mmmmm
Mmmmm
Ah yeah ah oh
Ah yeah ah oh
So scared and fragile...
So weak for only awhile...
Unfaithful me is as cold as glaciers of disgrace glamorized 
Unfaithful you is as hot as fire of desire, burning...you and I are hypnotized...
Mmmmm
Mmmmm
Behave and be brave
Behave and be brave 
I wish you luck in all you do
And grace and strength and safety 
I wanted to say that I love you 
My vibrant darling angel, be set free
Embrace my arms 
Release your charms
Stay with me and lay with me 
You are the only one I love to see
Xo xo xo 
Ooooh ooooh oh 
Ox ox ox 
Our love is beyond words, the greatest sex
Forget about my ex
I get excited when I receive your text
I get so fixated on your body when we sext 
Ooooh mmmm
Stay Faithful and I will too
Unfaithfulness flies out the window and we are still searching for our missing show
Ooooh mmmmmm...
I will be wrapped up in your love so true...it's too good to be true 
You're as fresh as morning dew 
Ooooh mmmmm
So turned on...
When you turn out the lights...the bedroom lights...brewing delights
All my fears are gone
Hope and happiness are two entangled kites
Oooooh my dream come true 
Oooooh never recovering from the love flu
No need for vaccination of the boredom disease
Because you put my anxious heart at ease 
Ah yeah ah oh
Ah yeah ah oh
So comforted and I do belong 
You are the right one for me all along 
You make me moan by the way you mount me 
You make me feel no longer alone possibly
You're everything I need and want...wowed...
You are marvelous, my honeybee...you're the drama king and you owe you a bow...you make me laugh out loud

Copyright © JW Earnings | Year Posted 2015

Long poem by Crow thepoet | Details

Emo Love

With this needle and thread I stitch the wounds Avril left
but with this blade I angrily carve a new
rough, short, jagged adjacent from the bone in my wrist
for a reflection of our relationship
and an outlet for the anger unable to release
Then another upon my neck where she used to sweetly kiss
fresh and clean, letting the blood fall slowly and peacefully
as I fall to chaos on the inside
Blue is the warmest color
the words sting more than the knife I hesitantly hang
above the vein I'm so desperate to cut
How can something so warm become so bitter, so brutal
I search the mirror for answers just to see her face instead
piercing me, mocking me; a bonfire to laugh at a candle
as she disappears in an array of fragments
falling to sleep by the lullaby of the earthquake 
resounding from my fist
Cradling my hand, tossing away the pain
I collapse under the weight of my destruction
a king of night slain by the queen of day
as music, my magician, attempts to revive me
installing hope while simultaneously shrouding me in defeat
How can cupid so small shoot an arrow so mighty
I curse the sky, it's betraying hue
as I pray for night, praying for mercy
falling asleep in the arms of sorrow protecting me...
Where am I
I open bloodshot eyes into fluorescent white, an illusion
my world is pitch black and I can't open my eyes
As I begin to panic, shaking the bars upon my heart
for it to beat once again 
As I begin to panic
beating upon the neurons while screaming, 'STIMULATE! '
As I begin to panic, kicking the glass in my iris to bring forth color
a vibrant world in contrast to the island of grey 
I persist to escape
a calmness washes over me
a calm voice whispers so eloquently to me
'Hush thou art deceived
come, follow the sound of my voice; come to me'
Is this angel sent to guide me into a peaceful forever slumber
or is she a temptress so beautiful I die at first sight
She said I am deceived
deceived by what, by who; I must know
'Hush thou art deceived
come, follow the sound of my voice; come to me'
That milky, honey echo so familiar
so tantalizing, tangible; the feeling of invincibility to follow
'Hush thou art deceived
come, follow the sound of my voice; come to me'
That sound, that voice bouncing off the walls of my dreams
I burst through to find a coffee shop
teeming with no one but me 
Then, like a miracle of air, there the voice beholds a face
a captivating beauty so perfect
Her hair, a halo of pink lost in a maze of fields painted black
Her eyes, twins pools of green, the most amazing I've ever seen
that no words give release as I make my attempt to speak
My mouth gains dust as my jaws begin to rust shut
Then she smiles
her cheeks produce dimples, her nose slightly scrunching
yet it's still enough to make me melt
me, now a puddle within my shoes
She giggles and lifts me up
I without a fuss as she sweeps me up in a hug
With a voice to make Aphrodite jealous she whispers softly
'Hush thou art deceived, you are not in love with me
but I in love with you so here take my hand
I'll show you my world if I can to see if you understand'
Puzzled I take her hand but I still don't understand
my breath won't resurrect so I save the rest
as she pokes my chest
for her to hear me breathlessly ask her name
She takes a step back with a small little laugh
she grabs my hand as I realize where I stand
Stunned and amazed I turn to run
but the sight of a whale shakes me to the core
the same frequency as I shake her
shouting, 'WHY ARE WE ON THE OCEAN FLOOR? ! '
With a playful smile, she bothered to ask
'You've made castles by the shore, no? 
I know that we are more so let's make castles on the floor'
With a gleeful jump, she began to work
as my panic turns to curiosity, shaking my head in disbelief
I join in, my mind in a tailspin
I have a whirlwind of questions but they blow over with the ocean tide
as she regails her tale of the other side
a world unfamiliar yet she gains my intrigue 
with stories I can't compete
Though silently I beg the question 
How am I deceived, this feels right to me
How can this be wrong with her bright smile bringing me back to life
She looks up at the wrong time, aware I'm elsewhere
runs and jumps into my arms
placing a phantom kiss upon my lips
a stone fortress under siege by vulnerability
With a phantom kiss I return to her realm
amidst her question hanging in the air, 'Is anything amiss? '
I reply with a smile and a shake of my head
asking for a simple change of scenery 
I have a request but it goes unheard
a mouse on Christmas night; though I shake with slight fright
as she gets my request just right
I sprawl out on the grass, the night sky spread out
a cluster of piercings mapping out my former source of glory
now the orchestrator of my misery
I wince with sudden grief, shedding tears of pain thought renounced
pausing only to find the object of my current affection
eyes brilliant pearls, mimicking the stars stoic beauty
perched upon my lap; staring at me intently, intensely
and without words asking who has wronged me so
With words I cannot bear to voice that name
so I pull her into my embrace
her gaze away from the image of me, clutching what ails me in my hand
till my knuckles turn white as snow then I let go
letting the memory fade so I know it's true
And with a sudden moment I look her square in the eyes
for love is all I have inside
as I ask her to sprout wings of butterflies with me
black as a panther mixed with red of passion for me
a costume of gold with a pink lining for her
for she's perfect beyond reason
I ask her to fly away with me to a galaxy outside the milky way
Sadness in her eyes, she denies
placing her finger upon my heart as she cries
reviving my stilled heartbeat...
Was it a dream or just my escape as my eyes flicker wide
welcoming a world I don't recognize
I try to sit up but I fall back
a heavy sigh to escape my thoughts, 'Where is she'
Like an owl, my head spins in a circle just to locate her presence
but like a ghost arises her voice in my conscious
'Hush thou art deceived for I lied
you are in love with me and I in love with you 
but we can only exist in your dreams'
I know I should've savored every moment
but what happens when every moment was an illusion
to everyone, everyone but you

Copyright © Crow thepoet | Year Posted 2016

Long poem by James Inman | Details

That Long Evening


When you came to me...

Not that you wanted me.  Oh, no!  It was I who wanted you,
Your comfort... your caring... your
... compassion, your compassion...
Your body, beautiful and young, perhaps that as well at some different time, some different circumstance.
The beauty of your mind, yes, your essence... yes, that which makes you.
I wanted YOU... needed you.

...you smiled... the light, the beacon that saved my sanity from the storm tossed sea of my existence.
I smiled my feeble simper in return.
You said you looked for me and slipped onto the silvery, wooden bench beside me.
I had run away unable to face you.
I knew what the night would deliver... Goodbye.  We would yet share our days but no longer our substance... your pain... my insecurities...

Oh, how you opened to me when we were new, like a bird freshly freed from its cage, stretching its stiffened, unused wings, your thoughts... hesitant but fluid.
You told me of your helplessness... of the night of fear and anger, the giving and loving in your heart stripped from you... taken by the one closest to you, so... violent, so... abasing.

How could anyone ever love you again, you asked...
 
I felt your pain.
I could not, but I wished to share it with you... to take it from you... to leave you whole, to help you... forget.
You used it.  In your beautiful way... you wanted it... to create comfort where there was hurt... warmth where there was fear
... compassion.

...How could you not be loved!

...our talks and feelings... and you... never more to be a meaningful measure of my life.  Then there was me.  My destruction was my own.  Concern on your face told me of the helplessness you felt as I confessed my demons.  You had no answers.  I wanted none... only comfort, your comfort.
I opened my soul to you... said things... private things... things that should never have left my lips... things I had never, could never share with anyone.
You listened...
I told of destroying those closest to me...
You listened...
I told of my feelings for you...
You listened...

Then things changed.  I approached you one warm, bright morning and you looked at me.  The deep, bright orbs of cerulean that are your eyes twinkled then squinched gently as the edges of your supple... soft... inviting lips mingled with your blossoming cheeks.  As always, the warmth of your alluring smile enveloped me.
You whispered in your gentle voice, “I missed you.”
Such beautiful words that I had so longed to hear.  I returned your words, “I missed you.”
-But you need not miss me.... I am here.-  You looked at me in deep reverie. You said nothing but I knew that I would never again hear those words pass through your delicate lips.

...you spoke of your doubts.
I listened...
You spoke of your desires.
I listened.
I felt shame for who I was and what I did, but you gently touched me... caressing me... my back... my shoulder.
You said “I care about you,”
... compassion.
You pulled me to you and we embraced.  For long moments I held you, our bodies pressed together like a flower’s clinging petals... always touching... never wanting to release their grasp... to unfold... to open... for fear of ending the moment...

Not long before, I remember you turning to me.
“A magic hug,” you said, your searching arms reaching for me... and magic it was... they were.
The touch of your hands gently soothing me... the weight... the firmness of your full body against mine... your petite silhouette lingering beneath my awkwardly grasping arms.

How could you not be loved!

Each touch inviting more... each movement of my fingers tasting your skin.  But it had to end as each instant... even a magical one... does.

...but as with everything the sweet moment was slowly lost.  You sat as if waiting.  Still... not moving, quiet... not speaking.  I leaned toward you...

You grew cold.  I did not understand.  You withdrew from me... not speaking to me... not looking at me.  I knew not what pain I had caused you, my friend... no... not friend... you never thought of me as your friend... never wanted me as a friend.  You made that clear, I am not your friend.  Friend... yes... you were my friend... are my friend... will always be my friend.

You called me needy.
You said you could not bear the strain of your pain and mine.
You said you cared too much... for whom?  You never said... never too much for me.

I seemed to be your charity... Fix him!  He’ll be well.  He is broken but not beyond repair, fix him!
...compassion.
I thought our need was mutual.  You listened... I listened.  I cared... You cared.
I was still broken.

Then came the rage.  You screamed.  Like a Banshee filling the night sky you howled into the wind, “ I’M ANGRY... AT EVERYONE!!”  I tried to understand... to help.  You never explained.  You never seemed to look at me... you avoided me...
You... hurt me, you hurt me.

...I kissed you...
sweet... gentle... beautiful.
The most tender of touches, your supple, full lips against mine... between mine.  I drew you in with every breath.  I tasted you.
I lingered against you... please don’t end.
I savored your gentleness... please don’t pull away.
Oh God what am I doing!!
I desired you, your presence, your voice, your touch, yes, your
...compassion.
Don’t pull away... it will end me.
“Please tell me you want this.”
“Of Course I do,” gently whispered, you appeased me...
never again to feel your lips against mine...
never again to press my body against yours... to feel the softness of your smooth skin beneath my finger tips... 
to languor in your magical embrace.

I HATE YOU... simple words, easily said.  Why could you not say them.
I HATE YOU... they would have ended things so much more quickly.
I hate you, leave me alone.  It would have been so much kinder.
I hate you, don’t talk to me.  I gave you the chance, “You seem to hate me,” I offered.
You couldn’t say them
...compassion?
I will never say them.

How could you not be loved?  You never let me.

You arose from the bench as dusk turned to dark.  The evening air was cool and the time was late.
I gazed longingly into your blue eyes.  You spared me a last smile... beautiful smile... sweet smile... your good bye... thank you.

Copyright © James Inman | Year Posted 2015

Long poem by Kim Rodrigues | Details

A SNOW QUEEN TALE

Part 1: FORE SIBERIAN FATE silk wings wet - angel on the lake. starlight glitter separates from the golden wheat. her docile hair, prophecy of ice. winter pink, pinched cheeks. ice skate scrapes - flecks of flakes. the snow queen before her relentless reign, a pretty thing. her smile warms the water, her eyes true glacier blue. Part 2: APOCALYPSE glacier blue eyes thunder, icy waves surprise the tow. it goes under… homemade flakes, bitter bite of solid shards, assails the wicked night. it’s her laugh that shackles the wind, splitting islands, toppling icebergs. her marionette claws control the climate. her blades precisely suffer the ice. mercurial avalanche. thermometer drops. children burrow under blankets. atmospheric fear. dry lines, etched into the snow-white canvas. Part 3: COLD SHOULDERS entrenched in idiopathic insanity a steadfast echo ‘he lied...he lied’ when she could cry no longer her tears crystallized, her iceberg eyes - epic blue. friends’ cold shoulders like disembodied shrugs. misery she cannot shake. one thing she managed to stand over mountain peaks graceful with siberian tiger teeth, shoulders perfectly rounded. her slight figure wrapped in majestic blue - the raw color of her bondage. curiosity of wool-white hair. she often dallied with it’s softness, in the mirror. it could fall to her feet in umbrage, or be whipped up blizzard-like - placated as a braided crown. ‘the fool - he hides!’ she tortures any reminder of his kind eyes, warm smile, kissable lips. Part 4: NO ONE KNOWS she bleeds deep inside - a cavern of stalagmites. her warm heart plunges into an echoing abyss. ‘no one knows…’ sharing would be death. and so she’s buried that bloodied embryo, in the gallows grip of fate. he’d promised her silver, gold, diamonds and pearls. he’d promised her forever. she sought his child. she’d only sire sorrow. thus fate would kick her to the ground. he didn’t know his seed lay in her soil. a fist of fury would pummel all dreams. there’d be icy jewels where eyes pretend. her clairvoyant blues burn for her unborn son. her innocence lost in her north pole irises. she’d not even pause to release him from the grave. evermore, she’d cradle, the doom in her womb. she live for him. the queen vowed to find the absentee father. she’d make him pay, then she’d shatter. spine trembles as the wind howls with increasing fury... Part 5: DESPERATION a tomb buried under snow. the villagers wear eskimo overcoats. unaware that despair drives them ever colder... stern snow whips at lashes and outstretched noses. no longer playful little snowflakes. the tongue cannot endure the sting of ice. knees tremble through compacted snow. shovels a commodity – crippled wooden handles splinter and break. those near the equator also shiver and shake. Their tormented orb hangs precariously in the darkened sky, as the villagers wonder out loud, “why?!” (the snow queen has seasonal rests. she collapses upon her slab of stone. her mind in requiem - cold and comatose.) villagers furiously plant, chop, eat everything green. winter has no habit. it comes and goes with caprice. committee selected to search out answers “when and where did this insanity start?” “is there a who or a why?” they fret not over words, for emotion has become their friend. Part 6: SNOWMEN AT ARMS contact made, with each icicle tap on a man’s shoulder. just in case of age or disguise, she examines the face, the eyes, the expressions of love and hate. she shakes the women, wraps serpentine around their waists, jealous of their size, their youth, virginity. each child she doth despise. her own would be greater, more talented, more handsome. in the winter’s mind these ideas greedily sold, like the shape of a perfect flake. snowmen armed with icicle spears ready to go to war. the village that lends itself to this selfish man will pay. its walkway would become snow-covered gravestones. the one thing that makes her frozen lips curl upwards - the thought of death. her heart of stone does not beat. it bears down like an athlete’s barbell sitting upon her chest. she seems wretched and regal atop her empty sleigh. like an eagle perched, ready to swoop down upon its prey. Part 7: THE RECKONING he laughed when she found him, “snow looks good on you,” humor bit her in the jaw. he had no remorse for his sins “why you were just a pitiful lass.” “look at you now, much lower class.” he grinned, serpentine smug. and she saw her coldness reflected in his eyes. ‘what had she become? his queen?’ an ice queen, indeed! the child she lost, forever ago, bled onto the death pallet of snow. her inner ego humbled. not before him! but before mankind... she recognized the epitome of evil and once again, saw her own shards in his eyes. she didn’t blink, just stared until he broke, splinters from his icy mirror of glass. a minute ember felt in her unbeating heart: ‘they could never forgive me’ ‘winter will fade away’ ‘the best i can bless them with is spring’ ‘they will wonder where i’ve gone, but should not spend one second on that thought’ ‘i shall leave reminders in the stars, in the trees, in hidden caves, not of myself, but reminders of how to love.’ ‘that’s the best i can do, not for me...forget me!’ and winter turned into spring, with lovely things, until the people needed autumn and snow. cookie cutter shapes of hearts, diamonds, and lucky clovers in blue, orange, yellow, red leaves. and love could be smelt again in honeysuckle, roses, lilacs, sweets, and fresh-baked bread. in caves they’d find no more war. just joy and happiness of families holding hands. filling their hearts with pregnant joy, turning them away from jealousy and hate. a time so great...and somehow the snow queen’s heart beats from far away, far below, forgotten but unfrozen, still. The End

Copyright © Kim Rodrigues | Year Posted 2017

Long poem by Gregory R Barden | Details

Adieu - Part 1

Do you remember?
We lay in the moonlight, exhausted and content,
Moments from perfection, skin glistening with moisture,
Salty and sweet from love - love so amazing
That it stunned us every time ...
Always better than before, and always perfect.
Even from the very first, always different and new,
Yet always the same - perfect and lost and ONE.
Feeling so entwined that we forgot
Where you ended and I began.
So incredibly mingled and joined and blended

And mixed and combined, that for an incredible moment,
A moment that always seemed to stretch to infinitude,
For that eternal moment we were no longer "we" ...
Our spirits were so completely interlaced,
That we almost felt ... alone. Lonely. As us.
But then always, somehow, enough of the world
Would slow down and let our breath
And minds catch up to our souls,
And we knew it was that amazing "we"
That had brought us here a thousand times before,
Focused to a point of energy so perfect

And loving and all-encompassing -
A kinetic rush that felt like being caught in
The thunderous curl of an ocean wave,
A wave that crashed us to shore and slowly
Rolled us over and over in the fading wash,
That ever more gently pulled us back
From the shore of ecstasy and joy,
With it's energy flowing out to the calm,
And the gentle swells reminding us
That "we" were you and I once more,
Wasted and wet and wonderfully blissful.

Do you remember? Do you?
That sexy song from Quincy's Jook Joint
Played on endless repeat, so perfectly matching 
The mood and the moonlight and the glow
Of your perfect, porcelain skin.
That amazing soft blue, moonlit skin
That I could not keep from touching,
Brushing the tips of my fingers so gently
That you almost didn't know they were there ...
So softly that they were like a dance of the breeze,
And the energy between the tips of my fingers

And the electric surface of your skin,
Would give you little shivers of pleasure.
Those spots that only I knew, but knew so well ...
The soft indent behind your knee,
The palm of your hand, the underside
Of your gently outstretched arm,
The small of your back where the dimples are,
The space from inside your ankle to your arch,
(Oh, how I delighted in your feet,
Those adorable little feet),

The delicate slope at the nape of your neck,
Those amazing lines on your lower-to-mid torso,
That drew routes from your sides to your sublime,
The gentle, curved pocket
Inside your upper thigh, and the luscious,
Creamy places they all led to.
Just the tips of my fingers like warm rain,
And your skin reacting like the drops splattering -
Little quivers of dermal arousal
That would make your breath catch in your throat,

Then release in a sigh that slayed me,
Sword-through-heart, and quietly sent me
Out of my conscious mind, urging me to repeat
The exploration of your skin, and seek out
Those silky, sultry spots once more,
But this time with the warm brush of my mouth.
Ubiquitous and thorough, everywhere ...
Slowly, softly, with the tip of my tongue
To sweeten the journey, but hungrily, too,
Like my lips had never tasted sugar,

Yet now they knew honey, nectarous and syrupy-sweet.
I'd alter between that tender touch of electricity,
(Like your skin was truly a porcelain shell,
So thin that the slightest pressure
Might crumble it's surface),
And the gentle but keen press
Of unsated hunger, adoring every inch - 
Tasting the salty sweet of you.
Like butterflies alight, your shudders
Would quicken, and your sighs would increase

In their intensity, my mind and body losing their grip
On the discipline that I employed to tease you
The way you desired ... with my hands, touch,
Mouth, breath, tongue, kiss.
Then the quest to lose ourselves
In each other would start all over again, and again,
It would be pure, and again, it would take us
To "that place", the place of endless time
And bliss and passion, swimming up each other
Like rivers, and washing back to the sea of reality.

Do you remember? Tell me you do ...
It was one of those perfect moments,
And you lay in the moonlight, looking at me
Like I was everything ... like your hunger
And longings and dreams and joy and contentment
And triumphs and pleasures and hopes
Were all complete, fulfilled, sated ... by ME.
Like I was the ONE, the only ..
Like I was the rest of your life,

And your eternity to come.
The tiny spot of moonlight glinting in your eye,
Focused on me, searching my form
And back to lock eyes ... and that smile ...
Oh, that little smile that told me everything
I ever needed to know,
That was more moonlight and starlight
And sunshine, than the heavenly objects themselves ...
That smile that wrapped my heart in it's iron grasp

The very first time I saw you,
And still has not left me to this day.
Though it's visage has been gone from me
For years, I still feel it's warmth on my skin,
I still shine it into my dark soul
When it seems the black there will never be gone.
Just the MEMORY of that smile saves my
Worthless soul from the nightmares that
Losing you has wrought the ebb of my dreams.

Do you remember? I know you do ...
You were lying there, adoring ME, (wow),
As I was adoring you,
And we both smiled at each other,
That knowing smile that proved we had just
Visited again that place so many never will,
And were now basking in the serenity
That only such a night, and such an experience,
And such music, and such love,
Could create for two people.
And as I smiled with immense joy ...

As I smiled with love and fullness ...
As I smiled with complete contentment ...
As I smiled at my soul mate ...
Tears began to stream down my face ...
And a certainty I had never before known in my life,
Struck me with the weight
Of it's horrid truth - reached deep into my being,
Warm from love, and ripped my heart into shreds.
I know not where it came from or why,
But it was the deepest truth I had ever
Experienced, and it was too much for me to bear.

(continued)

Copyright © Gregory R Barden | Year Posted 2017

Long poem by Gregory R Barden | Details

A Walk On the Beach

I went again today ... to that place, the allurement overwhelming ... the one we called "ours" so tritely,
"Mine" before you, "mine" again now, (tho' others have doubtless staked claimed - ages before and since).
I went there to "forget" you ... to put life in perspective again -
To feel the awe of all creation and my insignificance amidst it ... yours ... ours.
Just one of the endless ways I forget you each day.

My essence is there ... an open-air cathedral for the melancholy,
(And I one of its honored caretakers and most stolid gargoyles, cold as granite).
The redolent brine ... laughing gulls ... clang of a buoy ... hypnotic wave wash,
Like it's lulling the day to slumber, or heartening me to listen ...
Listen to the rhythmic music of nature's capricious breath.

I walked to the end, where the ledges meet the sand, (the way we always did),
A bit of a hike, more than three miles down and back, I think,
But it seems as near as ever when I'm so enthralled with what my senses drown me in.
It's always there, (waiting for me, I like to think) ... "Our" rock ... hours spent there ...
Talking deep, talking nothing ... kissing, arguing, ruminating, dreaming, being silent, being loud ...

(Minds at one moment as if one, the next, eons apart ... our own worlds). 

That rock, though molded and shaped by centuries of water and wind,
Fit us perfectly ... as if all those years of endless pounding of surf and gale,
Was a premonition for our special moments ... was a monotonous preparation,
For romantic fools like me who find fate inescapable ... who find happenstance hard to accept,
And who believe that this rock was placed here for our purposes alone ... (foolish).
Imagine the stories that rock has absorbed ... not just mine, but endless others,
Who have found that place as special and receptive for love and melancholy as we.
I wonder, when others are there alone, if they do as I do -
I talk out loud to no one - out into the ether - sometimes from the deepest part of my being,
Things I would or could never speak to another human ... but that spot ... 

It coaxes them out ... the salt air and sounds of the shore, reach their fingers into my being,
And grasp things there I didn't know existed ... and I'm obliged to turn them to sound,
To give substance of voice to validate their importance ...
Not importance to me or my loves or any human or nature or even God ...
But importance to the moment ... to existence and its divine principles.

(These are the precise things this place stirs within me each time I'm here ... but always mixed with you).

There have been times ... times when I went in winter, during stormy weather ...
I love the ocean then the most ... it's personality is at its most basic ... it's most visceral:
It's strength, it's anger, it's exuberance, it's joy, it's indifference to humanity,
Is at its most obvious ... and my significance to myself is never more potent.
There are usually no people there then, and it's as if it's been placed there for me alone to appreciate.

At those times, when there are no others, and the surf is pounding ... the waves raging against sand and stone,
And the gulls are fighting the winds off-shore, the bell-buoys arguing with the swells, and the fog-horns warning ...
I walk to the end ... to our rock, and I stand up on it, and without thinking of anything but you,
And your eyes, the way they betrayed your soul the first time they met mine,
Your hands, the way God made the spaces between your fingers fit mine so perfectly ...
Your smile, that makes those "light up a room" clichés seem so inadequate,
That incredible tiny electrical vibration I felt when I touched your skin, (like no other),
And your voice, that never stopped making my heart flip whenever you'd speak my name,
Your sigh, a music so sweet and forbidden ... a melody for me alone, that held me prisoner ...
Thinking on all that defines what you are and were and meant, (and the void left behind) ...

I reach down into my soul, to that place that terrifies me, where I'd never go at any other time,
(The place I refuse to see when I consider the mirror each day ... the place I will always deny),
I saturate myself with that dark place and all that it holds ... all that it hides,
And with all my might I tear it from my gut in a single yell ... a sound as primal as my surroundings.
Not a scream of terror, but one of release ... a release of contrition and self-awareness ...

A purging of pain and joy and fear and passion ... loss and love and anger and insignificance ...
Hatred and jealousy ... exuberance and relief ... the longing to feel, and the desire to never feel again ...
All my emotion - negative, positive, ambiguous - the multitude of things I feel that are beyond expression...
I scrape them from my being with all the force I can ... completely, without regret or wonder,
Face skyward, I return them to the places they belong ... carried to nothingness on the ocean winds, (like the dust I someday will become).

No one can hear ... no thing can hear ... even to me the sound is swallowed by the surf.
The gulls and sandpipers go about their business, (I could be another of these rocks,
And it would matter not to them) ... my loud proclamations to the sky unrecognized.
But to me this little ritual is priceless, this place as precious as any ...
My soul renewed as my breath is spent, (at least temporarily), my mind as clear as the cloudless sky.

My thoughts are still of you ... us ... there ... magical ... sun dancing as a million jewels on the waves.
Or moonlight hypnotizing us to dream and believe and feel sure it would never end ...
Moments so precious ... so bathed in romance that they were eternal ... captured in time,
Beyond the sobering brush of reality ... and at those moments, all that mattered ...
No thought or feeling or emotion or thing that wasn't US ... alone but not alone.

(continued)

Copyright © Gregory R Barden | Year Posted 2017

Long poem by Brian Johnston | Details

Driving Alone Through the Sand Hills of Nebraska

My love is light (a fairy kiss?)          
               Like the pressure of sunbeams on your cheek, 
        Ineffable, and yet capable of changing lives…
		Darkening skin to a more attractive hue, 
		Pushing spaceships to distant stars (given time) , 
		Even causing cancer given sufficient lack of love for self.
        For love is not about just getting needs met by another, 
        No, love is more like a laser's coherent beam….
                For in reflecting back a portion of what is given, 
                The power of what is being created grows
                Until it can cut through the hardest steel
        And span the gulf between galaxies.

Poetry too grows through the cross-fertilization of newborn lines, 
        The lines of this poem insist that I record their birth.
 	        Each new line grabs me by the scruff of the neck, 
		       Forces me to hit the brake, grab my pen, 
		       And claim it in my family bible…
	        My only children, clamoring to be set in ink.
         As these Voyagers' pass into the present state of my art
                (Some that I barely recognize in their profligate parentage
	               Of older verse's new verse's newer verse still)          …
		               Somehow still carriers of my own genetic code.
                They press my design against the blank page
	                Flying in search of, homing on… your heart.
 
My love's intent is simply truth (do you want less?)          
	 Would you have me downplay 
	 	The warmth of our connection
                        Because it is complicated by here-to-fore
			        Unacknowledged passion, spiritual connection, 
			        And the remnants of former relationships
			        (Even those still gasping for breath) ? 
		        Or feign a lack of attachment to it's denouement
			         In a solitary attempt to feel safer? 
	 No matter can restrain the effects of gravity
		On the orbits of other bodies in its field of influence, 
		 	Gravity that binds us all in deep wells of space-time.

 Your kiss of greeting…
	After so many years of imagining such a possibility, 
	Imprinted deeper than even my memory of our first meeting, 
		Our moonlit shadows touching as we soaked naked
		In the steaming waters of a volcanic mountain spring.
	This new conjunction of souls occurred in God's clear view, 
		Without artifice or scheming on our part
			And rocked my inner core to it's depths, 
	Organizing molten currents of confused turbidity
	Into a magnetic flare of such intensity
		That iron flew to my spine
	Inspired me to finally declare my love
		To acknowledge your impact on my life…
	And after a period of gestation
		Gave birth to this poem of celebration.

 Back to Nebraskan reality and a new mystery…
	I pass an overturned car, 
		Its wheels tied by yellow police tape, 
	A metaphor for my life perhaps
		'Damaged but still salvageable.'
	The windows are broken out, 
		The occupants removed to a distant hospital somewhere
			(Hopefully arriving alive) , 
		Their odds and ends of life scattered like garbage
			On the inverted ceiling of their car.
	The explanation, perhaps, is the water still standing
		Several inches deep on the road side near the wreck? 
	A sudden orgasmic release of cloud in a desert….
		The car tops the hill to find the highway
			Buried by a lake of dimensions only God can know.
		Who would expect such a thing in Nebraska's sand hills? 

And what does it say about me finally
	That I am so drawn to distant objects, 
        That the two women given access to my heart are
		Both still tied to failed marriages
			By dark chapters I am not part of
			And innocent children who need their love? 
	And at our age where is the partner without a past? 

 Is this all that God has planned for you and me, 
	That we 'just miss' every thirty years or so? 
		I know there are times I am afraid to trust another's love, 
			Cannot even hear words of genuine affection.
		Perhaps this explains my attraction to women
			Whose availability might really be in question? 
		Maybe I'm afraid to let a real lover in? 
			Is the simple dream of love a better choice
				Than the chance of finding real love anew
				(Even love with an expiration date) ? 
		I think I'm more distrustful of my own heart's passion
			Than I am of women being unreceptive to my love.
		Do you struggle with similar feelings? 
	And is it my lot to only remember passion like this in a poem
		While you spiral away to unimagined rendezvous'? 

The coldness of space is not after-all
		The simple absence of heat…
	No, in human dimensionality it is more the absence of others…
		Others who both shine life force toward us
			And reflect our own light back to us, 
		Who collide with us physically and emotionally
			Altering our pathways forever, 
				And who crater the façade whose design
				We imagine belongs to us alone.
	The void of human space-time is a true 'black hole'
		Sporting only star death fragments of the 'Big Bang.'
 
This is all I really know…
	I treasure the memory of our 'fly-bys'
		Even if that's all they ever are.
	And if I'm lucky this joy, 
                This celebration of your existence, 
	Will continue to pour out of me in songs and verse…
		For your ears always (if I am so honored) , 
			For God's heart (as I was born to honor Him) , 
	And to the stars alone if I have only them for company.

Brian Johnston
August 2009
     
This poem, like 'A Walk Near Blunt, ' began during an actual drive from South 
Dakota to Oklahoma and then took on a life of it's own. These 'real life 
narrative' poems are part of an attempt on my part to give precedence to truth 
and content over form and rhyme. For readers with an interest in science, I 
hope you also enjoy my attempt in this and other poems to bring my love of 
Physics into the world of poetic imagery.

Copyright © Brian Johnston | Year Posted 2014

Long poem by Justin Bordner | Details

Operation Money Jump

Thanksgiving, 1971,
a parachute pilgrim approaches Northwest Flight 305
as Dan Cooper, anonymous businessman,  anarchist airborne, 
black suit, black sunglasses, a black tie
and a black briefcase broaching black motives,
Portland to Seattle, prison or criminal pantheon, 
before he can be inducted into purgatory, or the Valhalla of antiheros
the unknown villain of a quiet cause
got buckled into the last row of the 727
stealth as painless sin
cold bluish clouds smearing the November sky during ascent
as though flying through the palette of a sad Cezanne
while low volume, buttery jazz tinkered on the plane's airwaves,
as the Stewardess handed him his bourbon soda
Mr. Cooper placed a neat note in her hand with polite moxie,
she took it with salted style, uninterested in a comeon,
moments later, struting to the rear with applepie aplomb
the quaint stranger, sunglasses removed, needed her to heel,
to him she came, ready to reject his appeal,
however, there would be no ripe rejection on this special day,
her eyes of professional pity were met with his slow burning stare
as he informed her with untroubled insistence
that he had a bomb, and that she needed to read the note
without visible alarm,
reading the demands made her feel excited
she instantly felt sweat in so many places,
she knew she'd give no resistance, 
she wanted to cooperate,  for everyone's safety, 
briefly speaking with another Stewardess
she entered the dark cockpit,  danger in her hands,
there was going to be no argument
the stipulations were going to be satisfied
in exchange for safe landing and undamaged life,
returning to this man she'd never understand
who had the power to spontaneously change lives, she sat by him,
the plush red seats made her feel so warm
while sitting next to his insanely calm authority, 
it seemed as though he owned them all
the passengers, the crew, and aircraft,
the skyjacker opened his briefcase as if it's contents were sacred
showing her the parts of his lunatic design
then quickly, carefully, closing the shock box,
his eyes went back to the window
the view giving him vignettes of what he knew as Vietnam, 
the mountains and divided greens, the mischievous mists,
she asked him, "Do you have a grudge against Northwest?",
to which Mr. Cooper replied with wry correction, 
"I don't have a grudge against your airline Miss,
I just have a grudge. "
Upon landing in Seattle at 5:PM
the innocent and uninformed travelers exited the plane
onto the slick tarmac, untarnished and untraumatized,
oblivious to the epic history that was being fuelled in part
from their supporting roles on this Thanksgiving flight,
the F.B.I. and airline owners were playing nice
like cats whom wanted the amusement and the ambush,
Cooper was given four, nonmilitary parachutes as requested, 
and $200,000 in twenty dollar bills
unmarked, random serial numbers, also as requested, 
although, to help make sure that the "House" would win
all the money came from the Reserve Bank of San Francisco
with every bill number begining with "L" , and issued in 1969,
a little trick for the devil himself,
less than two hours had elapsed since takeoff from Portland
yet the hijacker was well on his way to meeting his ultimate objective,
each of his goals fitting together with precision
like watch parts keeping time of a fragile freedom,
after receiving the 21 pounds of illicit cash
giddy with blushing banditry,
intoxicated by the scent of fresh money harvest
Cooper did a jumpy Irish jig
out of view of snipers and cameramen, 
nightfall was dimming the stage
as the abyance of audacity amplified everyone's anxiety
including Cooper, who for the first time
exhibited a snakey irritation
during the ponderous refuelling of the jet,
he could taste the escape,
only he and the flight crew remained aboard,
at 7:36 PM the plane was lifting into a lawless legend
and the law was left clueless on the land,
heading to Reno so to refuel for Mexico
taking the final puff of his last cigarette
like a fugitive at peace with fate
he told the Stewardess that she was sweet
and that it was time for her to go,
to go up front to the pilots and close the door,
a thousand fantasies flew through her mind,
she felt attached to him
as though he were a nightmare that she needed,
turning around to see him again
to see that face which witnessed her heart change
while securing the parachute to himself
his eyes spoke to her's with excited fear,
and then waved her goodbye as she closed the door,
shortly afterwards he instructed the pilots
through the intercom to maintain at 10, 000 feet,
release the cabin pressure,
adjust the wing flaps to 15 degrees
and to fly no faster than 200 MPH,
he left the black tie with Mother of Pearl tie pin
on the seat of his former self
and then proceeded to the plane's rear stairway
as a paratrooper prepared to meet perdition, 
the weight of his crime tight against his body,
in the cockpit
where speculation was spinning on their nerves
the pilots saw the red glow of emergency
from the panelboard indicating stairway open,
as D.B. Cooper stood braced to the lowered stairs
freezing wind icing his mouth and eyes
he thought about how his Uncle
15 years earlier inspired his curiosity for skydiving
and how the U.S. Military should be proud of his proficiency, 
he recognized the Lewis River through a cloud break
and then hurled himself like a hawk
into the dropzone of America's elite outlaws -

J.A.B.

This poem is based on the true story of "D.B. Cooper",
whom has never been caught for the 1971 skyjacking.
He escaped with $200,000. Other than $5,800 being discovered
along the Columbia River by a family camping in 1980
the F.B.I. has found no more of the money, nor his body,
parachute, clothing, etcetera. 
In 2016 the F.B.I. finally closed the investigation
on "Dan Cooper"...Justin A. Bordner

Copyright © Justin Bordner | Year Posted 2016

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teacher teachers day
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